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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

999 replies

Kinunir · 21/06/2018 10:16

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
BendyLikeBeckham · 02/07/2018 22:19

You go girl halfdutch Nothing to lose!

BarmcakeBird · 02/07/2018 22:49

I’m lurking as haven’t got owt to report 😩think I might have over tinkered in pof or I’ve ran out of people in my area (that’s a tragic thought) would anyone mind looking at my profile and see if there anything off putting in there??

esk1mo · 02/07/2018 23:14

i redownloaded tinder after a 5 month break..and deleted it after 10 mins Blush

im finding main problem is finding people with common interests (also that i didnt find any of the men attractive). i have quite a few interests that dont really go together if that makes sense? or arent usually found together. my ex was literally a dream come true because we had ALL the same interests.

in my age group everyone seems to be those Love Island types, which im not really into either. i also still really fancy my gym crush but we still havent spoken despite him knowing i like him Sad

HalfDutchGirl · 02/07/2018 23:31

esk oh no I thought things were going to happen with gym crush...it all looked so hopeful.

Well I pushed the envelope and have now ended up in a right pickle!! One iron is making plans to come see me and it sounds imminent and I very nearly ended up going to Mr Local to DTD but we both figured it waa too late and would be too rushed!!! Oh FFS they're like flipping trains!

BendyLikeBeckham · 02/07/2018 23:43

I think, just go with the flow. Don't over analyse.
Don't worry too much. Just arrange each date as it comes along...

ignoringthechoc · 03/07/2018 00:18

So I should be asleep, but just to give anyone still up nightmares, thought I would share two treasures I have seen as headlines on profiles tonight...

  1. Wanted, Homeless woman.
  2. Every hole is a goal Makes me afraid to look at any more, my eyes need rinsing.
Dan89 · 03/07/2018 00:26

I'm actually getting a lot of enjoyment from rating other users' images on POF. Looking at some of the shots guys think will actually get them a date, it is a wonder how the human race manages to procreate.

Makes it all the more gutting when you're still hopelessly single while old fishy picture probably has a date lined up somewhere

esk1mo · 03/07/2018 00:56

dutch me too, its weird because i catch him looking at me, and going to the water
fountain at the same time as me, but alas..

lucky you with the two irons Wink i say enjoy them both!

Techgirldating2018 · 03/07/2018 07:29

Just checking in with nothing to report at all..
East of England seems to be a fit man free zone right now, which is a shame because in my area there’s loads of fab summer events on, but quite couples things, there’s good weather, good vibe and I’m single.
One Iron from a few weeks ago accidentally dialled my number, we’ve chatted a bit but I think he’s being polite..
Another possible I’ll call Mr Helicopter sounds promising as he’s a friend of a friend, he called and we chatted for an hour or so the other night. Not sure I’ll fancy him in real life... but he’s a Helicopter pilot!!!
Other than that still sort of seeing Mr Motorbike, but I’ve put him in the friends zone and need to have a chat about that. I’ve found I really also don’t like beards, and smokers!
Giving up is still an option, although work is busy right now thankfully.
Good luck everyone else

Lovemusic33 · 03/07/2018 08:18

Yes, there’s some pretty shocking profiles on POF, some of the photos are truly awful, drunken photos, tiger hugging, holding a cigarette in one hand and a pint in the other and the topless shots. I haven’t been on there for a few days, can’t be doing with it and I have too many irons already.

Mr Campervan is coming to mine after work, feeling a bit anxious as my dd’s will be home, they are usually in there rooms in the evening but they will probably show their faces at some point, always get worried as my dd’s have ASD (he does know this). I’m not sure if I am meant to be cooking for him or not, might get a few bits to go on the bbq just in case. Now on date 3 (kind of 4 if you include the time he showed up at the house), this is usually when it all goes wrong.

Kinunir · 03/07/2018 08:29

this is usually when it all goes wrong

Don't self-sabotage yourself Love, it's going well so far. Can you swap that thought for the memory of last time you met him?

OP posts:
Carouselfish · 03/07/2018 08:47

Definitely both after a serious thing. We've both been single 4 years waiting for the right thing to come along.
Trouble with going with instincts is, I'd have been in bed with him yesterday as attraction is really overriding sense! I guess it is silly to ask if there's an...um...expected wait time! But I'm fighting with myself about it!
I nearly put a spanner in the works yesterday via texts. So hard to tell tone sometimes. :( Luckily recovered it. I am failing at rule number 3!

