Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

[Kinunir]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

I guess my perfect man may be the non runner who is just as blunt

Think I'll be back on OLD sites soon. Mr Blue can be renamed Mr I'll promise we'll see each other more next week, next month, maybe 2 months. FFS I started to like him, only 4 weeks but we seemed to have lots in common except one of us is constantly busy

Good to catch up on here and see some dating actually taking place going well.

has anyone used Happn? im currently googling popular dating sites/app. the telegraph have a top 20 list

might download this dating app

@esk1mo I did try hapen but because I live in a small place and don't travel far enough it was rubbish. I don't think I had any chats from it all.

I've decided I live in a dating desert 🌵

Happn was also rubbish for me...

Slight thread hijack.
For my next date with Mr Geek can anyone recommend nice bar/restaurant in Clapham (Junction) or Wimbledon?

I only know The Dairy on the NE side of Clapham Common - great if you like tapas. May want to avoid Wimbledon - the bars and restaurants will be busy while the tennis is on.

Married I think they are all questions we would like to ask but I think if someone sent me that list I would ignore them, it’s too much to ask a stranger, they are questions you could add to conversation when you meet and if you get on? I don’t like people being too nosey but I am happy to answer a few questions on a date (though I don’t want to feel like it’s a job interview).

I need to find a date for Sunday (I’m child free), do I go for Mr Rebound knowing it will probably be FWB thing (for me anyway, I think he wants more)? Mr Campervan is working all weekend so he’s a no go, do I trawl through my POF messages and find someone who looks half decent? Or do I enjoy a day to myself? Oh, or I could meet Mr Van who I’m not that sure about but he seems nice.

Just checking in. No dates this week, I cancelled the one I was going to have on Friday, he just wasnt doing it for me at all. Im chatting to a guy who makes me laugh and has potential but he is too far away really. 1.5 hours so it cant go anywhere.

Its much quieter on pof with the footie being on, and Im busy with work and things with my friends. Might rejig my profile, but in all honesty its the same old faces.

Well, I was definitely ghosted by MrNorthLondon, who asked me out on Saturday!!!!! Can't be arsed to message and ask WTF? Have better things to do with my time but still slightly bemused, as he sounded nice and normal on the phone.

Have new iron on Match, MrBlackCountry, so we'll see if he's up for a date.

Kin really sorry that you got such a rude message. That's definitely a troll or someone with some kind of grudge. I really don't believe ordinary, normal, balanced women would send something like that out of the blue.

Love why not ask Mr Rebound and Mr Van and see who pulls through? You could do an AM & PM!

married if that's you style, then go for it. Like you say, if the list of questions puts someone off, then they probably aren't the right person for you. It is quite a lot of questions all in one go though. How about just half of them?

Love Glad the date went.

married Those are all valid questions but I agree with other posters maybe drip feed them over several messages.

Margo Sounds like a bullet dodged. Glad you've got a new iron to take your mind off it.

Not much happening with me. Just waiting until Saturday for my date with Mr Red. He reminds me a bit of an excited puppy but in a good way.

There has been little communication from Mr Grammar since the weekend and no confirmation of our plans for Saturday evening so doesn't look like that's going to happen. Not sure whether to make other plans for the evening or wait a bit longer.

I posted below on a separate thread, not realising that this is obviously the place to be Thankfully someone pointed me in the right direction.

I am 57, and have been single for just over a year after one serious relationship following my divorce seven years ago. I have a responsible full time job as a European Marketing Director and am financially secure. I've been on a couple of dating websites - and feel like my self confidence is now rock bottom. Virtually no man has even tried to contact me - at all! I've sent 'smiles' and short messages to a number of men and had no replies whatsoever.
I am starting to think that I actually look like a pantomime dame or a bag lady, or maybe I just can't project myself well through my profile.
I am really struggling and it is getting me down.

Welcome Jo, this is certainly the right place to be.

Online dating can be challenging as you have found but it’s certainly not impossible. It’s very much a waiting game with no instant results, unless that’s what you are looking for.

It’s sounds like you have your life in order so you are coming from a good place - let us know if you have questions or want advice on your profile, etc.

Jo I completely agree with Kin OLD is not that quick. I've been looking for 2 years and back to being single today after 3 weeks dating a potential, Mr Blue.

If it's a side-line in your life and you share here you can get through it and have fun along the way. It depends how you approach it. Amy Young and Matthew Hussey have great videos on YouTube.

Amy's "stop giving too many fucks" mantra video is a favourite of mine because why do we worry about someone that a few weeks or days ago was a stranger?

You may not get any messages and then get 10 in one evening. You may meet two at the same time. It can play with your head, but you are still you - same family and friends.

I've changed my mind about Badoo. Once you weed out the completely unsuitable, there are some good people on there. Currently chatting to a few of them.

I second the advice about not getting too invested Jo61 . Your favourite word should be "Next!" when someone let's you down, pissed you off or generally fails to reach the standard.

I've had some luck sending a witty and funny message that piques their interest beyond my appearance. Maybe try that instead of a simple Hi or a general, serious and earnest one.

Don't tell me you're using chat up lines Bendy... that's so 1980s!

Bendy can you share any, I'm about to try again and find the ones I write to don't write back to me!

hello I am back! I was on this thread back in Feb I think it was....

met a few people and found someone nice in March but the last few weeks, he's gone totally weird on me and I am going to have to have 'that' conversation this week

not sure if I will go straight back to OLD or give it a break as have a lot of things planned for the summer

jo - I am also around 8 years divorced and mid late 40s and it does take a while for OLD to work. You have to practice patience! Not sure which ones you've tried but some are definitely better than others and get a lot more traffic!

Had a message from Mr Campervan this morning, he sounds interested after our date yesterday, I’m just a bit worried about him actually finding time for date number 2.

One of my old irons from Christmas time (one that kept vanishing and seemed to be married), keeps liking my posts on a Fb group I am on, he is in the same group (didn’t realise when I joined it) and he has been looking at my POF profile. This is messing with my head a little, I really liked him but he kept going all distant on me and eventually vanished for a few days so I blocked him on WhatsApp. I’m trying very hard to not let it annoy me. I think I’m going to ask Mr Rebound if he is free on Sunday and if he’s not I shall ask Mr Van.

kin If I didn't know better, I'd think you were flirting with me now! lol

chocmallows I will come up with an example and PM you. Can't tell all my secret chat up lines on here or you lovely lot will steal all the good men!! haha

As for chat up lines, lol, it's more about showing them that you will be fun to talk to. A bit cheeky and light hearted. Then it's a case of, "well I've got nothing to lose and she sounds like a laugh!"

I think earnestness makes some men think a woman is desperate, hard work (see long questionnaire list earlier as an example, sorry PP!), or just not very much fun. It's a flirting game really.

Flipping it round Bendy, what kind of first message would you like to receive from a man? I try to go with something funny every time - is that a wise strategy?

Me? Flirt? Never! I'm a good boy, me.

lol. Yes, laughter and flattery are the way into my, ahem, heart.

Make it intelligent, witty, amusing and show you've read my actual profile. A funny comment about one of the things I like, or to show you share my interests, that sort of thing.

This is not an instruction manual specially for you kin!!! And you don't always have to be a good boy!

(Female MNers, take note. Although sometimes a bit cringe, this is the sort of flirty banter that reels them in. Kin will be in the palm of my hand before long!)