Should i pursue this man?

[Auldspinster]

I had the major fanny gallops for a colleague who has recently left.

I never acted on it largely because we were colleagues but obviously that doesn’t apply now.

Would it be a terrible idea to private message him on facebook and say, ‘look, I fancied the pants off you when we worked together, now we don’t, do you want to do something about it? If not, delete this message and pretend it never happened.’?
We’re both in our 40s, not sure of his marital status – he didn’t have a wedding ring but wore a non weddingy ring on his right hand and never mentioned a significant other. I felt very strong chemistry when he was around but am well aware it could have been totally one sided. I figure I’ll likely never see him again I thought in for a penny, in for a pound.

Am I being startlingly naïve or should I go for it?

I love this! Woman confidence!!! You go girl

Confidence is everything. I wish I could go back and show my younger self this thread. It took me ages (38 years) to realise that actually you do need to spell it out to blokes...
good luck OP. I know many men who would jump at the chance for sone NSA fun with someone upfront about it.
You sound ace!

Hope it works out for you! X

Never read a post so quick in my life!
Dying to know what he replies.
Also i salute how forward and to the point you are. Better thsn playing games or always trying to guage the other person.

Good luck!x

Shamelessly place marking! You go girl!!!

Don't like to rain on your parade, but I'm a bit worried about the highlights

Paper bag would solve that single

hope it works out for you!

Shameless placemark

Sorry to be the voice of dissent, but if I received a message like that I'd be pretty appalled! Good luck though. I'm also pretty shocked at the highlights how could you?.

Go team Rhino!

Go full horny rhino OP😁

Not really.. suggestion of a drink probably best

I'm not interested in him if he's attached. I'm a free agent and not going to be slut shamed for having sex

Good for you

Hope you come back and give an update

FFS how the hell do you think your behaviour would be attractive? You sound like a dog on heat

FFS how the hell do you think your behaviour would be attractive? Honest and upfront, why not.

Horney rhino spirit animal

'Im with Altheadonnor - this is inappropriate. Reverse the genders for a minute - if it were a man on here asking about sending a woman this sort of message he would be given a roasting.
Assuming this is genuine, OP doesn't even know the man well enough to figure out if he's single or not. Pure objectification of another person and is a bit creepy.

I find it in appropriate too. If not quite vile
Women are asking for equality and respect, how are we supposed to achieve that if this crap is supposed to be even worthy of a post on here.
Is this the Jeremy Kyle show?
Eeeeew

I ran the message I actually sent by my oldest friend and she said it was honest and to the point without being crass. I was simply putting it out there to him and certainly won't attempt contact again if I don't get a response.

Inappropriate how? It's not like the op intends to pull the wool over his eyes. Seems refreshingly honest to me.

I don't know his marital status as the nature of our work left little room for chit chat.

bitter and twisted brigade are here.

If a man came on here and said I really fancy this woman, think she's single but I'm only up for NSA, should I send her an upfront message, I for one would say I'd rather he did that than pretend he wanted a relationship and to go for it.

There's plenty of men and women only wanting nsa fun and as long as it's between two consenting adults then there's nothing wrong with it at all. Why pretend it's anything else? it's then that people get hurt.

Maybe you'd both loosen up if you were to partake.

Im dying to see what he responds with.

I'm not bitter and twisted at all. I just think its bloody rude to not even make any attempt to find out if someone is single before asking them for sex! I have no problems with anyone having no strings attached sex, I had plenty of it myself back in the day, but its common courtesy I reckon to find out if someone is firstly single, and secondly interested in you before propositioning them. If I received a message like that I'd not think much of the person sending it to me, as it would show they just thought of me as a booty call and were too lazy to find out that's not my scene.

.

The message covered both of those things and sought to find out if it's his scene. What's the point in dancing around with all the pretence.

@Auld I hope he isn't just an occasional Facebook user 🙄

Women are asking for equality and respect Doesn't include drooling over a man if we so wish to partake then. Are you looking at it as lowering the standards to a mans level maybe it is, but to look down on or chastise is doing exactly what you're supposedly fighting against Not ladylike enough for you.