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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

999 replies

Kinunir · 21/06/2018 10:16

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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BendyLikeBeckham · 27/06/2018 21:24

kin happy to do the same. Might as well since I'm in full on flirt mode tonight. haha.

You'd all laugh if you knew what I did for a living.

dingdang · 27/06/2018 21:24

Ah thanks for sharing the iron definition!

I got a few messages today one started if you want a date with a shrek lookalike then get in touch! I thought it was quite funny actually.

My OLD profile is short and sweet- along the lines of I'm old and fat and love a good old chat.. it seems to be working well so far.

I'm quite keen on this guy who I've met a couple of times. We had a good long chat the other week, feels very easy and fun at the moment.

I'm determined to date older rather than younger - my ex was quite a bit younger and I'm interested to see what dating an older guy is like!

Keep getting messages from the young and pretty ones though I know they are no good there's no harm in a little chat is there!?!

ValMc1 · 27/06/2018 21:25

Kin I'd better book the seat then - it was a good one at the end of a row (always good for drinks/loo - just in case it was the last one and you nab it 😃 I wasn't expecting Adam Lambert to be so good - who could replace Freddie - but he was delightfully camp - different but almost as good. The show also incorporated clips of Freddie - very well down and moving.

Kinunir · 27/06/2018 21:26

Blimey... I'm not sure there's anyone left I haven't messaged yet...will have a hunt around though, thanks Bendy

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 27/06/2018 21:40

pudding I don’t get any creepy vibe from him at all (unlike some dates I have had), he seems really sweet and friendly but then it’s hard to tell isn’t it? He has asked to see me Sunday when he finishes work. I’m not sure if he will hwants e relationship material but he’s deffently shagable Grin.

Chocmallows · 27/06/2018 21:48

Bendy Ivwill do, but POF isn't sending me a password re-set and on badoo I haven't found anyone normal yet. Also don't understand the searching part yet. I will have another look, but not really 'feeling' the OLD pull so much.

I really wanted Mr Blue to say he would change and would see me more, I'm looking at OLD as a distraction.

Carouselfish · 27/06/2018 21:54

Just closed the case with Mr Motorbike, but seeing Mr Theroux tomorrow and then Mr Mafia on Saturday. Texting with Mr Mafia every day. Really excited about seeing him and just keep thinking what could be wrong with him? Nothing yet. Terrible way to think! And then the self-deprecating, wow, he likes me! And I made zero effort going out on the date because I only had ten minutes to get ready after a late babysitter panic! So he saw me with unplucked brows, chewed nails, flat shoes and a vest! Hahaha!
Was reading all the posts about profiles on OLD and wanted to share what I do:
I put natural photos up and date them, 3 years ago, last year etc etc. One or two glam ones at a wedding, the rest just hanging out with the dog or a laptop camera job. No pouty, no filters.
I write barely anything on the profile, just a couple of basics like I'm have a young child, dogs, I like books, motorbikes. I'll come back and fill this out properly later.
I have put 'wants to get married' on PoF, because, well, I do. I don't want to pretend I don't!
I'll only talk to them online a few times before swapping numbers and arranging to meet, because, for me, it can be really misleading about what they're like and if there's no chemistry, it's all wasted time. I avoid anyone who sounds bitter, lengthy, unrealistic, sex-focused or who hasn't had a relationship longer than a year when they're in their 30s/40s.
I open conversations with 'Hi, I like XYZ on your profile. I like X too but have never done Z'. Really straight-forward and brief.
I haven't had any rude pics or comments and only one weird persistent old guy! I've been on three dates from PoF, one okay, one clearly not what was seen in the pics, one brilliant so I don't think it's all bad! I've also had two really good dates from Tastebuds.fm

MyUsername200 · 27/06/2018 22:06

lovemusic I'd also be a bit creeped out if a guy turned up out the blue and I'd not even given him my address. Definitely an amber flag at least.

Dan89 · 27/06/2018 22:19

Would anyone be willing to give me profile feedback?

