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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

The Claw....a thread about loneliness

880 replies

HopelessWithNumbers · 08/07/2018 18:54

Combating Loneliness At Weekends

I don’t know if this is 100% appropriate for ‘Relationships’ but a few of us on another thread have been discussing the horrible loneliness that can invade (not exclusively at weekends of course) when you are single or not single but feeling that the rest of the world is enjoying themselves with families, friends or partners.

Of course some people love their own company, but others struggle. My child is an adult so my time is pretty much my own (apart from work), but I have just come out of a relationship and am finding it difficult to keep the sadness and anxiety at bay.

Other people are in relationships but not getting what they need in some way, and so feeling sad and / or lonely.

Could we use this thread for supporting people in that position? Virtually and perhaps meeting in ‘real life’?

OP posts:
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6
mselastic · 28/07/2018 07:46

Claw is a wonderful description of loneliness. It is grip on you and I wonder if people look at me and know I'm lonely.

Is anyone lonely because they find it difficult to make friends and relationships? I'm from an abusive background and suffer from complex ptsd.. As a result I struggle setting boundaries, I give too much, find it difficult to trust, struggle recognising my emotions let alone name them, take things too seriously and deep down wonder why people would like me.

People see me as being strong, independent, compassionate and have empathy. People always confide in me, so clearly I'm seen as trustworthy . I'm an introvert too.

So how do I improve my life? I work alone, live alone, estranged from my family. My sons have lives and grilfriends and I barely see them.

How do I get out of this mess? Work and commute is min 60 hour week.

I'm getting to the point where I don't know what to say to people because that "claw" has dug in.

tartantroosers · 28/07/2018 13:40

Hello fellow claws. Haven't logged on for a while but just checking in. I waved my son goodbye for a week away camping with scouts and am now sitting at home feeling that awful gnawing feeling again. Irony is, I have a ton of stuff to do, and time to do is, but absolutely zero motivation. I have a friend coming over this evening and should be making some plans to go out but even that seems too much. Default is to have a glass of wine which is not going to help any. I've seen a friend for coffee and that was good, but what now?
Feel for you all. We know the answers in our heads but why won't the emotions connect. I just want to shake off the bindweed I feel is choking me

BatshitCrazyWoman · 28/07/2018 14:00

Not been on this thread for ages. Feeling really quite low as my whole life seems to have gone wrong Confused Too long to go into here.

I've spent 2 and a half hours in the quiet area of the library, just reading and not being completely alone as there were other people there. Now having a coffee alone before going home.

Hope that happiness event sounds great and I work in central London so I think I'll buy a ticket when I get home.

FolkGirlAtHeart · 28/07/2018 14:05

Well I would love to give you ‘camp updates’ but I’m not even there yet (was meant to go yesterday) as I got caught up with all the delays/cancellations 😫 On the plus side, I now know the airport rather well and have sampled an impressive range of sandwiches 😁

BatshitCrazyWoman · 28/07/2018 14:27

Oh dear Folk hope you're on your way soon.

eve34 · 28/07/2018 16:15

@tartantroosers my boy went on camp today too. He went last year and I missed him so much. I'm a bit calmer about it all this year. He is growing up.
@FolkGirlAtHeart hope you are in your way soon.
I'm just putting my feet up for a few hours before I go out out tonight.

Foundmyanger · 28/07/2018 17:51

Just joining
Lonely tonight my husband has left a few months ago - we have 2 kids one has SEN one a baby, he has a new girlfriend and is out partying.
I am stuck at home. It’s a ridiculous and terrible situation.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 28/07/2018 19:23

Found I hope he has the children sometimes to give you a break. Hugs to you as it must be so hard

anotherfail · 28/07/2018 21:59

Hello all and especially newcomers. Although I'm sad you find yourself in the lonely camp, I'm glad you've found us and a safe space to air your feelings.

When I read what others write, I despair of men. Who could leave their wife with a kid with SEN and a baby?! Wtaf! Found do you family around who can help? I really do hope so.

