Catlady and Mini: Our new beginning (Support Thread)

[CatLadyToddlerMother]

Previous thread here from AIBU

Told to start new thread over here for support. TL:DR as previous thread is almost full: On 4th March this year my husband attacked me and threatened to kill me in front of our then 2 year old. I spent 10 days living on my mums sofa. Am now back in the flat we shared but planning to move soon on the request of my lovely over involved Social Worker. DD is now 3 and despite a few developmental issues is coming on in leaps and bounds. We also have a cat who is fussy, selfish and snobby lovely.

Mini and the cat have been the only things keeping me going sometimes, I've been so down even though everyone thinks I'm doing ok, sometimes I wonder if I'm too good at hiding it and I actually am loosing my mind.

Will post all updates here from now on.

My dd is 7 and still in pull ups at night. My auntie was wet at night until she was 11. She’s an highly professional woman in her fifties now. It didn’t impede her ability to succeed in life.

You know mini best and tbh only a matter attempts day and night training at the same time.

Martyr not matter

Also being criticised for Mini still being in nappies at night, apparently that's not helping her daytime training at all, this is according to the specialist HV Well that HV needs some more up to date training. It can take up to 8 yrs before some children know they need to go to the toilet at night. It's to do with a hormone and children get this at different ages.

FWIW DD2 was dry during the day from 18mths / 2yrs but wet at night until she was about 5/6 yrs as she was in reception class when she was finally completely dry, on the other hand DS was dry at night from 18mths and only dry during the day when he was 3.

Doctor don't even worry about until the child much older then Mini.

Mini also has Global Developmental Delay which means she can take much longer than other children to grasp things. She’s been potty training 6 weeks already and is getting there but still uses 3-4 nappies a day on non nursery days

You are an amazing woman

Mini's bauble arrived this morning.

It's absolutely beautiful. I cried seeing it. It marks the start of our new life together. Super happy with it and even better it's Mini's favourite colour.

Both my completely NT DDs were dry by 2.5 but not dry at night until 4. The specialist HV is talking nonsense.

Chipped tooth was caused by a crack which I'd had for awhile as I refused to get it filled at my last appointment and could well have caused the severe headache the other day...feel a bit stupid now

"Dear CatLady,
Sorry for the delay in getting back to you. Just to let you know Mr Toddler's solicitor has informed me that he is now working on 26th December and as his mother is working 24th he will be unable to have MinLady over Christmas, he would however like her New Years Day if this is ok with you"

Of course it's alright, I get all of Christmas with my favourite person in all the world

🎅🏼🎄🎄🎅🏼🎄🎄🎅🏼👯👯👯💃💃💃💃👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽

Hip-hooray!

Woohoo!

That is awesome! Hooray for the Cat family Christmas!

Catlady you lovely lovely mum xxxxxx. What a loser he is

[santa][santa][santa][santa][santa][santa][santa][santa][santa][santa]

This is going to look bad in court for him isn’t it? I never offered Christmas Day and the social worker said she wouldn’t expect me to let him see her then if I can’t make it work around my family she’s being nice again so if he can’t accommodate having her at all over a whole 3 day period that’s going to look bad isn’t it?

Yay for CatLady and Mini having Christmas together!! Lovely lovely lovely 🎉

I don't suppose you can post a pic of the bauble? Don't if it's identifying.

I'd think if his reason for not having her is because he has to work, no, it wouldn't really make him look bad. Unless he was in a job where it was easy to get time off and he just didn't ask for it, iyswim.

the social worker said she wouldn’t expect me to let him see her then if I can’t make it work around my family

This is great, in case he decides suddenly that he can have her. You can remind the SW that she said she wouldn't expect you to change things around!

He could have had her 24th he isn't working then. Just his mother. I doubt she is working 24 hours. Or him working 24 hours on 26th. He could have asked for time outside his hours.

He could have asked for time outside his hours.

He would be working all day Boxing day which is Sunday hours so 10am-4pm, but I'd have happily dropped her off for a couple of hours before or after.

Jux The bauble has Mini's name on which is quite identifying so I'll PM you a photo

Really pleased. I was half expecting him to do Christmas early and get all her excitement and over tired for the real day.

Be warned, he may decide he can do it after all. I wouldn't be surprised if he keeps changing his plans to hurt you.

I would make sure to both your solicitor and SW's have a copy of his statement, so he can't then claim you didn't make mini available of Christmas. How likely is it he will be hung over on New Year Day.

I'm glad your getting your Christmas with Mini and your family.

Im not letting it bother me “oh isn’t it exciting that Santa came early do you think he’ll come again on Christmas Eve at mummy’s house?” “Ohh look isn’t Santa clever knowing you were with mummy for Christmas morning and bringing you some extra presents?”

I’m not playing games with him, I’m not bothered what he does. All that matters is Mini.

He doesn’t drink so won’t be hung over.

I've said it before and I'll say it again- you are one smart lady.

Merry Christmas, Cat Lady - Looks like you've been on Santa's good list after all! I'm so happy for you!