BendyLikeBeckham · 27/06/2018 22:24

Go for it dan

Kinunir · 27/06/2018 22:38

I wouldn't mind a fresh set of eyes on mine too Bendy, if you have the time?

OP posts:
BendyLikeBeckham · 27/06/2018 22:46

Go on then kin. I'll have to make you my little pet project though. And I'll expect to be kept updated with your progress, so I can revel in the fruits of my labour! And live vicariously through your dating success

Kinunir · 27/06/2018 22:49

Thank you! As an INTJ, I am an eternal tinkerer where my profile is concerned so it would be good to have a fresh set of eyes on it again.

OP posts:
VixenSixen · 27/06/2018 23:39

Need help oh dating oracles.....

I think my dilemma of 2 has been solved for me. MrShy has been incredibly flaky since Monday morning and is being very non-commital about the date he was so keen to organise this Friday. Been weird about being in touch and I just can't be assed with the second guessing.

His excuse for not being in touch is that he has been very busy with work, yet been on WhatsApp all evening etc. He's just not that into me clearly......

Shouldn't be so hard this early on so I am making the decision for him...... going to say tomorrow something along the lines of....

"I won't be able to meet this Friday now, it seems you're pretty busy with work anyway so hope you get stuff sorted"

Feels a bit shit, Need help.....!

🙈

Kinunir · 27/06/2018 23:42

I totally agree with your approach Vixen - if I was looking forward to a date but was genuinely busy at work I'd find the time to at least send a message saying exactly that.

You're worth more than someone who is flaky, not that you need me to tell you that.

OP posts:
esk1mo · 28/06/2018 00:12

love the way you described it doesnt sound too creepy, but still something to keep an eye on.

kin im sorry but that joke was awful Sad i dont even think i’d reply to that!

BendyLikeBeckham · 28/06/2018 00:45

vixen my experience is that a lot of single men just don't understand how certainty about the time and place, and the event itself is important. If they can be spontaneous at the drop of a hat, but you need careful planning to make a date happen for example. It's frustrating.

DaffoDeffo · 28/06/2018 06:24

Feel free to pm me your profile! I adjusted exbf' s profile for him and he's now in a long term relationship:).

DaffoDeffo · 28/06/2018 06:25

I'm also an INTJ. We are a rare breed!

Kinunir · 28/06/2018 06:42

I know esk1mo, I know. Even I'm cringing reading it back now. It did make me chuckle at the time of writing though Grin

Was that aimed at me Daffo?

OP posts:
DaffoDeffo · 28/06/2018 06:45

Yes or/and Dan. Think it's always helpful to have someone glance over your profile. Don't feel any pressure though, only if you like x I'm yet to set another one up (again, sigh)!

TomHardysBitontheside · 28/06/2018 07:28

vixen I had a very similar experience recently with Mr Doctor. He had been quite chatty during the day for a week or so and every evening. That tailed off, but he was often on WhatsApp. He did get in touch the day before the date and we did meet up. But as he'd been so flaky, and I had suspicions he was a player, it didn't work out. Mr Academic on the other hand, whilst not a prolific texted, texted me yesterday to confirm tomorrow's date. He did that two days before the last one too.

I had coffee with Mr Scandi yesterday. He was very nice but we were so different. Plus he still lives at home and their kids don't know they've separated so he was wearing his wedding ring!!! So that put me off for starters.

Chocolate123 · 28/06/2018 07:43

I think it's a good idea to view someone else's profile. I done with my friend and now she's getting much more attention in a good way. Sometimes to see from a strangers eye is even better.

Kinunir · 28/06/2018 07:47

Agreed Chocolate - I've had some great insight already and, along with some messaging tips last night, have already put both to good use to set up a coffee date with Miss Joker this afternoon Smile.

I don't know about anyone else but I sometimes tinker with mine so much that I end up not being able to see the wood for the trees!

OP posts:
Chocolate123 · 28/06/2018 08:30

Kinunir good for you. OLD is difficult enough we need all the help we can. Sometimes changing things around works wonders Smile

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