Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

[CoverMeLads]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Definitely not you WeakAsIAm - this kind of stuff happens all the time.

I must confess I am guilty of hiding my profile from time to time too and it isn't because I loathe any of the people I'm talking to, it is because of things going on in my own life.

You have to slowly develop a thick skin and remember that none of it is real until you actually meet them in real life.

Big hug to you - it can be tough when you start out.

Hi all, hope the weekend has some wonderful dates planned!
So I'm thinking I would quite like to try and find some potential away from old, maybe coming across men in other ways. I don't really want to do bars etc as I am not a big drinker or nights out type of person. I'm pretty rubbish at most sports and my hobbies tend to be woman orientated. Maybe trying something new? Any suggestions?

margo I dumped a first/second date person because they asked too many questions about my kids. I think most men and women for that matter will not ask a lot of kid questions early on. I certainly don't and find it v weird when people do! Good luck to your ds - I also have an A level one (and a GCSEr).

2 dates this weekend - Mr Sex tonight though I have told him I am not staying at his and Mr Music (if he turns up!) later in the weekend. Last chance saloon for him. Our chat is the best by miles but as I keep saying, means sweet fa to me till we have met!

Oh dear, I have clearly expressed myself so badly in my AIBU. Anyhow, I'm a duffuss and am over-thinking, so just ignore.

Good luck with Mr Sex and Mr Music Daffo hope that one or both of them work out! Also fingers crossed for GCSEs next week. I also have that joy to look forward to if the stress of clearing hasn't killed me off beforehand.

Back from my holiday and hopefully back in the game (the fun of OLD).

So I’m still chatting to this man from the Fb group, we talk a lot (probably too much). He says he’s really shy and gets nervous meeting people, he hasn’t asked for a date as such but has mentioned meeting at a event in a few weeks. I’m trying to pluck up the courage to ask him out.

Need some advice regarding Mr Trans, for thows who haven’t read my older posts, he is a she transitioning to male, when I first started chatting to him through tinder I had no idea he was a she, he never told me, we chatted for quite a while before I worked it out (photos on his profile were taken from a distance and were not clear). We have met up 3 times and I assumed we were friends but he has started saying things that suggest he wants more than friends. We have lots in common and I have enjoyed the couple times we have met up but as friends. I don’t know how to handle it as i don’t want to lose them as a friend but I could never be in a relationship with what is really a female. I am a pretty open minded person and I get on with most people but now I’m worried that they will think I have led them on even though they were the one that disclosed their gender at the beginning.

cakecrumbs great places to meet men- the gym, football, paddle boarding or kayaking, literally they are everywhere!! i think the gym is the best bet thou

well went on the date with Mr RAF and he was nice but a bit too moany and negative about things for me. Plus he way over shared which puts me off. I just text him saying he was lovely but it wouldn't work and he thanked me for my honesty

gym guy has been texting me about xmas, i saw him at the gym and he was nice but as it's a group session it was just general chit chat/ banter.

i'm going on the best type of date tonight- seeing my best friend for some dinner!! ive not seen her in ages and i'm so excited

lovemusic you can't help how you feel but you need to be honest as you could really hurt him in the long run. i wouldn't put it like that thou, just that it's not for you

Love I think gentle honesty is the only option with Mr Trans. You haven’t done anything wrong, he’s just not for you.

1moreRep sounds like the perfect Friday night - enjoy!

i've come off bumble as i prefer writing on this thread to messaging men- this is where i'm going wrong!!

does anyone else struggle to get the distance settings to work- ive got mine at -"10 miles yet was matching with people 30 miles away

I’ll be back later for a megapost, but wish me luck with Mr Thaw. He’s been extremely quiet all day and I’ve a feeling I may get stood up. Which isn’t a problem if I do, as I’m gagging for a coffee and have a book in my bag I am more than happy to lose myself in. Plus now have 5 potential irons at varying stages of communication, and Bumble seems to be working out quite well

Rep yeah, it keeps defaulting to much further for me too. I’m like “he’s fit” and it turns out he’s in Bromley. Or Southampton. Or Mars, for all the good it’ll do me.

Spoke to soon, Mr T is still in comms.

Cover me lads, I’m going in.....

Good luck Cover

I think I’m going to reinstall tinder 😐

Fingers crossed Cover

1more how you meet people at the gym is beyond me. I just look like a sweaty mess lol. Are you younger (I'm mid/late 40s).

Getting excited to meet Mr Mountain climber tomorrow. Woke up to a text from him yesterday. We just exchanged a couple each and I text him today and had a 2 message dialogue. Glad that we haven't had lots of messaging. Got on very well on the phone with him so fingers crossed. Eek!

dafo i'm 35 yo mum of 2 but i am in good shape as it's a crossfit gym so much more of a community. it's great as they see you make up free and know what you look like naked due to clothing! Men love a sweaty make up free look

I only attract old men at the gym. Everyone seems to be wearing headphones and don’t seem very sociable at my gym.

try crossfit it will change your world (and give you abs)

Cake obvious suggestions but have you tried speed dating or Meetup?

Margo has your DS sorted something now?

Daffo You really need to tell MrMusic to do one if he welches this time! Wish I had a MrSex in my life...

Love what Facebook group is it? Is it related to an activity you can ask him to join you in? Difficult situation with MrTrans but honesty and kindness are the best bet. Do you mean he didn't disclose his sex upfront? If so then he was taking a big risk in the first place!

1more A best friend date is a wonderful thing, always a winner unlike OLD!

I've realised that I want the FWB+ situation that Kin describes above. How do I get this?! Do I update my profile and be more blunt about it? Do I switch from POF and Bumble to Tinder? Tell me about your FWBs and how they came about please, people! I really would need the F before the WB for it to work

Oops meant to add big thumbs up and good luck with MrThaw and MrMountain, Cover and Musical.
Please post updates because I have not a sniff of a date on the horizon!

I do CrossFit but there are no eligible men at mine other than the one who owns the place. They're all lovely but too old, too young, taken or really short - a strangely high proportion of them are about the same height as me (5'6-5'7). I adore CrossFit itself though, it's amazing.

Good luck with Mr Thaw Cover, I hope it's going well! And to anyone else dating tonight. I got rid of Mr Hotel after he took 2 days to read my message last weekend so nothing happening here other than talking to Mr Canada.

Love I think all you can do is let Mr Trans down nicely as you would with anyone else you weren't romantically interested in. Daffo you have more patience than me - I hope Mr Music shows up this time!

I'll post update... He's messaged me tonight with directions to where we are meeting eek.

vet glad to meet a fellow crossfitter! i find thou if i were to go to a work gym or normal gym men coe and talk to you/ chat you up. I suppose i'm most comfortable in a gym and men in normal gyms always ask me what i'm doing when i do crossfit stuff or if i'm
a trainer

So I seem to have come up with a line that's working a little bit. Are you ready? It's

"can I ask: when you're having a hotel breakfast, do you tend to go for the cooked option, or a bowl of cereal with some yoghurt?"