DP wants us to sign a contract similar to pre-nup before mortgage?

[ConfusedGirlfriend]

Hi,

Myself and my DP have been together for 3 years. He owns a flat and I currently rent. We are finally both in a financial position to buy a property together.

He has a regular job with a steady income. I am self-employed and have a 5 year old, so I will not be able to go on a joint-mortgage with the bank as I am considered high risk with a fluctuating income etc. Therefore, the mortgage will be in just his name. He is putting £60k towards the house, I am putting £25k towards the house.

Today he mentioned that he thinks the house should be all in his name and we should sign a contract that states he has put in £60k and I have put in £25k, so if we break up we will both get our respective amounts back. I was a little put out by this as he should know that in any case I would never take his money that he put in, but I can see the sensibility behind it.

However, upon speaking to my family earlier, they think this is wrong and both of our names should be on the house equally. They think that the idea of a contract doesn't make sense if we are meant to be in a committed partnership with one another. My mum in particular argued to what extent this 'contract' would extend to - when we buy furniture together, a new car, holidays?

What do you think?

We are tenants in common for the same reason. As we are married however, this could be overruled by a divorce court.

If you are not married, tenants in common is the perfect solution and easily done by your conveyancing solicitor.

He wants his cake and to eat it doesn’t he? Ring fencing the deposits, fine. Ring fencing the entire house and expecting you to pay 50/50, no way!

Ugh I'd be so no about this. I find pre-nups such weird territory.

I was a little put out by this as he should know that in any case I would never take his money that he put in

Funny you can on here offended that he thought you might rip him off, when clearly he's ripping you off!!

I hope you have reevaluated the situation

He wants his cake and to eat it doesn’t he? Ring fencing the deposits, fine. Ring fencing the entire house and expecting you to pay 50/50, no way

THIS...... not a chance I'd be handing over £25K and not having my name on the martgage... does he think you're stupid ?

Get proper independent advise Lady

DH and I did this with our first house before we got married - the entire deposit was my inheritance money from my mum. If I'd been at risk of losing that if he bailed after a couple of years, I would never have bought with him. After we got married, when we moved house, we merged finances and went 50/50 but it was definitely a bigger step and reflected the fact that after 10 years, we would expect to split everything 50/50 in case of divorce. Honestly, if you wouldn't take his money anyway, what is wrong with committing to that on paper?

I agree ring fencing the deposit is fine but i would insist on being on the mortgage and sharing the equity. Otherwise you are paying towards equity that is just his which is not a healthy arrangement. You could always stay as you are and you start paying his mortgage, that sounds just as fair really.

I honestly don't think he's lied to you. People on mumsnet always try to stir things up and assume the worst.

I think he's made a mistake - he's never bought a house with a self employed person. He's been told your income cannot be used in the mortgage calculation, which seems right depending on the bank criteria. So he's assumed your name cannot be on the house.

Tell him you've looked into it, and your name can be. Go see the mortgage advisor together and get a definitive answer.

Don't walk away from a living & committed relationship simply because the man your with is using common sense and being practical when it comes to a huge financial commitment.

Just sit down and talk about it. Agree to the contract for the fair split and deposits back. Speak to the mortgage advisor about your name being on the mortgage. If your partner refuses that once you've been told your name can be on it, then he's leaving you in a shit situation. But until that happens, don't make assumptions about him.*

I agree with this.

It is important that you have an agreement as to how the property is divided beforehand because, if you or he were to die without wills & wihout being married your own (or his own ) share of the property will be divvied up to your own (or his own) family.

You should both see the mortgage advisor, and you should both be on the deeds and on the mortgage, and it should be set out how the property should be split if you split or one of you dies. Take proper legal advice on this, it'sworth paying a solicitor's fees

There's two issues here.

1. The legal issue. Why don't you get some proper legal advice. Its easy. Go to a solicitor who specialises in housing. Will take an hour.

Probably cost you £200-£300 for initial advice. Could save you £££££££££ down the road though plus aggro/heartache. And you will be legally clear about the issues. Conjecture on MN is only half helpful, because some people are guessing, the law has changed, etc etc. and some of it is inevitably completely wrong.

1. The "feelings" side of it. I always find it easier to focus on this part once I know the "facts" side of things, though in life this is not always possible in every situation of course. But on this issue it should be simple to clarify the legal facts. Then focus on your feelings.

If youre in UK, these pre-nups aren't even legally binding. What people think is fair a judge may see differently.

£25,000 towards a man's mortgage, my name not on house deeds, and he isn't my husband? No. Absolutely not.

I may be biased as my not so dear Sis had an affair with a man who was living with his partner. They weren't married. House in his name, not hers. She'd put around £20K down to help with deposit as I understand it.

19 years together and this man pissed off with my sis. He and Sis are now married. I don't know legal ins and outs but this woman seems to be up shit street. Dilapidated house..not sure she's even still there. Man pissed off conveniently as soon as their son turned 18. He also owned another property that he sold, I don't think his ex got anything from that at all.

Anyway whatever the case it's 2018 no need to make yourself vulnerable in this way. I don't think this is how I'd spend £25,000 as relationship doesn't seem committed, it's about more than a few years together in the scheme of things

I'm not saying your DO is wrong in his thinking however. Just that you need to think of yourself too. From where I'm standing it looks mighty convenient for him, all weighed in his favour. What about you?

