Dating Thread 136 - Can Anybody Find Me Somebody to Love?

[ValMc1]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

3 attempts is weird.

I’ve had a couple the have made two attempts then a stroppy message asking why I’m not talking to them. One of them whinged that is viewed his profile (on pof) so was I interested or not.

I viewed it because he’d messaged me (just a ‘hi’) and decided I wasn’t interested. I don’t owe unsolicited messagers a response. (And I wouldn’t get annoyed if someone didn’t respond to me - these aren’t people I know l).

I’m not sure why they think stroppy messages will help their case.

I think some people are crap at handling rejection Unimaginative.

Maybe I'm not entirely right in my assumptions but I figure thus:

No response to a first message = not interested
No reply once a conversation has started = no interest
I sent the last message in the evening and they don't reengage in the next couple of days = no interest

Others obviously assume the woman is 'playing hard to get'?

I would have thought your assumptions are correct. They’d certainly be my assumptions the other way round.

With OLD you’re dealing with strangers. They’re obviously going to wander off if they aren’t interested. It’s not a big deal.

There’s probably an overlap between the people who get stroppy and the ones who write those awful, bitter profiles telling people what they do wrong on OLD. You will have come across several of those, I’m sure.

You will have come across several of those, I’m sure.

Ain't that the truth!

I get really busy and forget to reply so I wouldn't say your last assumption was correct. Sometimes people send me messages in the evening and I only get around to looking at them the next day. My WhatsApp is ridiculous though - loads of family abroad and that's how they converse with me plus my work comes in that way plus friends plus kids. Sometimes I feel like I am never off it!

Am going to actively set up dates with Mr Local and Mr Far Away. I don't know how some of you cope with multiple chats because I can't manage it at all. Bloke1 has come back but I need to watch myself with him. Aim is to see all by end of the week and decide which one/ones i'll move forward with!

@BendyLikeBeckham I thought he'd maybe been snooping on his Mums MN account!
Either that or it's @Kinunir 👀

And some of these youngsters are persistent! They don't like being ignored 😂

As I keep trying to tell anyone who’ll listen wishy, I’m a good boy me 😇

I can’t really cope with multiple chats either. Not that I’ve got the possibility of multiple chats but theoretically I’d get overwhelmed.

I have one single chat going on with Mr Slightly Ginger (or MSG if you will) who seems normal and nice. He’s away with work next week (and I have plans on Saturday) so we’ve set up a date (drinks) for next Sunday - when I will be child free (and presumably he will be too).

I promise not to overinvest in the mean time.

hmmm Kin you’re a good boy?? Yeah right!! sort of like Bendy and me being good girls!!!

Unimaginative Repeat after me.... ‘I will not over-invest’

Mr Hat disappeared into the wide blue yonder yesterday afternoon and then ‘ping’ suddenly he’s back again! Haven’t read his message yet - he can wait, I’ve decided to play hard ball

Mr Muppet appears to have been deleted from Bumble - oooo wonder if he was a naughty boy!

Daffo sounds like a full week of dates for you this week - enjoy!

Yep, three attempts is weird! I occasionally try two but that’s it, no-one is worth a third (well, unless George Clooney or Jeremy Renner suddenly decide to sign up for OLD!)

Had a great time at the festival, made 3 new friends, weather was amazing and bought a few bits for my van. So glad I went or I would have spent the day at home feeling sorry for myself. Have now arranged to camp at a festival (in 2 months time) with the friends I made today.

Unimaginative Repeat after me.... ‘I will not over-invest’

I promise that I am. I absolutely will not overinvest in some bloke I’ve never met. Not me. No. Never.

Sounds amazing @Lovemusic33. Well done for going on your own and making new friends.

Love I enjoy going solo - I chat to random people that I wouldn't normally do if I was with someone - I went to Oz on my own years ago on a dry airline - the lovely gay young man who sat next to me didn't know it was dry - we got hammered together on my duty free - we are still in touch today and has become a really good friend.

So pleased you had such a great time Love

Val what a great story!! Yes, I agree when you're on your own you chat so real randoms, years back I went to California on my own and met the most amazing group people at Disneyland who took me under their wing for a week and we had so much fun!

lovemusic that's fab. Well done you!

val great story.

halfdutch being good is very overrated, right!

I've been away for the weekend and can see there is loads to catch up on, but I need your thoughts first please.

Met someone on Bumble about a week ago. We chatted. He found me on Instagram and followed me. I don't mind that too much. We swapped numbers and moved to WA. Then he looked at my LinkedIn profile. Again, that's ok, I've chosen to add my profile on there. Anyway, today he sent me a photo of him on a walk in London that he took outside my office! I work for a small company in central London. Now I just found that a bit odd. He made a joke about being a stalker but I don't find it funny. Am I overreacting?

I don't know Tom. I normally have a good stalk once I know who someone is. He shouldn't have sent you the picture. It's also too early to follow you on social media imho. For me that happens when you go exclusive if at all. If he had happened to walk past your office, he probably should have just kept it to himself. He's made the mistake of being completely open with you and it's way too early for that.

If he went out his way to find your office then that is bloody weird.

It would freak me out - but I would be honest and tell him that he's going too fast for you and see what happens.

Daffo I think he went out of his way to find my office. And it's left me feeling very uncomfortable. I think it's really odd and I don't know why he'd do it. I'm tempted to simply block him.

I think you should tell him that it has freaked you out. If he's made a joke about being a stalker, I would write back and say that you don't find it funny and it's made you feel uncomfortable but tbh it won't recover from here so it might as well end.

Only reason I say tell him is now that he knows so much about you, I think it's better to tell him the truth because if you just block him without saying anything, he may just do something more extreme to get your attention.

He didn't end up with his blind date in Singapore who was much older than him, but he is now happily married to a lovely guy and I was proud to give him away so you never know where life takes you!

Thanks deffo. Done. There are some strange people out there!

White wine? White wine? It’s bloody sacrilege I tell ya!

So I messaged him and told him it made me feel uncomfortable and I didn't want to continue. He said sorry then said it was an overreaction! I'm well rid....

I've also just had an amazing weekend with loads of friends and have realised real friends count for so much. So I'm avoiding OLD for a while. I'm going to enjoy my summer instead! And of course catch up on what is going on here.

I do still have Mr Academic and we meet up sporadically which is just enough for me.

Kin! I was on a very nice Pinot last night- and was cheap from Wetherspoon - highly recommended

You need to swing both ways depending on the weather/ your mood lol