Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

[Kinunir]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

dutch I've been wondering the same thing! I've tried a few different starters and get very few replies.

val what relationship status have you gone for? I've added "not into ONS" on my Bumble profile. It sure if it helps or not.

Tom I changed it to want to date nothing serious on Pof - wrong message I suspect - but do explain a bit more in my profile ( if they bother to read it)

Hi all, Just checking in to the thread. Life is bonkers at the moment. Had a prang in my car a couple of weeks back and spent most of this week getting things sorted with that!

Anyway - my last dilemma, when I went on 2 dates has pretty much been solved for me. The younger one is now off to Canada for a 2/4wk holiday and has just been granted a 2 year working visa so he is gone now. We got on well & have ended it nicely so that's that.

My other date slightly older than me (who I was steering towards anyway) and I are meeting up at the weekend to watch the football..... said he wanted to watch it with me so off to the city to get in the mood for the match.

We were meant to meet last Friday but he was working late on the Friday and couldnt guarantee a time to meet so I just cancelled on Wednesday and left him to it. Seemed to do the trick we were back to non-stop texting all day Sunday. Said he wished he'd seen me on Friday as planned and now we have to wait another week. (Both have busy jobs/kids).

This one has been a slow burn from the get go & I'm enjoying the pace it is going at. Out of all of that dates I've had (a few...to many) this is the first one who has made me think there is definately potential long term...... & there is the all elusive spark there too.

Looking forward to Sat. 😍

Sounds very promising Vixen seems like a slow burn is the way to go! Have a great time on Saturday!

Vixen slow burn is good. Hope it goes well on Saturday.

Val I wondered whether to try that. It sums up what I want - not a ONS and not full on moving in with me. But I think most people read it as looking for fun i.e sex only. Let us know how it goes.

Why are some men so bad at messaging? No wonder they're single.
If you match with a gorgeous, sexy woman - me - and said woman asks you "do you want to meet or carry on discussing the weather?" You don't reply "what do you want to talk about then"
And when asked "what are you looking for? I'm looking for someone to date." Then you ask for a date.
Instead he replied "similar".
I feel an unmatch coming on!

Runs that is almost word for word that I've written - if they don't get it - their problem ! Convo doesn't sound promising !

Does anyone manage to meet single people in real life? In the past year or so I've gone from university (52 people in class, 6 single people including me), to one place of work (15 members on the team, me the only single), to another role as part of professional training (14 people on team, me the only single), to another role (20 people on team, 3 single including me).

Has it always been like this? Is there some mysterious place where single people congregate? Is it just because I'm so aware of my single status that all I see is people in relationships?

Dan, I don’t meet anyone in real life, maybe I don’t try hard enough, I find it hard to approach anyone, I don’t know if they are single? If they would be interested in me? It’s much harder as you get older. I remember the days of randomly snogging people in night clubs and asking for phone numbers from random guys. I have hobbies, I talk to a few people but most are a lot older than me. I would love to be able to meet someone in RL.

If there's someone I like the look of but there's no obvious conversation opener, I'll sometimes go for
"Red, white or Rosé" or "Cheese plate or Dessert"

I normally say hello then say why I like the profile and start with some sort of opener (on bumble) but it's not always easy.

Date was great fun. He is the hardest bloke to read that I have ever met. We talked and talked and time ran past but I really couldn't tell you what he thought of me and I'm normally really good at that. I was more nervous than him and that's unusual. Hoping he sends a nice message later

The best opening line has to be:

"Why are you on here?"

Because it's a dating website you fuckwit!

hi everyone, had a lovely day and evening with my date. Think this one could be a slow burner. Not sure.

One flag was that he normally dates much younger women (me and him same age) and I think that will be the clincher here tbh. I think it's why he's a bit backwards about coming forward as he's used to much younger women. So I suspect I will get a You were lovely but no thanks message. Just didn't feel the vibes from him which is why I couldn't read them.

Oh well onwards and upwards

Just checking in, work is busy - the joys of grass seed season - and I've been out enjoying the sun every minute that I can. Still seeing Mr DiamondMine, last date was yesterday evening and seeing him again on Sunday. I'm not actually sure what date that is now in terms of numbers, but we still haven't slept together. I like the pace though, I know it's going to happen at some point and I'm enjoying the build up. Slow burns are good, hope it goes well for you on Saturday Vixen! Love I hope you get more messages from Mr CV and fewer wank videos (not envy). Sounds potentially promising Jax! Fingers crossed for another date Daffo - I know it's easy to say but it'll be his loss if he says thanks but no thanks. Even when you know that it's still a bit shit though if you enjoyed the date.

