NC (No Contact) Thread #12: Realising our self worth and reclaiming our lives free from fuckwittage

[LiteraryDevil]

A thread for anyone going/maintaining/struggling with/succeeding in going NC with someone for whatever reason. No judgement, just lots of support. All different situations welcome.

Many of us have found <a class="break-all" href="http://go.mumsnet.com/?xs=1&id=470X1554755&url=www.baggagereclaim.co.uk" target="_blank">www.baggagereclaim.co.uk useful, worth a look for helpful articles and podcasts

The training certificate is administrate a morphene based rescue medication if she goes into status epilepticus. He could kill her if given incorrectly

I hope you have a great time on your dates tonight, it will give you a boost.

I’ve really had to sit on my hands today. I find myself wanting to message him saying exactly what I think of how he’s treating me then I wonder if I should text and ask to speak to him. I’d ring but I can imagine him there with friends and maybe them laughing at me. Then I find myself thinking I should message the other woman he’s been seeing who i only found out about recently, she knows nothing about me and thinks he’s spent the majority of the last year just around her, waiting for her to be ready for a relationship.

I hate feeling like this, it seems to hurt more rather than less.

Dimael "Love never ends, we'll always be together, together in electric dreams." he's fucking with your head, ignore him.

@Wanthimomuch
I had these thoughts.
To the other woman - you'll look like the crazy ex that can't let go.
And if it did change anything what will it achieve? Him coming back to mess you up a little more until he's bored again?
Be strong please. Don't do what I did.
I messaged and it fucked me up. I got nowhere. It won't change a thing. You feel shit, but you'll feel even worse if you do it.
I know I am one to talk - but all day I've told myself - if he wants to talk, he will call. If he wants to fix things he will be grown and speak up.
Be strong. You can do this.
Do not message him. It will ruin you a little more xxx

@want listen to @baby, poor @baby has been through it all

Thank you Baby, I keep thinking that if I get in touch again he will reply. But then do I really need a response as to why,? He's lied to me, cheated on me, excluded me from his daily life, kept me hanging on by blowing hot and cold constantly, cleverly criticised me to wreck my confidence, cancelled dates repeatedly, treated me later on as a booty call and only seen me at his for sex.

I'm telling myself it's because I need answers but really it's because I'm craving contact with him, I want him to give me a reason, tell me he only wants me, kiss me and for it all to go away. I want someone whose eyes light up when they see me like Harry's just did when meghan walked down the aisle. NCs eyes were like that in the picture of him and his other woman. Part of me wants to genuinely warn her. The other part wants to show him he has lost his hold on me and I won't put up with it. She would end it I'm certain if she knew he'd been sleeping with me along. He says they were platonic but the photo was intimate.

@Wanthimomuch
I know, I know how hard it is. I know everyday you want to message and he might just reply. You'll feel elated that's he taking time to message you. Then later you'll realise that message was bullshit and hardly worth sending trust me! It happened to me this weekend

You'll keep telling yourself you need answers because you think that telling yourself that's the only reason you holding on. When it's not, your holding on because you are hopeful he might see the error his poor treatment - and be everything you want him to be. He will not.
Hope is a dangerous thing with men like this.

My darling, believe me. Because I've had to tell myself this, and my friends have told me, the girls on this post have told me - he is not worth it.
You are worth so much more, and you will only delay your own happiness. You are the only one right now that is stopping any happiness and closure.

Don't contact her. Please. Leave them alone. Do not allow yourself to be that crazy girl.
Because that's all you will be, the crazy ex trying to ruin someone else's happiness because you can't have him.

You will get through this, you will move on.
Look at this thread - they're going on dates!! When they thought they never would!
It's possible it's positive

Please. Don't make my mistake and ruin your hard work and message him to be made to feel even worse.

His silence is your answer.

💕

Listen to baby and baby make sure you take your own advice there!! 😉

Thank you Baby, you’re right. I don’t want to be the crazy ex trying to wreck his relationship. I want to have my head held high so that if I ever come across him again, I can watch him squirm over his treatment of me. I don’t want to think of him as a lonely old man and think I had a hand in that by speaking to this other woman. I will as you said look like I’m trying to wreck his happiness purely because he doesn’t want me.

If I’m truly honest with myself, I think I’m trying to provoke a response from him, somehow. I’m expecting a response to make me feel better but it won’t. The truth is the signs were there from six weeks in (as the act stopped) but I ignored my gut time and time again and got swayed by his personality, lifestyle, looks, and unavailability. I was sure his friend was more than that but believed him when he said he was just helping her through a tough time. My instinct back then was that he was using me while waiting for her and I was right.

