My boyfriend has blocked my number...

[gaynor83]

We’ve been together since Christmas. Had a lot of ups and downs since then, mainly because he has some issues, mentally and with drugs. Every time he takes drugs he becomes really paranoid and accuses me of cheating.
Yet he is the one who stays out all night sometimes and he’s “waved” at his ex on Facebook, as well as deleting messages from her and another girl on there. He says he does these things to get my attention..hmm.
He’s blocked my number before and he knows it really upsets and it makes me run after him.
He lost his driving licence recently and I know it’s depressed him. I’ve been trying to cheer him up and was going to drive us on a day out yesterday. He wouldn’t get out of bed and said he couldn’t be bothered. So I left him there and went out by myself. Whilst I was out he rang and I was eating so didn’t answer. When I rang him back he had blocked me.
So I drove to his house to see him and he didn’t say sorry or anything, so I left. He says he loves me but why would he behave like this?
I had a big thing happening today too and he didn’t even text to wish me luck. Feel miserable about it all.

He sounds awful, you've been together eight months and have had this much hassle all ready? Cut and run, find somebody better.

So he blocks you on his phone, drives like a pillock and gets banned, takes drugs, stays out. I can see the attraction - he sounds like a prize catch.

Please employ sarcasm button when reading the above. WTF are you doing with a twat like him in the first place?

We’re both 35..I’m old enough to know better and he’s maybe too old to change. I hate to have to agree with all of you. I guess I just want to see some good in the situation and him. He’s always telling me how much he loves me I just want to believe it. The drugs are the main issue I think, he’s got a big problem and doesn’t seem to want help. It just has a massive knock on effect on everything. I like to be independent and he doesn’t seem to like it when I am, like going out without him. All I did was go to a local market for a few hours.

mental health problems are not his fault. Everything else is.

come on - 3.5 billion other fish. Raise your standards. He'll only see you as an easy lay and a source of cash, the drugs will come first. He doesn't sound a good use of oxygen even without all that.

and, I'm afraid, get a sexual health check. Drug users are not a good choice of sex partner. He's also a danger to you in other ways so dump and make sure locks are changed.

Is this the life you saw for yourself at 35?

Get rid, unless you want years of back and forth with this loser who cant even look after his own life, never mind have time to consider you. whatever you do make sure your contraception is rock solid because this loser will never step up to the plate to be a partner or father.
You also need to try and understand why you think this pathetic arse of a man is the best you can do, or why you feel the need to rescue him like some modern day Mother Theresa. This is not a healthy or normal relationship.

He lost his driving licence recently

What offence/offences did he commit to have his licence revoked?

The lesson I hope you have realised is.. too much drama.. move on. Block him and never ever go back.

There are plenty of other good looking, intelligent and loving blokes out there who don't display such dickish, childish behaviour - chuck him and move on!

What drugs is he using?

I'd rather a relationship with a sex doll than this druggie.

Are your standards really that low to go chasing after a drugged up man child?

He probably does love you, in his own way. But that doesn't change the fact that he's completely unable or unwilling to act like a grown up. And you're both old enough that it's ridiculous. If he has a drug problem, believe me, things won't change unless he fixes that first. And until he does, he will ALWAYS be the victim. Nothing will ever be his fault and you will always be blamed for bad things happening to him, his bad mood etc. It's not worth it for a relationship of just 7 months.

Things should be relatively easy in the beginning. If they're not easy now, how on earth are you ever going to make it when dc, families, money worries, etc start to rear their heads?

A few months in to this relationship and it’s this much hard work already? Absolute waste of time. Get rid.

Do you really think this is the best you can do, OP? You think this guy is the best man you can meet and fall in love with? Honestly?

Because it so, I suggest you seek counselling.

He takes drugs. For that alone you should sack this loser, never mind all the rest.

Really, being single would be a million times better than being shackled to this waste of space. Do yourself a favour and get rid!

Ignore, block, delete as advised by hellsbells upthread.

If this is his idea of love, I dread to think what the future might hold. Get rid.

The bloke takes drugs. He's lost his licence (drinking? Drugs?).He doesn't work, he doesn't get in touch with you. He sounds worth being upset over..... do you really value yourself so low?

Where oh where did you find this prince among men?

Do me a favour. Scrape the bottom of your shoe, roll whatever you get into a ball, stick some googly eyes on it.

That right there? Better boyfriend than your boyfriend.

Also, I hope your “big thing” went well.

The most positive thing in your post is that you have only wasted seven months and a week of your whole life on this loser.

time to cut your losses and find someone who appreciates a kind and thoughtful partner, you deserve better than this sulky druggy man child.

He’s done you a favour by blocking you. Run for the hills and don’t look back. The guy sounds like an emotionally abusive dick and when, not if because we all know he will, gets back in touch a swift “ goodnight and goodbye “ is very effective

Good grief, from your opening post I thought he was around 20.

Stay with him, if you want a miserable life.

Simple as that.

”I suppose it’s cos he is loving when things are going well”

@gaynor83 - it is easy to be loving when things are going well. A decent person will be as loving during the tough times.

Dh did not get a bargain, when he got me. I have depression, anxiety, low self esteem, and serious weight issues, all of which make me difficult to live with and to love (I don’t love me, so why would anyone else?), but dh has never stopped loving me, even during my worst points.

He is not perfect - he has his faults, but I know he will be there for me.

You deserve a man like this, not an immature drug user who isn’t manipulative and emotionally abusive (I think that blocking you when he feels you have pissed him off is a form of emotional abuse).

You must be really, really immature yourself as you clearly enjoy the drama of it all. Seriously? You immediately go off to 'chase him' when he blocks you, reacts when he 'waves' at another girl, etc.

Grow up already. Decide you deserve better. Someone who doesn't do drugs and deliberately mess with you head so you'll chase them and make them feel big and important.