Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

[CoverMeLads]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

*And try opening with a random joke or question. The message doesnt have to be profile related.

e.g.

White wine or red? Or are you a cider girl?
Marmite on toast or cheese and crackers?
Hiking or lazing on the beach?
Bald or combover?
Fish and chips, or fine dining?
Newsnight or Love Island?*

This!!

I find I get stuck in one word/ how was your weekend convos with people who just aren't compatible so I stop replying. It's usually obvious fairly early on. With others the conversation flows well and goes off on tangents

I love it when I guy opens with something like bendy suggested above though, makes it fun

With others the conversation flows well and goes off on tangents

Tangents are my favourite thing - when you start a conversation about one topic and, three/five/seven hours later, realise you've ended up talking about a dozen other things without ever taking the original topic to its conclusion - it's been a great chat!

Cover - hey, yes it is I - reappeared after a bit of a break and a run of flaky men. Lol. I'm 35 and live in West Midlands (south of birmingham).

My new mantra is to keep expectations low and standards high...... can't go wrong with that. Looking forward to date 2 on Wednesday, again, just going to enjoy it and see how it progresses...... Always feel more relaxed on a second date anyway.

Dan The profile thing i have struggled with - tried to put enough in there to give a conversation starter and show a bit more about who I am, small bit of self depreciating humour too. I find it very hard to start a conversation with a guy if he has no bio as I have absolutley nothing to go on 🤣😂 anything is better than nothing!

dan I have the same issue just now but keep telling myself someone will pop up eventually, even if it means that I wait a few months before I even find anyone to go on a date with. There are some guys that I have been really excited by the profiles of, sent a message and got nothing back, which can feel a bit deflating when you are inundated by unsuitable candidates but obviously they decided I wasn't suitable for them and that is absolutely fine.
Just keep going but have other things to focus on too

Hello all

Following the posts daily since I said bye bye to MrLawyer. No other dates lines up from GSM. There is a rather gorgeous guy but he’s 3 hours away. I had a laugh with him telling him that his pic showed him with his fly undone. He thought it would be pixelated out....

Anyway, I joined bumble. I don’t get it. When I swipe right, it doesn’t always bring up the match/start convo window. When it does, does this mean the guy has liked you??

And when it says “50 people have liked you. Sign up blah blah blah” is that true or is it a ploy to empty your pockets?

milo yes, only men that have swiped right on you and you have swiped right on will appear.
Not sure if it is a ploy but I trust my own judgement when swiping so don't feel the need to see men that have liked me that I have already swiped left on anyway!

OOh i found you.

So i apologise in advance as I haven't got through the 1000 on the last thread yet, never mind the 300 here .

I will update and then spend some time reading through everyone else's.

I posted once on the other thread, as I dipped my toe in the water, as they say hehe and ended up having sex with more men in 2 weeks that I have in my life. Ok, it was 3 men. (married my first partner, been very single for 3 years now).

Two of those meets ups and tinder guy (who i never met, just chatted) have fizzled out. One has not. He works away for a month and a half and then returns home for a month. So he is currently away and we have chatted a lot. Like every morning i wake up to a good morning message and every night a good night one (he works shifts). He is flying in near my town in 2 weeks via home so has asked me on a proper date. Dinner and drinks. As the last time I saw him was at a get together were we ended up together.

Today, he has asked me if I am available a particular weekend, as he wants to take me away. To a really nice place. Which I have dreamed of going to but never yet been able to. (he doesn't know that I have always wanted to go there, its pure fluke). So i have agreed, he won't accept any portion in payment and is booking my flight and everything tonight. . Look he is not short of a bob so its not going to break the bank I am sure, but i am just not used to it.

So immediately into my mind pops the thought of love bombing. So i thought about it, and decided that I can't just keep pushing people away if they want to do things for me and that I should just accept it for what it is, a nice weekend away with him, a break from being a single mum for a weekend, and being just a little bit spoiled. Then if I feel uncomfortable at any point, I will just say. I realise I am not 18 anymore and am happy to have a say and hopefully I can see things clearer now after going through a difficult marriage, divorce, being a 100% single mum etc... a bit more life experience.

He is divorced around the same amount of time as I am, and from what I can make out, has kept himself to himself and just ploughed into work since then.

So feel free to give me your opinions of the weekend. Am i overthinking this? As i do that. In abundance

Just do it highlighta. Nothing to lose as far as I can see

Oh for fucking fucks sake. Mr Thaw doesn’t drive. That’s the 5th guy in the 10 days I’ve been online. Am I giving off sone weird pheromones or something????

