Morning all!
eve, please do go and see your friends today! I’ll tell you a little ‘secret’, married couples also get fed up with each other’s company. I felt more lonely in my marriage than now. So do go, have a meal, a pleasant chat about ‘stuff’, nothing heavy, just enjoy!
mselastc, I too struggle with boundaries. I am reading a very interesting book ‘codependency for dummies’, I exclaim :THIS IS ME pretty much every paragraph!
I also come from an abusive background. But how I coped was packing it all into boxes and stacking them in the back of my mind. After 40 odd years, they’ll start toppling. And I read extensively about what trauma does to the body. And all those boxes in my head, they’re filled with rotten vile crap and taking their toll. So now I’m chucking them out one by one. I feel old and burdened, so I’m decluttering ruthlessly.
folk, hope you made it to the camp alright!
tartan, how was last night? Hope you find the motivation today! Mine is gone for 3 weeks, one flew by already!
foundmyanger, I feel sorry for the girlfriend. They get fed the ‘sexless marriage/my ex is a psycho’ line and they fall for it. But who in their right mind would het together with a man who abandons small children? I did, because I was naive and he had a very good story to spin. I then found out the truth, I’ll never go anywhere near one of them ever again.
batshit, talk, let it all out! I’m listening!
tookawrongturn, where does it say you have to act as nothing has happened and just get on with stuff straight away? Take your time to grieve and think. Be kind to yourself. Sod the cleaning, have a long bath with candles and a glass of something, listen to some music from when you were a teenager or something.
houseofleaves, do you mind me asking why you’re in a wheelchair? What did you use to do for a job? What do you like doing, do you read? I hear you, if I didn’t have my job I would struggle much much more. Do you drive, can you take yourself places?
another 🤗 have fun today! X
mery!!!!!! Yyyy to cutting people off and not being able to identify my needs and feelings clearly! I’m having fun with this, I didn’t even realise I’m friggin’ emotionally stunted to that extent. Ffs!!!! I only just realised that last year with my exBF, I told him to just hold me when I do that, let me process and work it out and little by little I’ll learn. He said no 😂. Actually, he put it much nicer, he said he can’t give me what I need. I thought it was because I was too fucked up. But no, he said no because he had his own massive issues and that would have deterred the full attention from himself. He wanted me there for him, at all times and unconditionally, but didin’t want to reciprocate! Mindfuck!
Anyway, time for a second coffee.