Tartan I think you sound exhausted and need to give yourself a break. Try to forget the long list of stuff you should be doing and do something that will make you feel a bit happier. Watch a film, go for a walk, take a nap. Just be kind to yourself 

Folk I'm out of touch with what's going on re travel, but I hope you get there soon. Safe travels.

Batshit ha ha love your name Grin Not sure what's going on but take the time to type it out and post. People on here are good at advise and sometimes it just feels better to get things off your chest.

anotherfail · 28/07/2018 22:04

Sorry forgot mselastic. I think the only thing you can do is take baby steps. Each day try and do one little thing to make yourself feel happier. Force yourself, even if you don't want to. Your life sounds complicated and difficult and I'm not great at unraveling stuff, but know that I and others on here care and we're here to listen.

Thinks that most recent posters.

Sorry if I missed anyone.

Tookawrongturnsomewhere · 28/07/2018 22:34

Hi can I join too? Feeling rubbish as kids at their dads for two weeks, yesterday I kept busy but today I just lost any motivation to get anything done, heat didn't help but I hate the way the claw takes hold before you realise it! Feel like even going out would be pointless.. @Found I'm really sorry to hear that I hope you have support nearby

Foundmyanger · 28/07/2018 22:54

Thanks for messages of support, has given me a boost.

ahouseofleaves · 28/07/2018 23:02

Just joining.

I'm feeling so stuck and alone. 41, single with no prospects at all (I've tried, but I think I must be doing something wrong, because they always leave. I'm disabled, wheelchair user. To top it off, disability means I've had to give up working, so no socialising w. colleagues.

I have a few friends, but it seems only to be when it suits them. I can spend days without speaking to anyone or hear anything even if I text.

Thanks for reading.

Mary1935 · 29/07/2018 07:14

Morning all - mselastic - love your username too.
I to had a cruel and abusive childhood. I try and name the feeling at the time and also tell myself it will pass. One of my problems is I cut off from people if they piss me off or I feel let down. I have lost some good friends by doing this. I’m not that good at identifying what I need or letting others know.
One message from my father (I need to think of a suitable name for him as he wasn’t a father in any sense of the word) anyway - he taught us “to stand alone” meaning you don’t need anyone - this was wrong on so many levels but it’s helped me cope with the loneliness too.
I don’t tell others how I feel.
I went out to bingo with a friend last Saturday - the bingo hall was empty and it was a bit grim!!!
Batshit - I’m going to but a ticket to the Happiness talk on the 25th Sept so I could meet you there and anyone else who fancies this.
It’s meant to rain today where I am - I MAY do some cleaning - my house is very messy but it’s funny - now I’ve decided I’m going to get on with divorcing my abusive ex I’ve started to clear it a bit!!!! It’s a case of “tidy mind tidy home”

8FencingWire · 29/07/2018 08:49

Morning all!
eve, please do go and see your friends today! I’ll tell you a little ‘secret’, married couples also get fed up with each other’s company. I felt more lonely in my marriage than now. So do go, have a meal, a pleasant chat about ‘stuff’, nothing heavy, just enjoy!

mselastc, I too struggle with boundaries. I am reading a very interesting book ‘codependency for dummies’, I exclaim :THIS IS ME pretty much every paragraph!
I also come from an abusive background. But how I coped was packing it all into boxes and stacking them in the back of my mind. After 40 odd years, they’ll start toppling. And I read extensively about what trauma does to the body. And all those boxes in my head, they’re filled with rotten vile crap and taking their toll. So now I’m chucking them out one by one. I feel old and burdened, so I’m decluttering ruthlessly.

folk, hope you made it to the camp alright!

tartan, how was last night? Hope you find the motivation today! Mine is gone for 3 weeks, one flew by already!
foundmyanger, I feel sorry for the girlfriend. They get fed the ‘sexless marriage/my ex is a psycho’ line and they fall for it. But who in their right mind would het together with a man who abandons small children? I did, because I was naive and he had a very good story to spin. I then found out the truth, I’ll never go anywhere near one of them ever again.

