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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Would you ever marry a guy the same height as you

279 replies

Sergio4 · 30/05/2018 01:58

I wanted to know if most women would ever consider this. What is the minimum you would settle for? How many inches taller does he have to be?

OP posts:
areyoubeingserviced · 30/05/2018 09:51

Couldn’t care less to be honest.
I just wanted a good man

bumblingbovine49 · 30/05/2018 09:53

I'm short and plump but I don't get bent out of shape when men say they prefer tall, slim women.
It's a preference, nothing more.

The question is not what is your preference . It is would height rule someone out as a marriage partner for you? That is a different question. Many people have physical preferences. I find redheaded and blonde men very attactive - more redheads than blondes really (possibly considered unusual by many people Grin) and I don't like men to be too tall (despite being 5ft 8 myself). I prefer around 5ft 9 to 6ft maximum. Something about not feeling too small/powerless around them. I like grren/blue/hazel eyes more than brown eyes generally

However I have dated many men who did not fit this criteria from 5ft 7 (hello DH) to 6ft 4". From blond hair ( DH again) to black hair. From green eyes (hello DH again) to brown eyes.

I can tell you none of those characteristics including their height had anything whatsoever to do with whether the relationship worked out or not in the the long term because a physical preference for me is just about the initial "phwar" factor . It is not about who I want to spend my life with Also attractiveness is a mysterious thing for me and I can find people attractive who are not strictly 'my type'

Do people really say 'I don't find you attractive because you have 'blue eyes' ot are too tall/short etc" That is weird to me. For me attractiveness is about the "whole package"

TheBogWitchIsBack · 30/05/2018 09:53

now I realise than there are people out there who have been laughing at us behind our back all this time.....
I can safely say no one is laughing at you any more than if you were with a man with h ginger hair or had a beard.
It doesn't fucking matter it's a personal preference.
I honestly can't believe what I'm reading. Women are not supposed to have a preference because it hurts the men's feelings and they get angry??

RedPandaMama · 30/05/2018 09:54

I'm just over 5'8 and DP is only maybe 5'9 or 5'10, we're the same height in shoes. Not a problem.

ForTheLoveOfCrispyCreme · 30/05/2018 09:55

Why does height come into the question??

Do I love him?
Does he love me?
Do we want the same things from life?
Does he treat me well?
Much more important questions than than yours when deciding on who to spend your life with!

Lanaa · 30/05/2018 09:57

I don't find short men attractive. It's just personal preference, nothing to do with being a twat. On the few occasions that I've dated shorter blokes (anything shorter than my 5'11") It hasn't ended well. I realise it's not a scientific study but short man syndrome is real!

I dgaf about what other people go for. If you're 6' and have a 5' bloke then good for you. Telling someone what they should and shouldn't be attracted to is ridiculous.

firehousedog · 30/05/2018 09:59

Spot on ForTheLove

People completely ruling out someone because of their height is immature. Who knows, that guy you past up on maybe the most hilariously funny, caring, rich and hung like a shire horse man out there, but you've missed out because you are shallow.

MaryThorne · 30/05/2018 10:03

I would've said no before I met DH but he is 5'6" and I am 5'7" Grin

Shiftymake · 30/05/2018 10:05

All the guys bar one has been 6' + I am 5'8" but I haven't actively searched for guys taller then me, I just don't find short guys attractive.

blaaake · 30/05/2018 10:05

Nope, and I'm 5'10. When I was 'dating' I wouldn't go near a man under 6 foot. Worked out well as DH is 6'2 Grin

dirtybadger · 30/05/2018 10:06

I didnt used to find shorter men/women attractive. Im 5'6, ex was 6'3, current DP is 5'10/11 and when we started dating I would have considered them short. I think I was insecure about my feminitity or something being naturally broad, etc. Now I have started a sport which means I am going to be stronger and heavier than a lot of untrained men and any woman who isnt into the same thing. I have found that my new acceptance of being strong and "big" means that height and feeling small is now irrelevant. I would happily date someone with dwarfism if I was single. There are men out there the other side of the coin in here, who wouldnt date a woman taller/bigger/stronger.

You can say its "just a preferences", but preferences do come from somewhere. I dont think its wrong to have them necessarily...but it's worth reflecting on how they came to me.

Liberation1 · 30/05/2018 10:07

Dismissing someone like my friend does who is good looking/lovely person/kind/good father and who you have a spark with just because they are not tall is being a twat.

It's fine to not fancy someone who is good looking or some other preference but to dismiss someone who could be the same person and you had the same spark with but wouldn't consider them unless they were 6 inches taller is twattish and just shooting yourself in the foot. Hence why my friend constantly complains about being single but won't consider perfectly lovely men who she might gain a spark with because they don't meet her height expectations is silly.