I'd say same as your mum, at least in her way she's trying to look out for you as her DD, that's no bad thing

Why would you want to assume liability for the mortgage if the house is not jointly owned and name on the deeds. You could end up liable for the mortgage and only have a claim on the equity you put in which is madness. See the mortgage advisor. Loads of non working wives are on the deeds so not sure why a working partner wouldn't be. As long as you put in half you will be entitled to half less an adjustment for the original disparity in deposit amounts

Dh and I bought our apartment when we weren’t married. He put more of a deposit in. We had an agreement which ringfenced our deposits in the event of sale/splitting up and then any profit we’d get back 50/50.

We are now married (and have a child) so That agreement is null and void. But it protected us at the time.

Also, to echo others. Get legal advice. Get your name on the mortgage. I assume you will be paying the debt...

Several points.

You want to split the deposit as a percentage, rather than an amount, this helps if the house price goes down or up. Your solicitor will recommend this. So if 50k is 50% of the house price and £25k is 25% of the price, then if you split, you should get 50% and 25% of the equity rather than your individual deposits.

Sorry I’ve not read the full thread, but if you are paying 50% of the mortgage then, should you split, you should get 50% of the remaining equity. Any solicitor worth it’s salt will insist on this.

Seek good legal advice! I think this is a good idea from rnyourself ans your other half

OP. Please be careful. A friend of mine put 10k into the house she lives in with her DP with only his name on the mortgage. He’s decided he wants to split up and she’s not entitled to any equity increase. All those years wasted. Her 10k helped to secure the house and he’s now being a bastard because he’s met somebody else. Legal stuff to get any of this sorted costs a fortune. Why put 25k into a property that doesn’t have your name on it? At the very least get an agreement drawn up that states in the event of a split you each get your deposit back plus a 50% share of equity increase and make sure you get your solicitor to look at it

I'd be looking at buying as Tenants In Common then doing a Declaration of Trust. Same as if I were buying with a mate. Wouldn't consider any other option. If your man is worried then that's how he protects his financial contribution isn't it?

You're not married xso there's no point thinking in "committed couple" way specifically when it comes to house ownership and mortgage. Think of it as if you were buying with a friend or sibling as per above, and take it from there

if it was the other way round and you were putting in £60k and him £25k you’d probably want it protected particularly as you have a child. Your DP is right to be thinking of protecting both your inputs into this.

Not sure how you legally stand re the mortgage / deeds though.

ARGH! THERE IS SO MUCH WELL INTENTIONED BUT MIS-INFORMED DETAIL HERE sorry for the bold caps but it is so important OP gets this right.

1. You may or may not be able to 'go on the mortgage' depending on the specific income criteria of the chosen lender. If you're contributing to the repayments, find a lender which will accept both of you as clients.

(Personally, I suspect DP is not pulling a fast one, but is just as mis informed as many pp here as regular income is normally a key requirement, but there are mortgages available for all situations.)

Go and see a broker together as you've suggested.

1. With your solicitor, make sure the title deeds get drawn up as tenants in common which enables you to own the property in unequal shares. You'll need a deed of trust which will state what share each owns and you can have the capital input split is a different proportion to what is then subsequently repaid.

As long as you remain unmarried, this will protect both of your interests and FWIW I think is quite sensible, regardless of how unromantic. (I've done this)

1. You need to do both of the above. Being named on the mortgage would only make you jointly liable for the debt in case of default, it would not give you any rights to the capital, regardless of what you'd paid in.

Dh was a SAHD when we bought this house and no problem getting his name on the mortgage.

Infact I think it’s unlikely a bank would allow your name to be on the deeds if it isn’t on the mortgage.....could be wrong but I’ve heard they won’t do it. And you mustn’t put money in if your name isn’t going on the deeds.

If your name is on the deeds then I think it’s fair enough to draw up a document specifying who gets what percentage incase of a split but this must include a proportional share of any profit....not just your deposit back.

It's fair to get out what you put into it in the event of a split.

@Buxbaum

He expects OP to make a 50% contribution to mortgage repayments and household bills. In the event of a split this investment won't be recognised.

I meant in terms of the lump sum... and the OP has a child who isn't his...so splitting fault expenses is fair...at least until they get married. Otherwise he's supporting her daily living.

The problem is trying to live as a family without the legal protection of marriage IMO. I'd never expect a msn who isn't my husband to financially support me...I wouldn't support a boyfriend... but no would a husband.

£25,000 towards a man's mortgage, my name not on house deeds, and he isn't my husband? No. Absolutely not.

Agreed. I wouldn't put money into a property I wasn't legally part owner of.

Protecting your investment is fine, Boy, no one has a problem with it, it's that he also expects her to pay 50% of a mortgage she's not on and no entitlement to any equity should they split and sell the property.

To ring fence deposits is fine, but you should both be on the mortgage if you're both paying it. You might as well put your £25k into another property and let it out otherwise,

I had the same situation with my ex dp.
He suggested a 'deed of trust' as I was putting the whole of the deposit down on a house (so he didn't have to sell his flat - which he could rent out).
I was self employed and a low earner at the time, and I did agree to the DEed of Trust for a quiet life.
We both went on the deeds and I insisted on the mortgage in case we did split I wanted it to help my credit history.
We split home improvements by the percentage we owned.
Split bills 50%. He paid mortgage (he is a high earner).
I would get my deposit & that percentage of value as house prices rose.
We eventually married, we eventually divorced.
I have no idea if the deed of trust will stand in the divorce, but I know as soon as he mentioned it my relationship wasn't what I hoped for, and nor was he.
It killed my relationship, as even though initially it was ' in my best interests' I knew that my then dp wasn't all in and didn't have my back

Sorry, we haven't actually divorced yet, but are in the early stages of it.