I know in time I’ll get over it. It’s the finality of it that floors me everytime.

Hey girls. Still on my date. It was as expected. He’s cute but not really for me but I’m having a fairly good time, he’s good to chat to so I would meet him again but probably not as a romantic thing x

@meow cute is good? And good to chat is also good?

Heard from my nc yesterday and we’ve been texting today & yesterday. But having 30 days nc has given me perspective on our relationship. He wouldn’t commit and that’s what I wanted and I’ve realised that there are other men out there that I can have dates with and potentially get the commitment I want. And I do love Tinder if only for talking and occasional dates.

I would do you think you can still just take or leave him now? Or has it made you want him again?

Evening all.. I'm behind with the thread again.Hope everyone
is doing ok and dates go well.
I'm not feeling so good. I'm lonely. The royal wedding made me fee more lonely and reminisce.
Sounds silly but I changed my profile pic yesterday. I hardly ever change it and I wonder if he's looked. It makes no difference though. 8 weeks today since 8 last saw him. I'm chatting to guy on OLD.. just don't think I'm ready or my best self. I worry I'm being unfair. It's not flirty just general chit chat

@LiteraryDevil agreed.
I think I'm getting hold of it now :) feeling ok
Feel ok for date later?

@meowimacat that's good though! Even though you're not feeling him... you've gone out and had a good time! PLeased for you

@Iwouldmarrythebeast how you feeling about it?

@Tictactic don't feel bad, it's chat. If you where throwing signs that you wanted something then ok, but chit chat is ok.
You can back away from chitchat when you need :)
Sorry you're feeling a bit meh today! But remember 8 weeks is good thing too.... moving away from him and you're talking to others. Baby steps 💕

👏🏼

Date over thank God. He just isn’t my type. We have had a nearly 7 hour date and whilst the chat has been great there was no connection. He’s a 40 year old guy who talks about getting drunk every weekend and blacking out - not my thing. I did think of NC whilst I was with him, but neither of them are good enough for me so it’s home to my bed alone and a takeaway for tonight! X

I feel sad though. Maybe it’s the alcohol but I’m missing NC. We had such a connection and so much fun. Ugh. Won’t be contacting him dont worry

Eeeek! On my way!!

Loo update: I can see why he's single!!!!

@LiteraryDevil 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 oh god!! Why?!?

@meowimacat
He needs to do some growing up, or he's having that let your hair down stage.... either way you wasn't feeling it.... nice to get out though still.
Good don't do it, be strong 😘

He’s never grown up! He still goes to Ibiza each year partying and on pills. He was covered in the crappes tattoos - even had the word ‘devil’ written on his hand!!! The most hilarious thing is he text me all the way til he got home, I responded and now I think he’s blocked me or just ignoring me haha. Oh well, no loss there.

@LiteraryDevil eeek update is when you’re back. Funny how our gut probably is right isn’t it. My guy I predicted his whole scruffy outfit and his personality before I met him and he was EXACTLY who I thought he could be. Oh well!

Will catch up in s but when settled this little boy who is still awake!

He was boring and rude. The patents he'd described as inspirational with great values that he emulated were tonight described as really old people who he's got no patience for as they repeat themselves, are slowing down and he's so busy that he's just got no patience and ends up snapping at his poor dad who is deaf. He's going on holiday with them at half term and says he'll be suicidal by the time it's over. He was serious. His kids were described as "not easy" they throw massive strops, he said his daughter was a "cow" at times depending on her random mood swings. She's 10. They are both sore losers and throw tantrums if they don't win. They sound lovely and well adjusted don't they??!! He didn't have much to say, didn't say I looked nice, looked his 47 years, went on about how busy he is, said he had laundry to do when he got home and when we'd finished our second drink said right come on I need to get this washing done! I text him whilst waiting for my taxi to say thanks but no thanks. I then blocked him as suspect he's the type to say something nasty in reply.
He obviously doesn't text or phone as he's got nothing to talk about!

Meow yikes he sounds delightful. What is wrong with all these blokes?!

Tictactic chat away, it's good for the ego!

Good morning all
@meow and @Literary. wow, lucky escapes there! See, at this stage i think for me that would trigger a downer and the rose tinted glasses would come on again for my NC. I hope you're both ok this morning. Well done on getting back out there and giving it a go..
@Literary. yes we're just chatting. I'm trying to be open but at the same time I'm not too bothered? Think I'm a bit depresses. Counselling session again this week.
@baby. thanks for your message last night, it really helped. Good to have support during those low moments/hours.