It's not about preferring taller men it's about dismissing perfectly good men because they are shorter.

eggncress · 30/05/2018 10:09

A man could be your soul mate in every way but height so that would mean not marrying him ?Hmm
We can’t judge people by sex or skin colour but we can by height?
At the very least that’s soooo shallow !

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 30/05/2018 10:10

I prefer taller men, always have. I'm 5'4 and my husband is just over 6 foot. I just find that more attractive, I like his broad shoulders and larger frame.
I did once date a guy who was 5'3 and though I wasn't initially attracted my attraction grew over time. However he was very petite and yes it's shallow but it did put me off if I'm being 100% honest.

BitOutOfPractice · 30/05/2018 10:13

Height is the last bastion of horrible sterotyping on MN. We've already had the "all shorter men are angry" shit spouted here. Change "shorter" for "black" or "gay" or "tattooed" any other non-changable attribute (or even changeable for that matter) and there'd be uproar. But it seems shorter men are fair game Confused

This one in particular makes just shake my head

I’m 5’7 and need at least 6’2-6’4

Need? Right!

Perhaps I should come on here and say all men over 6' are cheating arseholes based on my 6'4" ex

And in answer to the OP, yes I would. If he were the right man

SchnitzelVonKrumm · 30/05/2018 10:14

I'm 5'9"so the pool of men taller than me is fairly limited anyway but I tend to go for partners who are slightly taller - 5'11" to 6'. Any bigger and I feel like a shortarse, which just isn't me!

I have a number of petite friends who insist they could only date someone over 6' when their partners are barely taller than me though so I reckon most men lie about their height and women buy it Hmm

Liberation1 · 30/05/2018 10:14

In fact it is balmy thinking!

Here's joe, you fancy joe and you hit it off round friends house for drinks. You sit and chat to him for 2 hours and really have a spark. Joe is kind, funny and interesting.

Joe stands up and he's a shorter man. You say "oh sorry I prefer taller men."

Joe being the exact same person stands up and he's 6ft tall.

You say "would you like to go for a drink sometime.."

Same man, same spark, same lovely personality but a few inches in height difference between each scenario. You dismiss this man you liked before you knew his height because of a few inches in height. More fool you is what I say.

Gingerninj · 30/05/2018 10:18

DH is 5'8 not very tall for a man but i'm 4'11 so he's quite a bit taller than me, not that his height was why i married him. If he was the same height as me I still would have

MinorRSole · 30/05/2018 10:20

Dh and I are the exact same height, it's actually very handy (not having to move the seat in the car being one positive!). I've dated shorter men but never anyone significantly taller. It's not a preference I don't think, I've never really thought about it.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 30/05/2018 10:21

My DP is exactly the same height as me, not a problem.
Intelligence and humour are the most attractive things to me (and not being a shallow person obsessed with looks)

GMtoBe · 30/05/2018 10:26

My husband is 5ft8 and I'm 5ft11. Doesn't bother me in the slightest and I think it's odd that some people would be bothered by it!

sunshineonarainyday321 · 30/05/2018 10:30

I'd never marry someone my height, I'm only 5ft 4 though so I'm pretty small. I'd never go for anyone under 5ft 10, 6 foot is my ideal. My husband is 5ft 10, so he's just tall enough, I can wear heels and he's still taller. I once dated someone 6ft 4, he was just too tall for me even in heels.

One of my best friends is 5ft 10, her husband is the same height, it doesn't look odd unless she wears heels. She always went for very tall men when we were at uni, I always thought she'd marry someone 6ft 4 plus, so I was surprised when I first met her husband.

MinaPaws · 30/05/2018 10:31

I happened to marry a tall man but would happily have married a man as short as me (5'4") if he'd been the right person.

Until I met DH I tended to be more attracted to shorter men and most of my boyfriends before DH were only a couple of inches taller than me.

Pandora79 · 30/05/2018 10:39

It's fine to not fancy someone who is good looking or some other preference but to dismiss someone who could be the same person and you had the same spark with but wouldn't consider them unless they were 6 inches taller is twattish and just shooting yourself in the foot.*

No it's not. Not always, anyway. I married a man I loved. But there was never that sexual attraction. I thought it didn't matter. But it did. In the long run. The fact that I didn't fancy him was a problem. He wasn't my usual type (not just height).

My now OH can make my fancy gallop by just looking at me. He is definitely the type I am naturally attracted to. Tall, dark, wide shoulders etc. It's made me realise that fancying someone IS important in a ltr.

Magpiemagpie · 30/05/2018 10:44

No couldn’t
I did date a few guy that were a tiny bit taller than me (5ft6 ) but I felt uncomfortable but this was when I was in my early twenties

My DH is 6ft3 ,so pretty tall but I love that he is tall but h is also in proportion body wise
Previous boyfriends were all over 6ft