Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

[CoverMeLads]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Aware that I’m just very old-fashioned. I’m still considering setting up Eighteenth Century Dating

Margo exactly: seduction. Little is left to the imagination, or given any time to really unfold, and I find OKC particularly bad for that.

I don't like all the detail about sexual preferences because it leaves nothing up to your relationship with the person. I don't sit around designing the perfect sexual experience in my head and then trying to recruit a robot to fulfill it. I want to get with a real person and work out what is fabulous when we do it together.

Really enjoying these threads,have been following since the spring and just joined up. After about 50 pof dates in four years,a few couple of month things,a year relationship which went tits up, then a few more dates,i've now met someone and it's reaching the three month mark. Do you think loads of dating people has made you fussy? I'm always looking for red flags now I've been on here.I am finding the odd one now! Dating was so much easier twenty five years ago!

Afternoon everyone.
First, vet wow!!! So excited for you. And a little jealous as Canada is my favourite place in the world.

I re-entered the world of dating a couple of weeks ago after being set up on a blind date. That didn't go well so I decided to try the usual sites again. And already I'm wishing I hadn't.

Tinder and Bumble - usual 4 or 5 matches. A couple of them replied to my initial message. Then nothing.
POF - loads of views, messages from the usual suspects who clearly message everyone. Myself and a friend went through the list of everyone aged 38-58 within 15miles. We rejected 99% as being unsuitable then messaged the rest. Not a single reply.

OKC - rejected 100% because I'd already messaged them on POF or they were unsuitable.

So now I've run out of candidates and have no idea why this doesn't work for me.
I know I could probably get dates but they would be with men that are not really my type.

user1466783975.

I was saying to my friend today that online dating especially has made people probably more likely to give up more easily because there is so much out there on offer that you might just keep thinking something better is going to turn up soon?

Dating also gets more complicated the older you get - everyone has something they are dealing with, sometimes excess baggage whether it be a crazy ex or a bad experience. Then add in the complexity of children etc.

I'm keeping the faith though, there's someone out there for everyone......

Christ I'm losing the will to keep trying.

So, geek guy wasn't married (Facebook is freaking me out because after I added his number it showed a guy with same first name from same town with same age kids who was clearly still married). Had impromptu date for him to prove it wasn't him. Next day he said there was no spark (fair enough)...7 phonecalls and 18 messages between 6am and 8.30 this morning

I attract creative types. Loadsa loadsa of them. I have actually met some wonderful people dating. About to start jamming with a band I met through online dating.

I can't find a bloody boyfriend to save my life lol but can find men who want to play music with me ;)

Still waiting to see what happens with Mr NY. I know it sounds ridiculous but our chatting is so personal now I almost want to say I will only talk like this if me and you aren't dating anyone else but that is ludicrous because we haven't met (and can't for at least 2 weeks argh!).

Hey Runs

Walter White is a no. Onward.......

Daffo where do you find these creative guys? (Please don’t say OKC )

Hello cover

Mainly bumble but also OKC. The main creative ones on bumble. Last 4 of 5 matches were either musicians or in some sort of creative industry. Tis wonderful that way as I don't bump into people like that in real life!

How things going for you? X

Ok ta. The two dates I’ve had so far have been really good for my ego, its just a shame I haven’t fancied them.
Nothing further lined up, though I’ve set my age on Bumble 40-50, so I might now need to make it 45-55. But gawd, the older the age range, the more blatant the lying about said age. I know quite a bit about facial ageing from a previous job and no way can that many guys have had that much sun damage/smoking damage/been so unlucky in the genetic lottery 🙄

POF dead, but I’m not really on the app much and I think I established last go round that one needs to be in order to get ones profile viewed.
Still refusing to pay, though.

I gave up on POF. Yes I met someone a few weeks ago who said he was 49 and was at least 5 years older..my upper limit is 57 but most are not older than 55 (yeah right!)

But gawd, the older the age range, the more blatant the lying about said age.

But what, if like me, you really do look 21?

Hi Cover and Daffo. Good to hear it's not just me that thinks many of the 50+ men are lying about their age.
I spotted someone on POF that I had one date with. He was a Tinder match and his age was 53. He's on POF with his age at 47.
He could probably get away with it as he doesn't look 53.
But I've had too many dates with men who look so, so much older when you meet them. And have really bad teeth!

Still nothing happening for me. No matches, no messages, no dates.
I'm having new photos taken this weekend by a friend who's a professional photographer. We'll see if that makes a difference.

Hi all, such exciting news @vet. Lovely to hear someone has a success story
I had to finish with Mr Geek.
We chatted about why his contact between dates was so limited and seems he just wasn’t that in to me. Bit of an ego blow but fair enough.
Resisted OLD for a bit then reopened my POF profile only for STBX to be the first to view. Inevitable we would both be on together at some point I guess.
Out with FWB tonight which is always fun and have a date with an old iron on Monday. Neither of which will go anywhere but fun to have male company and will wait to start dating proper again once kids back at school I think.

Kin if you’re late 40s and look 21, then power to you, just don’t lie about it

I know I’ll appear on even fewer searches now I’ve crossed the age Rubicon, but I’m still not going to shave a few (OK ten 😈) years off. I’m not going to start a potential relationship on a lie, but God it’s tempting just to get the traffic, or at least the traffic I’d like. POF meet me and messages are woeful at the moment and I can’t see that improving.
Maybe I should change my profile somehow, but I just don’t see how....

Runs hang in there, mate. There only needs to be one. Frustrating and lengthy as the search is

Two dates in one day is absolutely acceptable isn’t it?!

Oh I wish Cover! All I can say is thank god for Just For Men

Yes, Cat, it is - I've done it many times, from short meet and greets through to longer dates.

Totally! I’ve done it

Catmatrat I've done it..... Just be prepared with what to do if you end up liking them both. It happened to me 🤣😂

Phew 😂

Do people think it can ever work out in round 2? I saw a guy for 5 dates which started only a month after I was out of relationship. I completely messed it up by being really insecure so we ended things. It’s now two months later and we’ve arranged a date for tomorrow? Is there any hope for us? We did REALLY like each other and I’m amazed he’s even willing/keen to give it another shot as he is very much a black and white person who I’d have thought would say if it didn’t work out first time it wasn’t meant to be.

I’d love anyone’s thoughts!

catmatrat. I think that it could work especially if he is willing to give it another go.... I mean he must have understood you were fresh out of a relationship and needed time to digest all that before you leapt headfirst into something else....

I'm a great believer that everything happens for a reason so perhaps this was the way it was meant to be.

Give it a go. You never know what it might have in store for you..... Life is too short to pass up the opportunity for something great. What's the worst that can happen? It doesn't work and you chalk it up to experience...... Better that than a what if!

You’re so right!
I will absolutely give it a shot because more than once over the last couple of months I missed him and was kicking myself for how I’d acted.
We had a short but sweet conversation about it this week. He really is a lovely guy, I fancy him rotten and can’t want to see (kiss) him again. Just a tad concerned that second time around we will always be waiting for things to go wrong again and it can never be as ‘pure’ if that makes sense but got to give it a shot!!

Thanks :)

Well the only thing you can do is to keep communicating about how you feel.... Sure it's scary and leaves you feeling vulnerable but that is how you grow together in a relationship.....

One day at a time. Enjoy being in the moment and all the excitement that a new relationship brings.

Good luck x