Catlady and Mini: Our new beginning (Support Thread)

[CatLadyToddlerMother]

Previous thread here from AIBU

Told to start new thread over here for support. TL:DR as previous thread is almost full: On 4th March this year my husband attacked me and threatened to kill me in front of our then 2 year old. I spent 10 days living on my mums sofa. Am now back in the flat we shared but planning to move soon on the request of my lovely over involved Social Worker. DD is now 3 and despite a few developmental issues is coming on in leaps and bounds. We also have a cat who is fussy, selfish and snobby lovely.

Mini and the cat have been the only things keeping me going sometimes, I've been so down even though everyone thinks I'm doing ok, sometimes I wonder if I'm too good at hiding it and I actually am loosing my mind.

Will post all updates here from now on.

Yeah, your DD gets DLA

Oh I know, I also produced evidence this morning that she has a developmental delay, the paeds wrote it on a report with a list of her main diagnoses (he left some of the smaller/lesser diagnoses off due to them not really affecting the overall treatment of the bigger conditions),

Excellent stuff. You have evidence to shoot down the SW's report in flames. It contains factual inaccuracies and you have the proof.

Does this SW think it's easy to get DLA or something? How stupid is she? Does she not realise that people with lifelong conditions are being checked regularly? I've recently had my PIP assessment (MS) and the report recommends checking me again in 2 years. My neurologist has written that I have secondary progressive (not relapsing remitting) so what do they think is going to happen in that time to me? That I'll be miraculously cured?

Does your SW read the bloody DM?

Sorry. I am furious on your behalf. The money wasted on her salary could be spent on a whole unit for children with GDD.

I get Lower Rate Care but might be going up to MRC if occupational therapy day what I think they’ll say. It was a hard process. It went to appeal as they said no to start with i then didn’t get it as they upheld. And I applied again before Christmas last year and got LRC

How you only get low rate I dont know, I get middle rate for DS and they have the same diagnosis 😤

Because at the time her Nursery said she needed no extra support there but they’re now saying she does. She does the worksheets for the lower age range rooms, she’s only just starting to potty train, she’s struggled with making new friends in her new nursery - they said she doesn’t speak when doing an activity as she’s concentrating on what she’s doing and she doesn’t really add much to carpet or circle time.

Did you ask the solicitor about a complaint about the SW?
As Mini is getting DLA how can she state so categorically that she has no health problems? That is without the input she is getting from OT, nursery etc. Coupled with her suggesting you are lying to the GP and taking her in, and denying that you are the victim of DV, her professional competence is questionable. She has certainly swallowed ExH lines hook, line and sinker
The concern I have is that my family member had to work quite hard to get the report from the non- SW corrected- even spent a whole day with her manager going through the amendments. So it might be worth the solicitor raising it ASAP.
Can you record her visits ? She might also be less threatening if she knows you are recording her. It might be worth discussing with solicitor. It is very strange she is turning up unannounced if Mini isn't with you.

From now on I will be putting my phone on via my Solicitor as she records all phonecalls it also means Solicitor can listen in and input if she wants to, as long as I make the SW aware and provide a copy for her if she asks for one then she can't stop me.

Solicitor says hold off the complaint until we get the Section 7 as it could jeopardize that but she will help me when the time comes. We can however submit evidence to the court separate to the S7 as long as it is provided to the court by the date that the S7 needs to be completed so 9th January so solicitor is going to write up her own report to go alongside it to basically quash anything that the SW says which is untrue. ExH can also do this though but solicitor reckons the judge can see right through manipulators and bullies so they may choose not to accept his evidence.

The judge has seen a manipulator and bully so many times its unreal, he will see right through him, its the social workers report that needs disputing against

social workers report that needs disputing against

I think if I was understanding right that is what my solicitor will submit to the court basically disputing anything untrue with the proof, as from what I can tell we can't get her report changed as it's her report not my solicitors. But my solicitors report can undermine the SW and basically make her look bad, and my solicitor will have a chance to speak to the judge during the hearing and explain it all as well so she can reference both reports and make reference to evidence submitted, which she/her colleague couldn't do at the initial hearing as it wasn't a fact finding or DRA hearing.

CatLady

You have your spirit back...

Bingo, that sounds perfect

YAY Catlady's back! You fight for your kid and you keep fighting, Mummabear!!! This is the kind of thing that will also not go unnoticed by a judge too! You are clearly not doing this to punish a man who "done you wrong" but to protect your little girl. We love you!!!

Bloody Social Worker has left me 4 voice mails saying we need to sort contact out today for the weekend or she is calling the court on her day off tomorrow and telling them I'm obstructing contact . I have emailed my solicitor but not sure if she'll see it in time.

I want him to see her this week but a) he hasn't emailed or contacted his solicitor about it and b) I was still under the assumption the SW should supervise the first 3 which she now can't do this week as she only works Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday.

It's not even been a week since the first hearing and I'm already the bad guy

Sometimes the way the SW makes me feel you'd think I'd commit perjurt or some other hideous crime.

She's the reason I want to give up. Mini is not available at the time that ExH wants her (well the time SW has told me he wants her) but I feel underpressure to cancel her appointment because he says he wants her.

My solicitor best sort this. I am exhausted by it all.

*like I've commited Prejury

Phone your Solicitor as Urgent...

I’ve left a message with her secretary but she’s with a client.

It’s too late now anyway, social work finishes work at 4

Not your fault when SW chooses to finish work. Your solicitor will sort it, and if SW doesn't get a message until Monday, that's not your fault either. Your solicitor could even start describing her as vexatious if she continues to complain about you blocking contact when SW has only contacted you today, giving you no time to rearrange things to enable contact.

Not your fault in the slightest, reasonably your social worker can not and should not expect you to rearrange an appointment for your childs medical needs because he wants contact. She is going against whats in the best interests of the child which is a pre-booked appointment.

If it comes down to it your solicitor can put in a statement complaining about the social worker to the judge. Which is what its looking like is going to happen.

Either that or you give him contact, he doesnt take her then you get the blame by the doctors, the only way around it is letting him have contact, notifying him of the appointment, and letting him not take her in order to prove that he wont take her to appointments.

It's not just about the contact it's the fact that it's now clearly a personal vendetta against me. I told the SW I wasn't available for calls this afternoon, I had an appointment for myself which I needed to go to and why shouldn't I if DD is happy and safe in Nursery? I told the SW yesterday that my solicitor would be emailing her to discuss the interim order.

Bt I've had 5 phonecalls from the SW, several of which she left voicemails, and 3 texts. It seems to be that it's harassment and bullying.

I will try to contact the FRG tomorrow as this isn't on, I made it clear I wasn't available and my solicitor would deal with it but they've continued to harass me. I could technically go to the police.

I actually felt like properly giving up for the first time since July today, as in handing DD over to ExH and disappearing - I shouldn't be made to feel like that by someone whose supposed to be protecting me and my DD.

He can't do this appointment as I also have my own appointment at the same time to discuss my own health, it's been deliberately set up that way to save me time.