batshit, talk, let it all out! I’m listening!

tookawrongturn, where does it say you have to act as nothing has happened and just get on with stuff straight away? Take your time to grieve and think. Be kind to yourself. Sod the cleaning, have a long bath with candles and a glass of something, listen to some music from when you were a teenager or something.

houseofleaves, do you mind me asking why you’re in a wheelchair? What did you use to do for a job? What do you like doing, do you read? I hear you, if I didn’t have my job I would struggle much much more. Do you drive, can you take yourself places?

another 🤗 have fun today! X
mery!!!!!! Yyyy to cutting people off and not being able to identify my needs and feelings clearly! I’m having fun with this, I didn’t even realise I’m friggin’ emotionally stunted to that extent. Ffs!!!! I only just realised that last year with my exBF, I told him to just hold me when I do that, let me process and work it out and little by little I’ll learn. He said no 😂. Actually, he put it much nicer, he said he can’t give me what I need. I thought it was because I was too fucked up. But no, he said no because he had his own massive issues and that would have deterred the full attention from himself. He wanted me there for him, at all times and unconditionally, but didin’t want to reciprocate! Mindfuck!

Anyway, time for a second coffee.

8FencingWire · 29/07/2018 09:01

I had a friend over last night for a movie and takeaway. It was great, really relaxed and cosy, no heavy discutions, just chill, bit of harmless gossip. Then I introduced her to the wonders of binge watching episodes on netflix 😂😂😂. Went to bed at 1 am. She’s getting netflix!

Today is chill day. It’s raining the whole day. I plan to pack the rest of my exBf’s stuff ready for collection, I’ll be so happy when it’s all gone! I’ve got my books, I’ll have a nice long bath and try and go to bed early. I have a realtively easy week, I have a long weekend ahead of me, I plan to redecorate the living room!!! I’m painting it white. Got lots of shoot offs to pot, I’m actually looking forward to regaining my space and doing it up to my liking. And if it’s warm enough, I’ll go for a swim in the sea in the evenings.

Hope you’re all enjoying your coffees :)

eve34 · 29/07/2018 09:28

Morning all.

Sorry I can't name check there has been lots of updates.

@FolkGirlAtHeart have you got there yet
@8FencingWire bit cold to swim in the sea 😱. I'm sure it will be bracing.

I went out with some friends last night to 80's night. Had fab time. My feet are killing me. Didn't drink too much I can't handle the hang over anymore. And I appear to have some blokes Number in my phone. 😳

Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday. It isn't looking very nice out today. I'm off to see some family for lunch. And I got through my fourth weekend without the kids

yearofreckoning · 29/07/2018 09:47

Morning all ,

Can I join ?Smile

I'm very early 30's single parent for six years. Last night , I was so bored in the evening that I decided to have a night out alone as DS was away for the weekend and none of my married friends like to go out . Suffice to say I will stay home next time as it was worse than being home . Sitting at a table having a drink and watching everyone in pairs or groups having fun and wishing I was part of them . Went home after a couple of hours ☹️☹️.

Hopefully everyone has a great Sunday and a good week ahead x

eve34 · 29/07/2018 10:05

@yearofreckoning so sorry to hear about your evening. It is so hard on your own.
I could offer the usual advice of joining a club blah blah blah. But you know all that.

Most of my older friends are all couples. When ex left I knew I needed to find new friends that weren't associated with him/us. And I have been fortunate to make some new single friends which has really helped. It isn't easy though.

HopelessWithNumbers · 29/07/2018 10:29

Morning everyone. Hello to the newcomers! Pouring with rain here.

Emma sorry to hear you had a bit of a difficult week. How has the weekend been?

How was your night out, Eve ? I hope you had a good time. I know what you mean about the couples thing, but I think I am just used to it now, because I have spent a lot of time being single. My closest friends (who are unfortunately scattered all over the country) are three couples, so when we get together there is usually 7 of us. Sometimes it gets me down, but what can I do?

