Catlady and Mini: Our new beginning (Support Thread)

[CatLadyToddlerMother]

Previous thread here from AIBU

Told to start new thread over here for support. TL:DR as previous thread is almost full: On 4th March this year my husband attacked me and threatened to kill me in front of our then 2 year old. I spent 10 days living on my mums sofa. Am now back in the flat we shared but planning to move soon on the request of my lovely over involved Social Worker. DD is now 3 and despite a few developmental issues is coming on in leaps and bounds. We also have a cat who is fussy, selfish and snobby lovely.

Mini and the cat have been the only things keeping me going sometimes, I've been so down even though everyone thinks I'm doing ok, sometimes I wonder if I'm too good at hiding it and I actually am loosing my mind.

Will post all updates here from now on.

Little monster just opened all the wrapped presents. Nothing was safe including the ones I’d wrapped for my friends and had left in bags with labels on!

Thankfully her Santa presents are at my mums or I’d be hurriedly finding more stuff for her!

Not sure whether to laugh or cry. I only turned my back for a few minutes to feed the cat!

You sound like your doing amazing given the circumstances and on your own. I massively struggled when DD's behaviour was at its worst even with a supportive husband.

Might have cried my way through Minis play!

They didn’t tell me she had a line to say. She couldn’t quite say it all but she did her best and I got it on video to show the SALT as well.

ExH didn’t turn up, neither did any member of his family. Which surprised me as I thought he’d go to get a reaction.

I am surprised as he made such a fuss about it a few weeks ago. But also not surprised he couldn’t be bothered when it came down to it.

He only made a fuss to be difficult. His not bothering to turn up (and neither did either of his parents) shows the SW that he's not bothered about Mini.

It's all about control.

Yep, he's all about keeping you guessing and uncertain. He just wants you out of balance, then he thinks all he has to do is talk about your MH and he'll have you where he wants you. He is so wrong isn't he You prove how wrong he is every day.

I can well believe tears being shed at your lovely Mini's debut! And the presents? How lovely that she is so confident that she knows she canbe naughty and you'll still love her. What a gorgeous child you are makng her

As long as tonight isn't used as evidence of my parenting.

Mini in bed early (5.30pm as opposed to 6.45pm) and I've slowly been drinking my way through a bottle of wine. I needed to unwind a bit as I've been so stressed and it is Christmas.

As long as I get up at 6.45am to do the Nursery run I'll be fine!

Honestly? You could literally drink every damn day of the week and as long as you still did everything you needed to no one could say a dickie bird about it

I don't usually drink and when I do I don't usually drink that much but needed it, slight hangover but Mini was at Nursery in time for breakfast so no-ones going to bad an eyelid I don't think.

Look what Mini made at Nursery today . It's a proper ceramic one as well

It's OK, there's not a switch which automatically jumps to 'teetotal' when you give birth! Even mummies have a few drinks now and then. You're allowed.

Wow! Clever little thing! Love it ♥️

I have one too catlady I’m very proud of mine and it has far less paint and effort than mini’s!

Clever little lass! Great colour choices. And her father doesn't get to touch that one .

I have whispered "For Fucks Sake" under my breath at least 30 times today.

So much for Mini being ready for nighttime potty training. I left her in pants this morning and she's soiled herself. It's really loose as it's always been, she showed no indication that she needed to go. My flat now stinks because she took her trousers off and kicked them around the kitchen. And it was bad I've had to hand wash her trousers in the bath before they go in the wash.

I've taken photos but assume the SW will say she just "needs to learn"

Yeahhhhhh good luck to the social worker with that. Think you might need to print off some bits about the night time hormone production to show her. She physically isnt ready to night time potty train

I’ve been following this for many months now - firstly you should be SO proud of yourself. You’re amazing.

Potty training- I’ve got no idea why SW is being so insistent. My 3 year old is not interested in potty training and certainly not at night. It’s not even expected by now. She’s nuts.

How to distract yourself while your child’s at contact?

Get your mum to collect a new dolls house for her and spend the time setting it up. Can’t wait to see her face when she sees it, it’s twice the size of her old one and she loved that.

Dolls' house!!! OH YEAH!!!!

He’s gone back and is liking photos of the 3 of us (me, him and Mini) from 2017/2016, what’s he doing?

Being a manipulative knob?

Whatever he's doing, no reaction from me.

Mini loves the dolls house. So want to post a photo but what she's wearing would identify her to Ex-MIL/her family if they're on here.

Panicking as he realised he should have turned up for the show.

Panicking as he realised he should have turned up for the show.

He didn't seem bothered when I told him although he might not be reacting to me. Can't wait to bring it up in court when he does his sob story of how much he cares about her, as if he can't even bothered to celebrate the good things she does (i.e. go to her plays etc) then he clearly doesn't care as much as he says and obviously doesn't want to do the bad bits (i.e. appointments)

Quite right.