I think it’s happening again.

[AMillionKisses]

DP hasn’t been home, I’ve tried calling his phone his phone is ringing, when I was calling him around 11o’clock last night I was getting the busy tone, so he can talk to other people but avoid my calls?

He has a history of cheating, I break up with him but always let him back again.

I am tired of this, I’m also 7 months pregnant with our fourth child, when I fell pregnant he said he’d never hurt me again.

@flopsyrabbit1 I don’t have any friends, and being a mother to three their interests are my interests, I guess.

I am just going to ignore the horrible comments.

i think if you had friends,had some time you would see things differrent

you sound very isolated

@flopsyrabbit1 I am very isolated but I am used to it, the boys keep me busy.

You don't know what might happen in the future. Your partner might decide he wants back in the family home with his new girlfriend and wants you out. It might not be up to your partners father.

If anything the last few weeks helping my friend through a particularly acrimonious divorce has taught me you don't know how people can behave.

She said the same as you before everything kicked off. He would not make her move out of the family home (she actually owns it jointly with him). But he wants it to move his gf and child in and wants her out.

Re your children's school.

Have you heard of commuting.

My 10 year old got the train to school in central London everyday.
You could live outside the area and travel in everyday. It is not unheard of.

Don’t bother trying to give advice. The op has decided she’s not doing anything and any constructive critisicm is passed off as horrible comments. Let’s all move along to people who are deserving of help and sympathy.

Have you had any friends since being with your partner? Does that tell you something? It’s sad you have no support whatsoever

@VillageIdiotInnit I do appreciate all the support I have been given on here, I don’t have anyone I can open up to in real life so I am thankful.

People have said horrible things, there’s a difference between being horrible and criticising someone, I went through years of a certain two people being horrible to me for the reason what so ever, and that will always stay with me, I do not know how I would react to this if it was happening in real life, I feel safe because I know none of you can physically hurt or attack me because you are not in front of me, so I’m ok.

It is not nice of you to tell other people to move along it is not nice to try and control people, if you want to do something you should do it alone, I guess you don’t know how it feels when people try and turn others against you when you’ve done nothing wrong, maybe you’re not aware of what you are doing, but it is not nice.

OP, I haven't read all of the messages, but with your isolation and lack of self worth it seems like you might benefit from a chat with your GP re. your mental health?

It may be that you can work through some things with some help from a therapist and from there you will feel stronger to face anything in your life that isn't working.

It seems unlikely that you think that everything is fine, given your initial post, so I do hope things become clearer for you and you can move forward to give yourself and your children the best future.

@Bobs123 I haven’t wanted friends, well I have but I’m just scared to make friends. People aren’t what they always make out to be.

The other mothers at my sons pre-prep are always friendly, they must think I am a weirdo because I just say hi & bye. Whenever I go people are always friendly, I don’t know why this is, but I just don’t engage with them, I don’t know how to.

Tragic...absolutely tragic.
Everything you come out with is just another excuse. You can't leave and get your own place now because of the children's schools.
Before that it was because you wouldn't be able to cope, didn't want to subject them to poverty.
You don't want help op. Crack on.

As said, you are making excuses, and really not addressing the priorities. There is a reason you haven’t made friends - and not the one you are giving, whether you realise it or not. Isn’t the person you are - or were, for the moment - living with, also not to be trusted?

And do you really honestly, as you just said, think you have done nothing wrong?

Have you looked at the Freedom Programme yet?

@amillionkisses did you really just say you have done nothing wrong? You are so unaware of what you are inflicting upon your children, it’s just sad.

You are mostly in the situation you are in because (it seems to me...) of distant parents and an awful DP since you were 16. But it is time to take responsibility and take action for your DC. They deserve more.

Op have you read my original post?!!!!!!

You’ve done nothing wrong?! I grew up with a mother like you. You should save your private school money on the therapy bills your children will need in the future. I know more about your situation than you know and I wish I didn’t. You are a the worst kind of mother.

@Bobs123 I haven’t done anything wrong? I do not to around hurting people.

Yes I did look into The Freedom Programme, I want to sign up to the online course I have wrote it in my diary, I will tick it off once I have signed up.

@VillageIdiotInnit so you have this anger towards me because you believe I’m like your mother? I’m sorry about that.

My first son will come and tell me that he is sad when he is sad and I try and do everything I can to make him happy. I ask my other two if they are happy and they say they are.

Please be kind to the OP folks. Why on earth anybody would line up to make the OP feel small is a mystery.

she doesn't need to be made feel any smaller.

OP, I know it's hard but you can leave, either with the baby you're carrying or with all of the children. I reckon if you left him with all four children he'd be begging you to look after them and might agree to let you back in the house and for him to leave it. You manage all of the children on your own without him as it is, so don't berate yourself saying you couldn't do it.

Only people who don't do anything can say they haven't done anything wrong.

Putting your unborn child at risk by having unprotected sex is doing something wrong, and potentially causing great hurt.
Staying with your partner and putting your other DC at risk of all sorts of issues is doing something wrong.
Staying with your partner in full knowledge of what he is doing (even if you don’t have the detail) is doing all sorts of wrong to you. And you are obviously already hurting.

However, he has left, so that goes some way towards addressing the issues mentioned above. Whether he will stay away is another matter, in which case, read my post again.

Doing the Freedom Programme is a great start and I do hope you will learn something from it.

@NeedAGoodBook
@VillageIdiotInnit I can only apologise offer my sympathy for what your mother put you through, I’m not the same person as her, I didn’t get to finish my education or go to university so yes I haven’t had much education so all I can do is make sure my sons achieve what they want to achieve.
@Bobs123 when I have signed up I will show the proof so you all know I’m trying to better myself.

The proof will be not in the signing up but learning from the Programme to the point you understand things more clearly.

@AMillionKisses - I don’t think many people could make life changing decisions at seven months pregnant - even if it’s as clear as day that they will have to be made at some point.

If you don’t have the strength to do it before the birth please read all the advice once you’re back on your feet. I have no doubt you’ll be scooping up the children and leaving, you all deserve better than this.

I am very grateful for my parents money, if I didn’t have my first child at such a young age I wouldn’t be reliant on them. I will always be grateful for them giving me the easy out, I never planned for this to happen to me.

Bullshit. My best friend was married at 16 and had her first child at 17 whilst living in a caravan. Life was fucking tough for her when she divorced her husband and loved to a different city to get away from his shit.

She wanted to one day own her own home. She had a plan. The plan was delayed due to the birth of another child. But by 30 she was studying. By 33 she had her degree and has been a social worker ever since. At 35 she bought a house and by 60 she’ll retire with no mortgage.

Life is what you make it. You haven’t even been present in yours. You’ve been a puppet and have done precious little to give your children a secure home life.

Your parents didn't give you the easy out. They throw money at the situation so they don't have to parent.

It sounds like the apple hasn't fallen far from the tree.