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Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

999 replies

CoverMeLads · 06/08/2018 19:51

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Kinunir · 09/08/2018 17:34

Maggie, nokia used to be known as ignoringthechoc in days gone by.

VetOnCall · 09/08/2018 18:14

Well I spoke to Mr Canada on the phone for an hour and a half last night which I never do! I hate the phone and usually avoid it at all costs but it was a really great and easy conversation. He's been messaging today and wants to talk again later... just a shame he's off back to Canada tomorrow! He'll be back though, not sure exactly when but he thinks in the next 6-8 weeks so that's cool. He keeps asking if I want to move to Canada but it's jokey rather than lovebomby.

Other than that hopefully meeting Mr Hotel and Mr Posh next week. Mr Brazil is super keen and such a lovely guy but no attraction for me. I'd like to see him again as friends though, he's extremely intelligent (a Postdoc theoretical physicist) and sweet. Binned off Mr Plane, he kept saying he wanted to meet then going flaky about actually making concrete plans.

Milo I agree that you would likely be way down Mr Lawyer's priority list...

Nokia keep the faith, you rule!

nokiaoldschool · 09/08/2018 18:43

Thanks Kin and Vet* this is why I love this thread :) My daughter has given me a pep talk, she is fab and has reminded me that I am beautiful and funny (ok she is also biased but I'm taking it!)
Sorry Maggie for the confusion, can't remember what happened now but I couldn't get into old account so had to use new username!

BendyLikeBeckham · 09/08/2018 19:21

vet well done for getting well and truly back on the horse!

MaggieMuggins · 09/08/2018 19:42

Ah thanks Nokia/ignoring and kin!

So POF is very full on isn't it!? Confused

First person who I messaged back wants to WhatsApp straight away - is this normal? Admittedly the app keeps failing to load and is a pain in the arse but I'm not sure I'm ready to hand out my phone number immediately!

And the second bloke who messaged sent me a racist joke as his opener!!! Shock I called him out and he said sorry he didn't know it was racist Hmm

pudding21 · 09/08/2018 20:04

maggie beware those who want to swap to whatts app straight away, In my experience its usually because they want to send dick pics (unless you want them, then go ahead knock yourself out!).

Milomonster · 09/08/2018 20:27

Thanks all. Messaged MrLawyer and told him it’s better we park things here. Feeling a bit sad as we had a lot in common - he was so down to earth, intelligent, and genuinely very nice. He’ll be a hard one to beat but I know his circumstances were not at all conducive for a relationship. The other guys have been utterly dull.

Milomonster · 09/08/2018 20:31

Maggie - I never give out phone number until after we meet (MrLawyer was the exception). 5/6 never got my number!

Also, we only messaged through the IPhone text messaging and not WhatsApp - it really cuts out any space for paranoia as you can’t see when a message has been read.

Has anyone used Elite Singles?

Pringlecat · 09/08/2018 21:30

Just spotted online: "I'm looking for a woman who is sweet, pretty and great at giving blow jobs."

Oh, and a new message (not same guy): "nice ass". No preamble.

Grim. GRIM! I've been back on OLD for less than a week and already I'm back to despairing of the entire human race.

MaggieMuggins Like pudding21 and Milomonster I don't like giving out my number either until I'm more sure they're normal human beings.

Milomonster · 09/08/2018 21:51

Oh Pringle - that’s grim indeed. Although I haven’t met anyone on Soulates I really fancy, nobody has sent any inappropriate messages. There have been a couple of weird ones but nothing like what you experienced. I think paying for a subscription cuts out a lot of crap.

Cakecrumbs · 09/08/2018 22:07

Anyone help me on how to actually get to the stage where you can get a date?
It seemed a lot more straightforward last year when I was online dating, now people just seem to keep unmatching or blocking me, a bit worried I'm committing some faux pas that I'm not aware of.
Nobody seems to ask me any questions, is this OK? How do you have a proper conversation then?

Pringlecat · 09/08/2018 22:11

Milomonster Let's find another highlight:

"Do u like the chanel handbags"

WT actual F.

I did have a look on Soulmates previously and it seemed to be all the weirdos from OKCupid but pretending to be more normal. When you've seen a less edited version of their profiles on a different site, you can't take them seriously...

Cakecrumbs Which apps/sites are you using?

