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Original poster

Dating Thread 138: Hotter Than July

999 replies

CoverMeLads · 06/08/2018 19:51

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11.Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Original poster
CoverMeLads · 13/08/2018 21:18

Oh FFS

OP posts:
Kinunir · 13/08/2018 21:42

All that typing is worth 12p of my money, especially as I am optimistic on the champagne front Smile.

MargoLovebutter · 13/08/2018 21:52

Oh Cover not sure why but your post cheered me up no end - thank you.

I have date tomorrow evening with Mr TV. The last date had a large piece of sleepy dust stuck under his eye / cheek for our entire date, which made me sigh inwardly for the duration- so I’m hoping - for no sleepy dust tomorrow! Wink

DaffoDeffo · 13/08/2018 21:52

yes god they need an edit function

I have joined OKCupid. And accidentally clicked like on someone who is super kinky and can't figure out how to unlike. I am now getting asked a lot of questions in the question bit about how kinky I am. Oh dear.

the tent isolation can't come quick enough

am off POF and feel relieved. I found that site thoroughly depressing.

MaggieMuggins · 13/08/2018 21:52

Top inclusive-thread-maintenance Cover Smile

And top marks to me, I now have another first date on Thursday! After work quick drink with MrMarathon. Go me. He lives a few streets away from me which could be interesting...

Original poster
CoverMeLads · 13/08/2018 22:01

Maggie it won’t need a...snurkle MARATHON for him to get round to yours, then....

Deffo let us know how you go. I felt the other way round: the relentless sexual undercurrent at OKC was exhausting to me. And I am in NO way shape or form vanilla; I just do not want a potential date knowing how I feel about threesomes and anal before the coffee machine has even been plugged in (ahem, bad analogy)

Margo YW. Your sort of namesake is my heroine. I am so very close to a kaftan these days.

OP posts:
DaffoDeffo · 13/08/2018 22:23

OKCupid is confusing. Not quite sure how to use it. I just happened to click on double take and I see someone has sent me a message but I don't know why it didn't appear in my messages. It is a very odd site!

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 13/08/2018 22:24

I seem to attract balding farmers, or illiterate men.

Mr Punch Emoji messaged me again after threatening me with multiple punch emojis for not giving him my number. I ignored him.

The one I was holding out hope for... Mr Big Dog, who has the same breed of dog as me... hasn't messaged back after the first few messages. Shame, because our dogs are very similar and we'd have that in common at least!

Ok... so I need your opinion on this one.

Mr Cyclist - we've been messaging on and off for a couple of weeks. He's nice. Normal. Polite. Trouble is - firstly - He lives in Glasgow, while I live in Wales. I'm not too worried about that because I travel to Scotland loads with work, so I could do a few cheeky hook ups quite happily. But the thing that makes me really reticent is there isn't a clear photo of his face on his profile. There are 2 pics of him, one on his bicycle (he has a fit body) and one of him skiing with goggles on.

How do you persuade them to show their face? What if he's really ugly after all this time messaging?

DaffoDeffo · 13/08/2018 22:26

you can't even see messages you've sent! And I didn't like the person before I sent the message so now I have lost their profile. What a very weird way of doing things...!

Mumteedum · 13/08/2018 22:27

Daffo it is weird. Messages only appear in your inbox when you've liked each other and you've responded to a message or vice versa. . But if you message someone, they make sure that person shows up in your searches or double take.

It is weird though. You can't see favourites either unless you pay for it. I wouldn't pay for okcupid. Dismal choice here.

DaffoDeffo · 13/08/2018 22:27

cold just ask him. I always ask if there isn't a clear photo. I just say I can't really get a feel of what you look like from your pics, would you mind sending me one. No-one has ever said no.

MaggieMuggins · 13/08/2018 22:31

Cold you should definitely ask him - it's a long way to commit to a date if he isn't attractive to you.

I've just been unmatched on Bumble. I'm baffled, we were getting on like a house on fire and I was just about to message and ask him out but...vanished... I know it's not real til it is taken offline but it all seemed to be going in the right direction. How gutting.

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 13/08/2018 22:47

I asked him right in the beginning - and he said he could email me a pic if I wanted. I said no - because I was afraid of getting a dick pic or something.

I'll need to ask him again... but then what do I do if he sends a pic and I don't fancy him, I'll feel bad!!!!

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 13/08/2018 22:48

Maggie sorry to hear that... weird when they just drop off like that isn't it. Perhaps he has met someone he likes and deactivated his account...?

Cakecrumbs · 13/08/2018 23:05

maggie that has happened to me quite a few times on Bumble, even with some that have asked me out on dates, arranged a date, them stating how much they're looking forward to the date then, gone! Baffling...