I'm not actively using any of the sites at the moment but I also found opening messages on Bumble tricky when there was either no or very little profile information. I didn't tend to swipe on too many of those but sometimes they were too fit not to I'm pretty draconian about the age range too; I'm 37 and my age range on all of the sites is 36-43. Ideal is really 38-40 though - Mr DM is 39 so that's one box ticked anyway

I never meet people in real life. Well, I do, but I don't know if they're single, looking etc. I meet quite a lot of men at work but that would be highly inappropriate, I can't flirt with clients although I do get some who do with me, but it's not the time or place. I work with one single male vet who is an absolute sweetheart but he's 24 and fresh out of university, bless him. I go rock climbing several times a week but again the blokes always seem either too young or too old - the ones who look like they might be the right age range and I find vaguely attractive to look at are never the ones I seem to get talking to!

Good luck to everyone with dates planned for the weekend. I'll try to catch up properly in the next day or two, hopefully before we're on to another thread!!

So Mr wank video sent me a message asking why I hadn’t replied and he said ‘I thought you would have enjoyed it’, I sent a message back saying “I think you may have enjoyed it a lot more than I did’.

Had a few messages from Mr Campervan early this evening, he’s drinking so I don’t expect to hear much from him.

Well as predicted I got the thanks but no thanks message. In all my years of dating this is the first one that has made me sad. There was something that wasn't right but I think it was because I was nervous which is so unlike me - also I guess if he didn't feel anything for me then fair enough and I'm pleased he told me now rather than stringing it along to get sex and dumping me.

Bloke2 is sending nice messages but I just don't think he wants a relationship. I know he wants sex. We can't meet for a few weeks so I might have to ask him as I don't want to waste my time if that's all he's after.

Back to the drawing board :(

Daffo at least he had the decency to tell you. I find rejection hard even if it was someone I wasn't that into, I guess we all want people to want us and fancy us but in reality it's quite rare for both people to feel a spark.

I'm feeling sorry for myself. Have started a thread in the 'sex' threads. Every time I have good MB I end up with a bad UTI, I am in agony ,I need to shake it off before Mr Campervan comes home next week and try to prevent it happening again.

Poor you and thanks for the kind words.

This used to happen to a friend of mine a lot. I'm not sure how she solved it. Without being too graphic, is it lubricated enough as I know she seemed to think this might be a potential problem.

Well, I'm back. Some of you might remember me from the beginning of the year when I started dating Mr Last Year. Few issues along the way, I posted here about a couple of them, but anyway 4 months down the line and I've been ghosted completely. I'm absolutely fuming. Weak, cowardly twat that he is. I compromised on so much, was being open and honest with him all the time, then suddenly without any warning he literally blanks me. Not heard from him for a week now. I've kept my powder dry, not chased or begged and can at least say my dignity is in tact.
I really feel like I'm done with dating. At 48 the pond is just getting smaller and smaller. To be ghosted by a 55 year old just feels ridiculous . But I'm not going to let him beat me. I suspect he wants me to go begging back to him so he has the control over me. He can sing for it. I'll never ever do that.
So I'm going to give myself the summer off, follow you all and be back to it in September!!

Love why not block the bloke who sent the wank video. Now you've given him the opportunity to discuss it further with you.

Daffo sorry to hear your date didn't work out.

change that's horrible that he's done that to you. Walk away with your head high.

I might have a date at the weekend. Just trying to sort when and where. I'm not that enthusiastic about it at the moment but I'll meet him and see.

Change that is just horrible - hugs - compromise is important in any relationship but it has to a two way street- it's not healthy if it's only person doing it - hope you enjoy your time-out and feel ready to jump back on the bandwagon soon - you are the prize - his loss.

Daffo, no lube needed 🤣 but apparently using it can stop infection so I might give it a try. I’m going camping sat and not sure how close I will be to a toilet, could be fun 😐

Runs, yes I think I will block Mr Wank video.

I've cancelled my date for tonight after talking to him last night - sounds about 70! I've probably had enough excitement for this week so my date for tomorrow is two bags of sand and some patio sealant - hope you all have a more exciting weekend lined up.

Hi all, quick question if I may? I have rejoined pof for about the fourth time, I know a glutton for punishment. I kept deleting not due to finding dates but being fed up of the whole crap messages. Anyway, if you view someone you like the look of and they view you back but you don’t receive any messages from them, is this a sign you are not for them? Any thoughts greatly appreciated.
P.s love all your tales on dating, it really does help me when thinking, is it just me???