Dating Thread 135 - Will Harry Ever Meet Sally?

[Kinunir]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

oh ok.

Kin Are you still on Tinder? I get hardly any interest on POF but on Tinder for some reason I do really well.

It's really weird for me at the moment Vista:

Tinder - 44 matches, messaged them all, no replies. Based on last time around I would have expected 20-25 to get back to me.

POF - 66 messages sent, 64 replies (which is an insane response rate for a man), but only one date arranged and she deleted her account before it was finalised. | Had about 30 women message me first which, again, is unheard of. Most just wanted to say funny profile and then go on their way though, a few others were less polite.

Badoo - something is off there, apparently 266 women "want to chat to me" but when I messaged a few of them they didn't know why I got that notification and, from all that supposed interest, I only got 2 likes, both from people 100+ miles away.

Bumble - can no longer use due to professional reasons (as it links to Facebook).

'Alternative' sites - can no longer use our to the regular security screening I now have to go through.

Lots of acitivty again on this thread I can't keep up!

Small update from me. After about 2 weeks of no contact Mr french pops up again. Long voice message. He still is very sexy even though I know he is bad bad news. I won't go to meet him again but if he is ever in my hood I would say so.

Ex / FWB who may or may not have a girlfiend was beggin again last night for me to meet up with him. I am going to meet him and chat to him about his current situation, see what is going on. I don't want to give him up as he manages to sratch that itch but if it is really a girlfriend I will of course walk away.

Mr Suprise has been in touch daily, he is busy as have I been but I now have a long weekend without the kids (and he is local) so hopefully can meet up.

I am still off tinder and all other dating sites. Locally will be busy over the summer so going to just enjoy myself. I have several options, none are really really exciting me, but I am enjoying myself nad feel the happiest I have in a long while.

Kin - That does sound really odd. I wonder if dating apps generally are a bit quieter at the moment what with being summer, good weather and the World Cup etc.

Pudding Good to hear a positive update. Have a great summer.

kin you can use bumble without facebook now, I have just set up a profile and I dont have a facebook account
it gives you options as you open the app

kin the “you’re ugly” messages, is there any chance it could be an ex? maybe the teacher? or there was that older woman you met?

also tom as someone who dated a serial cheat, i would definitely screenshot the messages and send them to the current GF. i cant tell you how much it hurts that there are girls out there who let my ex try it on with them/flirt and they didnt give a shit about me enough to tell me. some of the girls are the type who post about girl power, happy international womens day etc

anyway, thats what i’d do!

I have a funny one this week. I matched with a guy on Tinder back in February and we messaged for a week or so, he seemed like a really good prospect but then he suddenly went quiet for nearly a week. I left it as I always do and he reappeared the following Saturday saying sorry but he'd been on a course all week - in Exeter, which is 20 minutes from where I live (he's about an hour away) and 'should have messaged me to go for a drink'. I thought about it and was a bit doubtful as he obviously wasn't super keen to meet up when he'd been on my doorstep but replied to him in the end.

Anyway, he asked for my phone number to go on to WhatsApp so I sent it the next morning and... nothing. No reply and no WhatsApp message. I didn't think much of it other than thinking him pretty rude/flaky then forgot all about him until lo and behold who pops up again on Tinder messaging last week, 4 months later, all apologetic and 'hi, how are you?'!

He said sorry for disappearing but he'd started seeing someone else and didn't feel right messaging me as well but it hadn't worked out and he loved my profile and wanted to get back in touch and would I meet him for a drink blah blah. I sent a one-line reply literally just saying 'No thanks, I'm not a back-up option kind of person' to which I quickly got this mega reply which I have to admit I found surprising. Again very apologetic and basically offering to do anything if I'd agree to go on a date with him because we have so much in common. I replied again to say that I'm really not interested, got another long missive in reply, ignored it and then noticed that he disappeared from my match list a day or so later so assumed he'd blocked me...

Then (there's more, sorry!) two days later on Saturday morning I get this loooooong message on WhatsApp from a number I don't recognise but I realised it was him. All very nice again, saying he hoped I didn't mind him messaging, he'd deleted Tinder, talking about the weather, asking what I'm up to and 'If you change your mind I'd really love to take you out...' I didn't reply to it and then on Sunday morning my phone rang while I was in the shower and when I got out I had a minute-long voice message from him on WhatsApp... He's persistent, I have to give him that!

I'm not going to meet him - he comes across very nice and all the rest of it but he's obviously isn't so good at respecting the fact that I've said no more than once, so he's a 'nice guy' who still feels entitled to go on a date with me because he's changed his mind. He wasn't all that keen back in February so I don't know why he's changed his tune quite so dramatically but he's lost his chance anyway. Still, I'm not blocking him just yet though, there's no danger or anything, he doesn't know where my house is or where I work etc., and I'm intrigued to see if he'll keep trying!

