Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

[CoverMeLads]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

whoknows Just suggest a day and time to him. Don't waste time or mental energy waiting around to be asked.

daffo Yes. Ditch Mr Music. He is flaky and wasting your time.

#BendyWisdomoftheDay

@bendylikebeckham - my friend just suggested this! Thanks, I’ll put myself out there and ask him later 🙈

whoknows ask him now before you over think it!!!!!!

Day 3 in the house of family induced celibacy. I am starting to get a bit grumpy. 11 days to go..............

whoknows ask him!!!!!

Thanks guys - plan to message him later today as he was working very late and back in very early this morning!

I don’t want to pester him when I know he’s busy!

Can I ask a question to all the men on this thread.
I'm not body confident at all I'm not fat about a size 12 but with very small boobs which I get conscious about.
How important is a good body to most men and it is a deal breaker for some?
Do other women have this issue especially when getting naked with a new partner?

I'm not body confident at all I'm not fat about a size 12 but with very small boobs which I get conscious about.

Size 12 is thin! Different men like different things, from legs to boobs, hair colour to body shape but, if they're like me, it's only a preference, nothing more.

How important is a good body to most men and it is a deal breaker for some?

Not at all. There has to be some physical attraction, which can come in many ways, but an interesting, fun personality trumps all.

Thanks for all the replies, I don't think my ability to build chemistry has anything to do with my photos, height (I listed that) or the types of women I'm going for.

I think Kinunir has it spot on with the whole playing it safe and being overly respectful thing. I am a terrible flirt, absolutely useless at it and I guess it's the reason I am regularly friendzoned.

Any advice for improving that side of me particularly on a first date?

Any advice for improving that side of me particularly on a first date?

I'm sure you'll get lots of different opinions on this rich but mine is this:

Be yourself and communicate what you want.

If you start censoring yourself, second guessing, over thinking (I'm a bugger for that), curtailing your personality, hiding your intention, thinking women have no interest in sex (they most certainly do, typically more than men even in my experience), acting in a way that a friend does... you'll end up a friend!

Take chances, be bold, go for what you want.

If it goes tits up, the end result really is no worse than what you are experiencing now.

richdeniro I always look for lingering direct eye contact. Its very sexy. And if they check out my figure. Not talking to my boobs the whole time, but a few cheeky glances lets me know they see me sexually. Plus of course and most importantly, some flirty conversation! A bit of innuendo, lots of laughter, and a few eyebrow rises. Maybe touch their arm briefly as you talk/gesticulate. Not holding hands across the table or anything, as that is too contrived and creepy for a first date. But you can't overthink that stuff. Just do what feels natural at the time. And don't sit across a table from them. Its not a job interview. Choose a seat next to them, that always helps.

My God I'm giving away all my secrets here.

Not holding hands across the table or anything, as that is too contrived and creepy for a first date.

Ewwww - do guys really do that? I bet they're toast if they do!

user in my experience, most men like a bit of meat on the bone rather than an athletic shape. I'm a size 16 and I get loads of attention. But you will attract those men who prefer a size 12/average build, and those who don't mind what size or shape you are. That's a massive pool, which only excludes those with a penchant for really skinny or really fat women. Yes, those men are out there too.

You need to accept that you are perfect as you are, whatever size you are. Learn to love yourself first.

Wear your favourite outfit for dates to give you confidence.

And remember, that in the bedroom, when you get down to it, most men are so grateful to be getting some, you could take out your false teeth, and remove your prosthetic leg right in front of them and they would still be very happy indeed to have sex with you.

kin IKR!!! I'd laugh in their face if someone did that to me!!

But give me enough wine, and I'll hold anything in my hand...!

Oops, I'll get told off for that here

@bendy - so true

I think the body shape/size matters only in terms of your own confidence. I run a lot so have a very athletic body which even I don’t think is very attractive or ‘womanly’
I used I be embarrassed and feel unattractive, ashamed of small boobs etc and that came across I’m sure. Now I embrace it, and even use it to my advantage in some ways. No one is perfect and men like a woman who is body confident in whatever manner I believe....

Not that I’m an expert given that I’m single with no irons

Barkeep, a double for Ms Bendy please

men like a woman who is body confident in whatever manner I believe

x 1,000

Just checking in whilst on holiday (the weather is rubbish, they eye candy isn’t great).

I have been indicated with messages from a Fb singles group I am on, literally in one day I have messages from 4 different men, been asked out by 3 of them, not sure how I’m going to fit dates in when I get home as the next two weeks are quite busy.

Checked out a few Cornish locals on POF and there’s not much talent, not many good looking surfers. I’ve decided I don’t like men in wetsuits, some just look ridiculous (only seen one hot one and he was with his wife).

Now to have a read through the thread whilst I have a spare half an hour.

There are FB singles groups?? meerkat impression

user in my experience, most men like a bit of meat on the bone rather than an athletic shape

That's the total opposite of my experience which I think proves that men (people!) vary hugely in their preferences and you'll attract the ones who go for your particular body type. I'm the slim, athletic build and it varies but I tend to attract sporty, outdoorsy types which is what I also go for. Any bloke who has really big boobs on their ideal woman wish list is never going to go for me and that's fine. Nobody is going to be everybody's cup of tea.

@cover - so I wasn’t the only one to go straight into Facebook search mode!

i am a small athletic 12 with abs and 32f boobs, i seem to do alright on the sites, people often like my no make up pics in a wetsuit - avoid snap chat filters like the plague

i do think that likes attracts like- i attract outdoor and gym focussed people.

Morning all, good first date with Mr TV last night. He was easy to chat to and interesting. He's asked for another date & I've said yes! No sleepy dust or anything else dodgy stuck to his face - so that was a big plus!

ive just got a date Friday for a first coffee but seeing mr gym tonight, i really like him so i feel shady for organising the friday coffee with Mr RAF

1morerep and vet I didn't mean to disparage slim women! I'm just talking from my experience. When I started OLD I didn't expect any attention at all from young fit guys, but I have had loads. Like doesn't necessarily attract like, so I disagree with you on this. I don't fancy really overweight men, I fancy muscular or average build, yet I am overweight. I also prefer younger looks and attitude rather than that of my own age. That's not limited to actual age though. The point is also relevant to race and height. I'm short and only date taller men, for example.

Lots of young guys who spend far too much time in the gym honing their sculpted looks, appear to fancy me, an overweight older woman.

And I like hiking, the gym and outdoorsy stuff (but that isn't on my profile). Activity is not restricted to slim people! Lots of slim people like pizza and couch surfing and never venture near a park/forest/river. Everyone is different, and fancies different. We can all only speak from experience and our own knowledge.

my point, in a long winded way is, that in appearance like doesn't necessarily attract like.

Mentally, intellectually, outlook, values, humour, however....there must be commonality.