Hi mselastic It sounds like you are struggling with some difficult issues there, and also a long working week, you must be exhausted. What do you enjoy doing? How would you like to spend your time ideally?
Like you, I think people find me compassionate and empathetic, but what I find difficult is turning acquaintances in to friends. I just find as I get older, and people have busier and busier lives (or we assume they do....) it's difficult to make new friends.

Hi tartan Nice to hear from you again. How was your evening with your friend? I hope you enjoyed it.

One thing that struck me when I was catching up with all the posts was how movingly people describe their situations. Some of the phrases used are really descriptive.
Does anyone find writing things down therapeutic? Has anyone done any creative writing?
I have been struggling with my feelings about my ex over the past week or so. I keep having conversations with him in my head....it's driving me mad actually. Having read some of the posts here I wondered whether I should write it all down and then maybe burn it or something?

Batshit I am definitely going to the Happiness thing at Conway Hall so if you fancy meeting up before, during or after let me know.
Sorry that you are feeling so rubbish.

Are you there yet Folk ? I really hope so. And hope you're having fun.

Welcome Foundmyanger Really very sorry to read about your experience. I hope you have RL support to help you out. I agree with another It's so awful to hear what happens to families when men just up and leave (I know women do it too...).

Hello and welcome Tookawrong Two weeks is a long time for the children to be away. I used to miss my daughter terribly when she was away. I hope you can talk to us here and not feel quite so rubbish.

Welcome ahouse Sorry to hear you're so alone at the moment. It must be hard to know how to change things. Talk to us here and maybe ideas will emerge....

Hi yearsof Well done for giving going out alone a go though. I think that's really brave. What did you go to? (Pub / club?) I've been to pubs on my own a few times, usually to watch sporting events. I always feel really uncomfortable!

OP posts:
Tookawrongturnsomewhere · 29/07/2018 10:34

@8FencingWire thankyou for that.. Sometimes it's the pressure to feel like should be doing something worthwhile.. When in fact taking care of how we feel is just that!! Funnily enough I had some old music on when I read your message! I'm going to meet a friend later. Swim in the sea sounds good.

HopelessWithNumbers · 29/07/2018 10:38

Few that was a long one Grin

As someone else said, although it's a shame that so many people feel like this, it's great that people are joining and speaking (typing...) about how they feel. I think getting this out in the open is really important because I don't believe that every single person we know is happy and having a great time.

8Fencing I love your updates. Your 'box' metaphor was great. Sounds like a nice evening with your friend. Any tips for good things to watch on Netflix?

eve just seen your update about a phone number...…! Any more details to tell us? Grin

I went to see my daughter + family yesterday & then to a BBQ at a friends house. I only really knew two people but I enjoyed it and it was nice to meet some new people too. I seemed to be ok coming home (which is always the difficult time for me) and wasn't tempted to make phone calls or text!

I'm taking my Grandson to the seaside tomorrow for a couple of days. I am so looking forward to it. Can't wait to have some fun with him on the beach - even if it is raining!

OP posts:
FolkGirlAtHeart · 29/07/2018 11:02

Hi all, brief camp update. I finally got here in the early hours this morning and having a child day at the beach before I meet my fellow campers tomorrow.

Sorry for not commenting on individual posts. I’ll have to be careful with battery etc. and won’t have much reception in the coming days. I’m reading though and send courage and strength to everyone who is struggling Flowers

FolkGirlAtHeart · 29/07/2018 11:03

Chilled I mean although a child day wouldn’t be bad either Grin

yearofreckoning · 29/07/2018 11:04

Thank you @eve34 , I was just fed up of sitting at home but on second thought maybe that was the best idea.

@HopelessWithNumbers I went to a casino/club type of thing and as a newcomer, they gave me a free drink and I sat at the watching others have fun . Then I went to a club , got myself a drink but that was even more uncomfortable as I stood/sat on my own and after half an hour decided to head home. Next time, I might try a pub once I have recovered from last night Smile

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