Badoo is full of fake profiles at least in my area. Deleted the lot now and concentrating on having a nice summer.

Jhene thanks for that info, I had no idea it had changed.

esk1mo It's not impossible that three different profiles belong to one person. I doubt the teacher because I met her through Tinder and have never seen her on POF. Could it be Miss Intellectual after all this time? Not impossible - she was royally pissed when her free meal ticket walked away.

Vet you have the patience of a saint for entertaining him beyond the very first disappearance!

Back from my date with Mr Campervan, went for a drink and a walk, very easy to talk too, the kind of person that probably gets on well with everyone. He was better looking than his photos and kept complementing my looks, we got on really well but there’s a few amber flags. I don’t think he has been single long and although his ex has moved abroad I think he’s still getting over her. He also has loads of hobbies and loads of friends so he’s always busy. I found him atractive but not sure if there’s a connection,

Anyway, I think I will arrange a few more dates as Mr Campervan looks quite busy for the next couple of weeks and it’s good to keep my options open.

Phew @Lovemusic33 was a bit worried Mr Campervan might be my ex but from what you've said he isn't.

Literary I don’t know if what he has told me is the truth, seems like he has been in a few short relationships. Anyway, not sure if he’s really my type, I’m a bit of a loner and prefer my own company, he seems to have loads of friends and is very sociable. We share a lot of hobbies but he already has friends that he does these with, not sure o would want to tag along.

Now trying to work out who to date next, all my irons seem to live 45minutes or an hour away and live by the coast, I love going to the coast but can’t afford to keep driving there in hope to meet someone amazing.

esk I don't know her, not sure I have the guts to send her the messages. Of course he has come back, I knew he would. I asked him if he was seeing someone. He said he was "on and off". I told him I wasn't interested as it's not fair on her. He accepted that.

love I'm glad it went well. You should try and see him again if you can. You get a better feel for someone on dates 2 and 3.

vet he sounds so keen! But I can see why you said no. I think if been honest in the first place and told you he was seeing someone else it's be different. But this does make you sound like second best. Hats off to to him for persistence!

What do men keep putting 'loyal' as one of their best profile attributes? Is it becsuse they have been cheated on, or they have been cheaters?

#justpondering

vet after his first big apology i thought “aw thats kinda sweet” but you have repeatedly said no and he keeps pushing, creep. it really reinforces “when a man says no it means no. when a woman says no it means maybe”. i cant imagine you’d ever want to date someone who thinks he is entitled to date you.

kin its just too much of a coincidence i think. i havent seen your picture, but im sure us ladies have seen some men online who we would definitely find unattractive but we dont message to say “you’re ugly”. only a troll would do that. im sure there are men who view our profiles and think “ew” and they dont tell us we’re ugly, again because they arent trolls. i dont personally think of anyone as ugly, its a horrible word. there are people you fancy and people you dont. do the profiles have pictures?

Oh my goodness.

I have just been sent a picture of the new toy the guy I'm meant to be going on a date with on Sunday has bought himself! I'm really not sure now. Call me shallow!

@Kinunir - ignore the ugly comment,
Sometimes I think people say things to get a rise. Ignore and delete.

What's the toy??

Bendy If someone has to tell you something on their profile instead of leaving it as read, I'd say that means they're lying.

esk1mo yes, all three had different pics. Interestingly, they've all been deleted now. Hmmmm.

pink I'm trying to ignore, it just came at a time when I was feeling frustrated with OLD so I'm a bit touchy right now I guess.

PS what is the TOY ??????

pink I’m guessed no the toy is a sex toy? I had a guy send me picture of his but plugs once, he had quite a collection. I slowly stepped away from the conversation and then blocked him.

Kin I had a nasty message last time I was doing OLD, someone called me a arrogant bitch because I had put that I didn’t want to date someone with very young children. I found it hard not to reply. It was none of his business what my choices were. He also said that no one would want to date me anyway. I know he trolling but it still made me upset and angry.

The people who do it are pathetic aren't they love. You can probably all tell I'm not happy today but tomorrow it will be forgotten. Even so, there's no need for it.

Putting my pity me attitude aside, it's good to see that there is some promise elsewhere in the thread, potential butt plugs aside.

lol at butt plugs!!!

Is there an inordinate number of IT professionals and accountants on OLD sites, or is it just me that encounters them.......

Erm... sorry Bendy I didn't who you were... I promise not to message you again