Found photos on my husbands laptop...

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Hello

I am writing in desperation as i really dont know where to turn to. I hope someone can help.

Yesterday I was compiling a calendar using our old photos and came across some photos from holiday a few years ago when me and my partner were engaged. I left the holiday 2 days early, so he had 2 days to himself.

In the photos (dated on the days i wasnt there) i found "creepshots" - photos of random attractive female strangers, focussing on body parts like the bum or legs. I also found photos of a dodgy massage parlour, with a photo taken of the masseuse from behind, bending over with a really short skirt on. It seems that none of these women were aware of their photos being taken.

When i confronted my husband about it, he denied all knowledge of the photos and complete shock that they were there. He said he had no idea where they came from. That his friends send him random stuff all the time. In one of the photos of the girls, i could see the signs in french - and i know the country we holidayed in spoke french.

Plus when i checked the properties of the photos, they were taken by the same model as his phone. I feel i have overwhelming evidence, but he is so strongly denying it, i dont know what to do. I have a history of antenatal depression so he is suggesting we go couples therapy - but i feel he is trying to deflect attention from what hes done.

What do you all think... is it possible that the photos were sent from his friends? If not then why is he lying to me and denying it all? I feel like i have lost trust in him completely.

Call his bluff and go to therapy with him. Explain exactly what you found to the therapist and that your partner suggested therapy because of it - she/he will see right through him.

People of both sexes have every right to go about their daily business and not be photographed for the voyeur's gratification.

These photos were taken by her H on his phone when OP had gone home early from their holiday. These images have remained on this device for this whole time until he deleted them after OP discovered them. His actions to date have remained untrustworthy and still are. He has also denied the images whilst bringing her own mental health into question as well. He using her history of ante natal depression to go to couples counselling is also truly low.

jsku I am not saying that OP should leave her DH, I don't have nearly enough information about her to make that call but she did say that DH had threatened to go to leave and go his parents unless she agreed to couples counselling.

@perfectstorm yes he has already been away twice this year and threatened to go again. I told him to go ahead but with his own earned money, not our savings. And that if he is okay with abandoning us again then to go for it, but that this time if he goes, to make sure he doesnt come back. Of course then he said he didnt want to go.

he even asked if I was okay, meaning my ante natal depression
OP has indicated in her posts that DH has insinuated that her mental health is the issue not the photographs. It may be that her mental health is impacting on the way she views this but as this thread shows there are plenty of women without ante natal depression who do not find taking the photo's, lying about it, threatening to leave unless couples counselling is started etc is okay behaviour.

You are right though OP doesn't know what is going on with her husband because he is lying, threatening and not telling her.
I personally would find this much harder to cope with than the photos. I agree with pps if he was going to tell you OP he would have. You are four weeks from giving birth focus on your DC. Try and find support for your family in RL for the next few weeks. You don't need to rush into any decision, take your time work out what is best for you.

Let’s face it, it’s all a bit coincidental if it’s ‘a friend’ just happened to have quite an unusual phone (same one) was in a French speaking place on those dates, etc . It’s just downright creepy

Would he be ok with some random perv taking an upskirt picture of you and sharing it with his mates?

OP there is a quote from my favourite author Terry Pratchett which is 'men have always found room in their religion for a bit of sinning'. This is exactly what your H thinks when he swears on his God. It's ok for me because I'm a man and I'm allowed to treat women like objects to be leered at. He is undoubtedly lying to you and trying to gaslight you into believing that he didn't do anything. Also, his behaviour with threatening you that he'll leave if you don't back down is deeply unpleasant. You and your babies deserve better.

I also think he is probably a lying creep, however... I've definitely found photos from old drunken nights out and had no memory of taking them. Were the photos taken at night? Does he have a record of getting blackout drunk? Would he have used the opportunity of being there by himself to get more drunk than you usually approve of? This could explain his memory loss.

FWIW "lads" that I have known through sport have over the years sometimes sent me grim, scatalogical, medical or somewhat bizarre things they're usually deleted immediately albeit maggot worm and cyst draining videos can be somewhat compelling in a I don't want to watch but I cant really stop way......

I can categorically say that never has any of them sent covert pictures of body parts. IMO blokes that send these things like sending the stuff that make others grimace not the creep shots which would brand them as a perve.