Asking for happy endings when you felt like you'd never meet the right one

[lizzedays]

I know I have been here before with an almost identical thread but I am not coping well so hoping people will be kind.

i need some happy ending stories. not to pretend life always works out but to find the hope i used to have that drove me forward and made me take part in life fully.

i feel so broken and lost with my twenties that now i am in my thirties i feel like giving up. i wasnt different to anyone else i dont think.. just that things didnt work out for reasons that meant that we didnt want the same things at the same time.

i feel like time is running out to meet someone and build something together. i just want to settle down. are there any men out there who want that too? the dating world seems so daunting and everyone seems to into travel and work and drinking - i like all these things in moderation but my main objective is a family.

i am really lost and struggling to see a way forward. sorry for posting again.

thanks. i don't actually miss him. i just keep going over and over what i could have done differently.

i know i need to focus on the good. it is just nice to hear when people have come out stronger or have had the things they thought they never would.

i still think about the last relationship as i blame myself for things when i could have avoided an argument by not bringing things up or taking comments to heart or getting insecure.

finding someone is related to all that as i just feel so shit abut relationships i think.

I had a crappy marriage that I should have left earlier. I'm tons happier since the split. I'm seeing a guy who makes me feel good and "enough". I don't want to move it along into anything else, it's just nice to have the wild monkey sex and fun together.

blame myself for things when i could have avoided an argument by not bringing things up or taking comments to heart or getting insecure.

This is where you need some help - you're talking about ways to manage his nasty behaviour and tolerate it, something that would crush you and reduce you and make you miserable, instead of telling him to fuck the fuck off and building better boundaries. Do the Freedom Programme. Do some counselling.

Your ex's focus on appearance is a huge red flag in my view. He viewed you as an accessory rather than a real person. You reacted to the things he said because they were belittling and you were right to react. You are well rid of him.

My recommendation would be next time pick someone who thinks they are lucky to have you and do not settle for anything less.

Thanks. It is hard to see how it is abusive, all i know is i felt under pressure to be a certain way and just didnt meet the criteria. he was often nice to me too though which is why it is hard.

i cannot in a million years imagine meeting someone and having a meaningful relationship.

i am not coping well with anything, i cant see anything getting better snymore.

ive had two bad relationships in 3 years so maybe it is me. i cant imagine this getting better

We read about the worst of human behaviour on these threads, but in real life there are so many great relationships.
Self pity is so very unattractive so try to practice gratitude and you'll drop the self pity, and thus increase chances of finding your beau.

Op, if you're feeling this low, speak to your gp practice. Get some support and some counselling, and do the freedom programme.

You need some therapy rather than more of these threads. Figure out why you can't be happy on your own and deal with that.

Because you will continue to get into bad relationships as long as you continue to be so desperate and feel like your life is over if you're not with someone.

I knew lots of women single at your age. A few are still single 10 years on but happily living their lives.

thanks for the responses. i am trying hard to work on not letting this feeling of being alone define me. i think i just needed some nice stories to help me through a little, but i know i need to also be content in myself.