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 09/08/2018 22:12

I had a new message on POF - first message off a bloke, I hadn't messaged him:

"No
Nope
Nah
Never"

I replied

"That's ok, I was thinking the same myself"

Why bother messaging someone just to tell them you're not interested? I just don't get it.

Cakecrumbs · 09/08/2018 22:21

pringle I'm on the following:
POF - get messages but from nobody I'd be remotely interested in.
Bumble - match, send message, they reply, couple more messages sometimes including them asking me out on a date then next time I look I've been unmatched
Tinder - get matches but nobody messagesConfused

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 09/08/2018 22:25

Pringle I'm aghast that a man would ask you to dress a certain way on a first date... it's bizarre.

Hope you've binned him now.

Pringlecat · 09/08/2018 22:29

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway I've found myself staring at women recently willing myself to find them sexually attractive. Sad times. I really wish I was a lesbian; it's got to be easier. Right, spurred on by you lot, I promise, I have now unmatched. NO MORE MR WEIRDO.

Cakecrumbs Bumble is a bit funny sometimes. I think because men can't message first, a lot of them just swipe right to everyone then unmatch if they don't like what they get. POF gets the most traffic, but you don't half get some strange messages. I have had some seemingly normal guys message me who haven't been my type (not a euphemism, they didn't not look attractive but didn't appeal to me).

hatty44 · 09/08/2018 22:43

Ok so I had my ‘chat’ today - he’s basically just not that in to me. I suppose I should be pleased he spoke to me rather than just ghosted and/or blocked.
I’m not surprised and deep down I do reckon it’s the right thing but it still feels like rejection. I think I was hoping he would up his game.
But at the end of the day it’s better to know rather than just hang on waiting to see if he would message each day.
Onwards and upwards ( via FWB) but I’m realising you do have to be tough in this game

Cakecrumbs · 09/08/2018 23:12

Well done hatty you are definitely worth more effort!

HalfDutchGirl · 09/08/2018 23:28

Cake I agree with Pringle Mr Guy who I had a date with on Saturday (we met through Bumble) told me that he swiped right on virtually everybody and then just waited to see who replied and then he decided whether or not he liked them!

Pringlecat · 09/08/2018 23:28

hatty44 Like Cakecrumbs says. Remember rule 7! If you don't feel like the prize, it ain't workin' out. It does briefly suck though, and I hope you bounce back quickly.

Cakecrumbs · 09/08/2018 23:41

Hmm, I don't think I like that about Bumble then, but why go as far as to ask me on a date?
I don't really know what to do, things didn't get better when I came across my most recent ex on Tinder tonight Sad, that was a painful one!

Kinunir · 10/08/2018 01:38

Some of us from the SUC have been keeping a spreadsheet on our WhatsApp group; these are my stats for the last couple of weeks of OLD:

Chatting: 4
Texting: 2
Date: 2
DTD: 1
FWB: 3
Dumped: 3

If I, an old, chubby and follicly challenged guy can get dates, all of you certainly can!

So what is holding you back?

DaffoDeffo · 10/08/2018 06:27

Last date last night. Nice guy- one of the v rare ones that was better looking in real life. I do think men my age with no kids are a non starter unless they are sure they don't want any.

All dates asked whether we would be doing second ones. I am undecided about all of them. Am chatting to a v nice guy (Mr Photo) - the most spark i have had with anyone other than bloke1 (who turned into fwb). Still a bit hung up on him - we have such incredible chemistry together.

Seeing Mr Photo on Sunday, Mr Music on Monday (but he will cancel I think), Mr Sex (2nd date) Friday then will ponder what to do next.

cake I find bumble comes in fits and starts. I have nothing for ages then I get a run of decent men. I am still getting nothing from POF. I also think men treat it like tinder and just swipe and then you message and they think I don't really want that and delete. I also sometimes match and don't send a message because of that and I know it's a bugbear of men.

DaffoDeffo · 10/08/2018 06:28

Where are my paragraphs ARGHHHH

VetOnCall · 10/08/2018 08:40

Daffo your post looks fine!

Cake I have 82 matches on Tinder who have never messaged! That's after I've gone through and unmatched a lot a few times as well. I sometimes message first but I generally prefer the man to do it (so shoot me Grin). Even a few who apparently 'superliked' me then didn't actually message when we matched. Same on Bumble, I sometimes message one who just doesn't reply, or sends a couple of very boring, lacklustre replies and nothing else.

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