Hi All
I am so bloody depressed..I’m 35, married to husband for five years. When we met I was a student nurse. He had had a motorbike accident and I helped nurse him back to health. He still has some issues but leads a more or less normal life. After we’d been married a couple of years he got a compensation payout (we are talking millions) and he put it all in a protected trust for himself. He bought our house in the trusts name and when we have an argument he tells me to get out of ‘his house’. He moans like crazy/sulks if I go out to work (he says I’m worried I will meet someone else and leave him even though I reassure him etc). So I forfeited my nurse training because of his constant pressure to stop at home with him- I also started developing depression. Long story short I’ve wanted a job for a while now but he’s dead against it (in the past he’s sabotaged my efforts of working like altering my alarm clock, telling me that I should be happy staying at home etc). My confidence is at rock bottom but I thought a little part time job might help me. He gives me ‘housekeeping’ money each month but I pay for everything, including holidays so there’s hardly anything left over. Ironically I spent all last week decorating and I suddenly thought ‘I’m spending what little money I have on paint/materials and working to decorate my husbands house. Next I’ve got the garden/cleaning to do..am I a skivvy?’ So I’ve told him I’m going to get myself a part time job. His response? Ok but you need to start paying towards the bills. Problem is, we live in a huge house- the council tax alone is £300 a month so I’m going to be effectively working for nothing. There’s no financial incentive to go out to work and my husband is going to be moody/play mind games. Am I being unreasonable thinking that it’s unfair to make me pay towards the bills? It’s just he tells me it’s his house and he’s got over 7 million....I’m so confused!! Help!