Lovemusic33 · 03/07/2018 09:04

Thanks Kin I will try and stay positive and try and remind myself how great the last date was. I just find this bit hard work, trying hard not to over invest in case I get hurt (again) but feeling excited that things are going well. Let’s hope it continues.

Car I don’t think there’s any expected time wait, I always try and play it cool for a few dates but it never works, I only got to date 2 Hmm ,maybe send a couple cheeky messages but not too full on (just sugestive)?

Kinunir · 03/07/2018 09:05

There's no expected wait time Carousel and if anyone tells you otherwise they are just trying to conform to societal norms, most of which are BS and male biased.

Go with the flow, don't overthink it, be safe, know what you want and the right time will present itself.

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 03/07/2018 09:36

Carousel, if you've had the conversations about what you are both looking for and it seems to match and you feel comfortable with him, then the right time is when you feel it is right.

I haven't had this for a loooooooooooooooooooooooooong time, but there is "lust blindness", which is why I asked if you'd had all the sensible conversations about what you both want etc, otherwise you can forget that stuff and just DTD because you are so hot for each other and then realise that the only thing that connects you is lust!!! IYSWIM.

Love that's great that MrCampervan is coming over later. I'm sure it will be fine - don't get too stressed about it (I know, easier said than done!).

ignoring that's so grim!

HalfDutch that's funny about trains. Did you end up 'catching' either train in the end?!

I have a request for a meet up for coffee from MrCyclist. No sticky-out tummy in his photos! Grin

Lovemusic33 · 03/07/2018 09:48

Franticly cleaning the house, not sure why Grin

Trying to keep busy and relax about later.

Haven’t even heard from him yet today, now worrying that he won’t turn up, oh well, at least my house has finally had a clean Grin

BendyLikeBeckham · 03/07/2018 09:57

hope it goes swimmingly lovemusic

MyUsername200 · 03/07/2018 10:02

love I think this is the perfect time to say don't get too over invested right now (I know it's hard though!) not saying this will happen but if you're expecting him to back off because of previous men then it may come across in your body language towards him. Keep positive. Smile

Kinunir · 03/07/2018 10:23

Yeah, come on half, we all want to know if there was any choo-choo last night Grin

OP posts:
HalfDutchGirl · 03/07/2018 11:13

kin and Margo No, no trains stopping at my station last night.

Think Mr Italian was playing (haven't heard from him today which is unusual) and Mr Local (swoon!) text first thing suggesting Thursday evening, after a lot of consideration (not!) I said yes. Reckon it's just a booty call but I don't care (I'm so bad!! - am I bad??), we got on so well on our date that I'm hoping it may turn into more but am remembering rule no. 3. Everyone has permission to slap me if I forget!

Weirdly, this morning I also was asked out by Mr Talkative and Mr Plaster gave me his number. Maybe typing my gripes on here woke up the OLD fairy.

Love Hope all goes well with Mr Campervan

Esk - Can you not suggest a coffee or something after the gym? Or failing that just corner him at the water fountain?

Car No expected wait time in my book but just be prepared for a constant re-read of the rules

Dan89 Oh yes, I like the idea of a scoring system for the dreadful profile pics! How does the population carry on with some of the awful specimens on Tinder?? There must be an opposite to the phrase eye-candy?

dogzdinner · 03/07/2018 11:22

Talking of profile pics - I'm starting to see more male pouts. I'm not sure if they are ironic or actually think they look good?

MeTigger · 03/07/2018 12:26

Ok, it must have been the great tips from @chocolate123 I’ve suddenly had a massive wave of male attention. One of them is an absolutely gorgeous 27 year old who says he likes older women, we’ve messaged lots and he’s calling later but it would be so wrong, wouldn’t it?............

ValMc1 · 03/07/2018 12:59

Tigger What is the age difference - I'm thinking about a younger one too!

MeTigger · 03/07/2018 13:06

@valmc1 - 18 years!! Eek! How about you?

HalfDutchGirl · 03/07/2018 13:07

Me and Val Whats the age difference? My ex partner was 8 years younger than me, I've a good friend who is 10 years older than her partner, I'd consider going as low as 12 years younger. I think a lot depends on your age too!

I did have an offer a few years back (which I turned down!) from someone who was the same age as my son (23 at the time!). To me that just wouldn't be right!!! But bottom line is (as far as I'm concerned) that if it feels right it's ok!!