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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My husband cheated my with an escort

131 replies

Desp1980 · 28/08/2018 10:15

I’m married with my DH for 10 years and we have 2 beautiful children. Two days ago I found a message in his phone with a woman’s name, address and web page. It seemed he visited an escort and when I questioned him regarding this message he denied everything saying that it never happened. I visited the webpage mentioned in the message and I discovered a review which it seemed to be written by him. In this review he wrote that he doesn’t find me attractive anymore because I have put weight but at least he wrote that he loves me. What should I do? Should I forgive or divorce him?

OP posts:
ChristmasFluff · 28/08/2018 19:29

Dear OP,

It doesn't matter your shape, your size, how you are compared to in the past etc etc. A person of character would discuss marital problems/divorce with you, they wouldn't unilaterally go to a prostitute and put your health at risk.

Your husband is a complete and utter arsehole and I have no idea why you would waste a second more of your time on him. No, he doesn't love you, and he certainly doesn't respect you or he could never do this.

God, to come back again to bloody Jeremy Kyle - is this what you dreamed of as a kid? A bloke who doesn't address his marital problems but cheats with a prostitute instead?

You really are worth so much more than this disrespectful, morally destitute piece of crap. Know it and take action accordingly.

Newerversion · 28/08/2018 21:57

Sweetness, My evidence was phone bills, PayPal payments, bank withdrawals. It was a seedy, sordid trail of truth about the man I was married to. He also broke down and told me certain things too- in the pathetic belief that honesty might make me give him a second chance Hmm

CaMePlaitPas · 28/08/2018 22:07

How dare this man do this you do. NO ONE has the right to make you feel like shit, OP. He has completely reneged on his wedding vows. He is blaming you for him being a shit human being, it's understandable that you're feeling completely disgusted, betrayed and upset - have a cry if you need to - but tomorrow morning I'd take great joy in throwing him out.

Starrygirl12 · 28/08/2018 23:23

Bin hi

Starrygirl12 · 28/08/2018 23:23

Bin him !

NadiaLeon · 29/08/2018 00:05

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Shazzyj87 · 29/08/2018 00:14

He's disgusting. I would Get rid of him . I'm so sorry for what he's put you through. I've recently been cheated on also, but to leave a review like that has made it all the more horrible. Nobody deserves to be treated like that. X

Electrascoffee · 29/08/2018 00:32

Nadia - he was trying not to hurt the op so he used family money to cheat on her with a sex worker?? I've never heard such ridiculous mansplaining.

hayli · 29/08/2018 06:28

I cannot stand these type of men, absolutely disgusting. No regards to your body having to grow his children?!!! Life dosent end at 35?! Just Because of weight. I really hope karma hits him hard in the future. Im sorry but i couldnt EVER trust him again. Plz be kind to yourself and put yourself first. He thinks this helped to save marriage. He has broken everything in a marriage. He can deny all he wants.

ElegantS · 29/08/2018 08:58

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TheVanguardSix · 29/08/2018 09:10

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bethy15 · 29/08/2018 09:11

ElegantS

What is it you hoped to achieve with that post? Why be so cruel to the OP?

standbyyourmammaryglands · 29/08/2018 09:14

Fuck sake! That review is savage. What an utter bastard.

OP regardless of you got to 20 stone that fucker shouldn’t have cheated on you. Drag some self respect back and get rid!

TheVanguardSix · 29/08/2018 09:19

I’m having my post zapped since I quote ElegantS. No need to revisit her words in my post.

Newerversion · 29/08/2018 09:26

I didn’t see elegantS post and I hope the op didn’t either.
Men like your dhand my soon to be exh are weak and pathetic, op. They are also entitled and deluded.

Scifi101 · 29/08/2018 09:54

Why would a man buying sex leave a review like that?

The other reviews must be of a completely different tone!

Very strange....

TheVanguardSix · 29/08/2018 15:23

I smell a rat. The review is odd. And how did that other poster (whose post was rightly zapped) ‘find’ the review and post it for all to see (‘Livinia’s’ photo included)? Something strange with this thread, me thinks.

bethy15 · 29/08/2018 15:26

I smell a rat. The review is odd. And how did that other poster (whose post was rightly zapped) ‘find’ the review and post it for all to see (‘Livinia’s’ photo included)? Something strange with this thread, me thinks.

The page would be easy enough to find, the poster had posted his review, so I would guess if you copy that and google it, that page would come up.

The review may seem odd. I read a couple of others, they all read quite oddly, probably because the men are writing reviews on sex services and evaluating women like pieces of meat. What do you expect a normal review to be? I'm unsure what that would look like?

tickingthebox · 29/08/2018 15:28

you just google the wording and there it is....

Newerversion · 29/08/2018 15:33

You merely google the escort agency and it is right there. Sadly it isn’t half as grim as what you read on the ukpunting website- that really is the most depraved and low site full of desperately awful men.

NotTheFordType · 29/08/2018 15:36

I'm an escort. There is no way on God's green earth that those reviews were written by clients. They are fake reviews written by the agency which is almost certainly providing escorts who are not suited to the work and give a shit service.

Doesn't mean ops husband didn't see the escort in question, he most probably did, but there's no way he wrote that review. I would bet my last pack of condoms on it.

NotTheFordType · 29/08/2018 15:38

ETA: from a marketing point of view you can easily see why its written that way - to appeal to men who then assuage their guilt by saying "yes, this will save my marriage!"

(Tbf, using sex workers saves many marriages, until the bloke is gormless enough to leave evidence lying around.)

bethy15 · 29/08/2018 15:41

*ETA: from a marketing point of view you can easily see why its written that way - to appeal to men who then assuage their guilt by saying "yes, this will save my marriage!"

(Tbf, using sex workers saves many marriages, until the bloke is gormless enough to leave evidence lying around.)*

See, a lot of the reviews vary in tone, some are even negative of the woman not looking like her photo.

Perhaps the OP knew it was her husband due to the tone of his writing and turn of phrase.

I wonder how many marriages are saved in the long run. My guess is close to zero as it'll catch up to them eventually.

Newerversion · 29/08/2018 15:46

Oh please! If escorts saved marriages then men wouldn’t have to cover up using them they could be open about it. Seeing escorts never saves a marriage it just means that the marriage is built on deceit and pretence.

roundturnandtwohalfhitches · 29/08/2018 15:53

I'm not an escort and I also think that review hasn't been written by anyone's DH unless they are the owner of an escort agency.