Still tempted to go on a date if he asks though. Bad me. As I’ve said no to the HF date.

highlighta if you like him and you've enjoyed the time you spent with him so far, why not. If it all goes tits up you can sort out your own return home.

Cover surely that is not possible to meet so many men that don't drive!!!!! It's a massive no no for me, as I don't live in a big city (just outside one) so a car is a necessity to get anywhere. The thought of having to endlessly drive to places that they can do would really grate on me - but I'm possibly looking at it from a very selfish perspective.

Looking forward to date tonight with Mr TV. He has done nothing so far to irritate on OLD or WhatsApp, so fingers crossed he might be a good one!

hello all,

so surprise surprise the fireman has not yet put the money he borrowed in my account ~ seriously who invites you out and then asks to borrow £30 for drinks money 🤦‍♀️ he was so perfect apart from that but i can't be with someone who is not financially viable. Need to keep talking to him until he pays me back thou.

guy from gym i dated a while ago and over invested and scared off has been texting and wants to see me again. i find it so confusing. i really like him and believed he liked me but now i just don't know what to think.

Then there's married friend i used to work wit sniffing about who if he was single and trustworthy would be perfect but obviously he is not. o find it depressing that he texts me as a friend really great stuff then it goes along the "i really can't get you out of my head" - ive had to end the friendship as he clearly sees me a an empty parking space that needs filling

other work friend told me he was single - i know he's lying, really angers me! So at least with dating aps they are more likely to be single??

Thanks Daffo and Margo, don't know why I wanted to run it past someone, i think just incase there is some blaringly obvious thing I missed, there i go with the overthinking again. I am quite nervous really. I haven't been a date for over 30 years. . At least I know him already though, which makes a difference.

Cover, 5 out of 10 guys that don't drive?? I honestly cannot say I have come across one, where you live must have a great bus or train system hehe.

1more, i haven't caught up yet. He took you on a date and loaned money? Know what you mean about the married guys though, better off to just cut him off right away, no good can come of it.

I cannot believe that a man would take a woman to a pub and not have any cash in his wallet!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So if I wanted a send a "salt and vinegar crisps or pickled onion monster munch?" - style message, do I need to send a preamble, or just go straight in with that?

it was like our 6th date, but why invite me out?!? he was so lovely and he will pay me back but he knows i'm
not loaded either! Anyway, gym guy is being uber nice but i hope he wants something substantial and not flaky!

i get approached a bit in my instagram and i'm considering answeing a dm on their as i literally find the apps so soul destroying

Dan- just go straight in with that

Mr Thaw is go. I repeat, Mr Thaw is go.

Back with a mega post, shortly. Just for you Vet my sweet 😘 though I fear our plans to run off together might have just suffered a setback....😈

Dammit! Has he just passed his driving test this afternoon?! No driving/no car is a deal breaker for me too, despite poor Mr Brazil's offer to learn for me.

Nah, a) he lives about ten mins away b) he’s been learning and c) he’s so PURTY 😍

Will cross that particular (foot)bridge if there’s a spark. Which of course there won’t be. Because that would just be too bloody easy, wouldn’t it?

You can all laugh now but Mr Music has asked to set up another date. He is honestly the longest running comedian of the dating world. This will be date FOUR! FOUR! And he cancelled the first 3...You can only laugh...

Suddenly got 2 matches on bumble having had nothing for many days. Both are what I would call mild possibilities. Haven't heard from Mr Sex (Friday's date) for days so not sure what is happening there. He is my only second date.

Other guy, Mr North, who I like and would do a second date with, I won't contact till back from camping but hopefully he'll hang around for me! Both of us are not big on messaging till it's a 'thing' so it's a bit of a Mexican stand off in the meantime.

Not sure what to call the new bumble two but both said I look very naughty (!) - I'm not but that probably means they are going to be dick pic blokes. NEXT!

Call them Mr Kenneth and Mr Williams, Daffo As Vet said “naughty” is such a boak-inducing word from a stranger.

You have the patience of a saint Daffo - I've only ever had one person cancel on me and that was just the once. I wouldn't ever entertain someone who did it twice, let alone three times!!!!

YES dan! Just do it.

Cut and paste it into 500 first messages too!

Sigh, getting frustrated with Bumble. Why swipe me if you can’t be bothered to answer my message. I’ve had a few chats but nothing very mind blowing but this site doesn’t feel as great as I’d hoped