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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

My boyfriend has blocked my number...

143 replies

gaynor83 · 06/08/2018 16:11

We’ve been together since Christmas. Had a lot of ups and downs since then, mainly because he has some issues, mentally and with drugs. Every time he takes drugs he becomes really paranoid and accuses me of cheating.
Yet he is the one who stays out all night sometimes and he’s “waved” at his ex on Facebook, as well as deleting messages from her and another girl on there. He says he does these things to get my attention..hmm.
He’s blocked my number before and he knows it really upsets and it makes me run after him.
He lost his driving licence recently and I know it’s depressed him. I’ve been trying to cheer him up and was going to drive us on a day out yesterday. He wouldn’t get out of bed and said he couldn’t be bothered. So I left him there and went out by myself. Whilst I was out he rang and I was eating so didn’t answer. When I rang him back he had blocked me.
So I drove to his house to see him and he didn’t say sorry or anything, so I left. He says he loves me but why would he behave like this?
I had a big thing happening today too and he didn’t even text to wish me luck. Feel miserable about it all.

OP posts:

Rach000 · 07/08/2018 11:51

The drugs sound like a massive problem. He is mentally not well and very paranoid. I would just leave it, he has already blocked you so don't bother getting in touch again. He wont change anytime soon and it will probably get worse.

SandyY2K · 07/08/2018 12:54

You're wasting your time with this man. He's immature and not worth the headache.

hellsbellsmelons · 07/08/2018 13:04

mental health problems are not his fault
Well if he's been taking drugs for years then, yes, his MH problems could totally be his own fault.

Don’t think I will ever bother with another relationship, it always ends the same
That's because you keep picking the same type of people.
You are a rescuer and while you remain one, you will keep attaching yourself to losers.

The Freedom Programme run by Womens Aid might be a good thing for your to do.
Spot the red flags sooner. Set boundaries. Don't let people overstep them.

Branleuse · 07/08/2018 13:37

i was going to say wow, that sounds really tedious, but after updates its actually worse, its abusive. He wont change. They never do.

MrsB899 · 07/08/2018 13:44

Ive been in your situation. A guy who done drugs, would manipulate me to get his own way. Behaved like an immature child. Walking away was the hardest yet BEST thing I ever done. We live in the same town, I'm now happily married, he's still the same drug taking immature idiot, living at home with his mummy, proof he would have never changed. It'll be hard at first but when you look back you'll be so glad you left and you'll realise he never really loved you. Welcome to message me if you need to talk @gaynor83

SuperSkyRocketing · 07/08/2018 14:17

Is this the same man you posted about because he was ignoring you in January when you'd only been with him since Christmas?

You got all the same advice then but you're still with him. He keeps treating you in the same way but you keep giving him the benefit of the doubt. I think you need to be really honest with yourself about why you're staying with him and letting him treat you like this. You don't own a house together or have kids with him so you really need to find the strength and confidence to dump him and for him to stay dumped. No one deserves to be treated like that.

My guess is that he doesn't think he's in a relationship with you, it sounds like you're just someone he picks up and puts down when he feels like it and he'll be doing the same to a bunch of other women, so when he's ignoring you, he's with someone else.

sunflowersinthesky · 07/08/2018 14:47

Yes, he is hurting you on purpose, and no, you have not done anything wrong.

He is doing it because he enjoys it.

Please OP, for crying out loud, listen to everyone on this thread and dump the bastard.

RedPanda2 · 07/08/2018 16:42

OP, your previous posts are all about men that you haven't got over or about this idiot.
Please please look into therapy. There's a reason you become attached very quickly and want to save people, and it'll do you no favours in the long run. This man doesn't care about you.

flopsyrabbit1 · 07/08/2018 17:58

oh stop it op you are addicted to the drama

your 35 and sound very imature i hope you dont have children as this relationship is not good and will effect them

your go back to him im sure and the cycle will then repeat

MadMags · 07/08/2018 18:12

Oh for fuck sake! I remember this poster now.

flopsyrabbit1 · 07/08/2018 18:27

oh god god op your relationship history is to say the least

If i was you id be on my own for a good while,your history to be blunt relationship wise is carnage and thats being kind

dont waste these good people's time with this as you dont take advice and have been posting about this guy since it started

you sound like you want attention,this is not how to get it

HollowTalk · 07/08/2018 18:28

Ted Bundy was goodlooking. It doesn't mean you'd want to date him, does it?

Notevilstepmother · 07/08/2018 18:36

Accusing you of cheating when you’ve done nothing is also abuse and controlling where you go will be next.

Blocking your phone to upset you, emotional abuse

Just LTB.

When you do, he will suddenly become nice to you. Don’t let him fool you. He will think you are playing games because that’s what he does.

Be strong and get out.

Nofunkingworriesmate · 08/08/2018 08:05

Get safe or I could be reading about you on the news.

BMW6 · 08/08/2018 08:51

Maybe your relationships all go the same way because you are in effect dating the same man and treading the same path with them over and over again?
Sounds like you have a "type" that you are attracted to, and really piss poor self esteem.

I think you should invest in some therapy to find out why you keep on picking such poor specimens and how to make much better choices in the future.

Bechetdiagnosed · 08/08/2018 08:54

I had a glance at your history. You’ve written threads about this twat of a man several times.

I’m not going to give you “advice” as frankly, you haven’t acted on it previously despite several threads and hundreds of replies.

The only thing I’ll say it that is appalls me that you have continued in this relationship. If you were a friend of mine I would have had to walk away for you by now. Watching your demise is sad and frustrating.

PamsterWheel · 08/08/2018 10:18

'Feel like I've done something wrong'

Not your fault. You're looking to yourself as the problem so that you can fix the situation. If only I could change/not do this/that/be less me/be more like so and so/react differently/change myself etc he wouldn't be like this. He would!

He's not the man for you.

SparklyMagpie · 08/08/2018 12:51

The only thing you've done wrong OP Is the fact you're still with him

But I doubt you'll leave

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