VetOnCall · 13/08/2018 23:13

vet how did you feel seeing MrDM on Tinder

Sorry, mad day and just catching up... Cake I was a bit surprised and a bit 'you twunt!' but not gutted or anything so I guess that's good! The photos he used don't actually look like him any more - more weight and less hair - so I hope he gets a load of first dates and then gets ditched by them all. Karma Grin

Cover I bloody love you and your epic posts. I can't wait until we fuck all this shit off and run away together Wink Obvs hope Mr Thaw is actually The One(TM) though.

Daffo you're similar to me I think. I've never snogged anyone on a first date. Actually no, I did once, last year, but we'd been talking for several months by the time we met (I'd been away backpacking) and things had built up ridiculously by the time I got back and we actually met. I usually know straight away if it's a no but likewise it takes me a few dates to decide if it's a yes and I fancy them. I just can't get touchy feely with or kiss a total stranger.

Still on with Mr Posh for Wednesday so far, and Mr Canada back to normal messaging as of today. He went on a fishing trip somewhere in the Canadian wilds Saturday and Sunday so had no phone signal. I like him a lot which is concerning given that we haven't met. Slaps self must not overinvest via messages and phone calls; that way madness and disaster lies (again).

wishywashy6 · 14/08/2018 00:16

I asked him right in the beginning - and he said he could email me a pic if I wanted. I said no - because I was afraid of getting a dick pic or something.

I'd ask him for one before you meet him, sounds like a long way to travel for an ugly mug!
Dick pics are nothing to be feared, learn to laugh at them! Grin

wishywashy6 · 14/08/2018 00:26

I've been doing it wrong..we've been meeting up for meals! I paid for the one yesterday as he paid the first. At least we balanced out I guess. So basically the protocol is coffee date first?

I think this depends on how much you feel there maybe to talk about/ what connection is there. I try and get a vibe through messaging first and if that's not possible I'd say just drinks or coffee

With Mr 24 though we'd laughed and chatted so much over messages we went straight in and went out to dinner. Reached the end of the night and we looked around and realised everyone had left and they were trying to close we'd just been so engrossed in conversation that we hadn't noticed. I went into that date feeling that would be the case though which I'd say isn't the norm based on my limited experience!

Musicaltheatremum · 14/08/2018 05:29

Re silver singles. I met one guy on there although he was actually on another dating site which shared its details with silver singles. Nothing else though from that site so I'll let it expire in 6 months.

MaggieMuggins · 14/08/2018 07:13

Cake bloody hell that's much worse! Ah well, if he's met someone then good on him, if he's got cold feet then his loss and if he's been blocked by the site then I've dodged a bullet, so it's all good in the end Grin

Dan89 · 14/08/2018 07:34

I'm starting to feel a bit fed up with this again. My latest gripes:

  1. So many girls have the same things in their profile (if they can be bothered to write one), that it becomes a slog trying to think of anything to say to them "really? You like spending time with friends and going on holiday as well? We have so much in common!"
  1. Of the girls I have spoken to, they are all pretty terrible at keeping conversations going. One word answers (even if they started the conversation), no questions of their own, or bog-standard asking about my weekend.

Come on ladies, you complain about the men on OLD, but you have to do your bit...

Kinunir · 14/08/2018 07:44

That's just part and parcel of OLD Dan. One way to distinguish yourself from the crowd is to not be yet another person with gripes. Stay positive and upbeat and good things will come your way.

Dan89 · 14/08/2018 07:46

Ok Kin, and your advice has definitely helped, but it can feel just so boring going through the same rigmarole to either not get a reply, or a conversation that goes nowhere...

BendyLikeBeckham · 14/08/2018 07:49

Dan those women clearly aren't ccompatible with you if they can't hold a conversation. Don't sweat it. Move on to others.

And try opening with a random joke or question. The message doesnt have to be profile related.

e.g.

White wine or red? Or are you a cider girl?
Marmite on toast or cheese and crackers?
Hiking or lazing on the beach?
Bald or combover?
Fish and chips, or fine dining?
Newsnight or Love Island?

I'm sure you can think of much better!

It's just an ice breaker to start up a convo.

Kinunir · 14/08/2018 08:02

1. So many girls have the same things in their profile (if they can be bothered to write one), that it becomes a slog trying to think of anything to say to them "really? You like spending time with friends and going on holiday as well? We have so much in common!"

If you think they are super boring then just pass them by. Short, bland, profiles do nothing for me and say much about the person who wrote them. Longer ones may just suggest a lack of creativity on their part, so get creative yourself with your messages - jokes and questions, as Bendy suggests.

2. Of the girls I have spoken to, they are all pretty terrible at keeping conversations going. One word answers (even if they started the conversation), no questions of their own, or bog-standard asking about my weekend.

If you're a conversationalist and they are not then you are incompatible. Move on and don't waste time trying to prise blood out of a stone that isn't appealing to you in the first place.