My sister got pregnant on purpose

[alexandermark]

My sister got pregnant on purpose, she said she was on the pill when she wasn't and now has a beautiful baby but the dad doesn't know it wasn't an accident. They aren't together because he didn't want her to keep it but it's amicable. Should she/I tell him what really happened or is it not worth the heartache when they have a gorgeous baby now (even though he doesn't visit them much). She said she doesn't feel guilty because she loves her child so much but I feel a bit uncomfortable keeping it from him. I see her point about not telling him though, as it wouldn't change anything and make an amicable relationship potentially really volatile which would be worse for their child

You sound like a trouble maker.

Why do you want to cause an arguement between two new parents.

He could've slapped a condom on, his choice not to.

I dont see how telling him would help. What she did was disgusting and I would find it difficult to overcome that knowledge, but telling him will probably make life harder for the innocent child in the middle of it all.

Why are you looking to shit stir?

What does this have to do with you? Mind your own business!

None of your business whatsoever.

Keep your nose well and truly out.

It's none of your business. What exactly are you looking to gain by telling anyone anything - you will certainly lose a sister.

Sounds like YOU want to tell him. I'm guessing there's a massive backstory and you don't like your sister. Waiting for the drip feed..

Nothing to do with you.

What she did was awful but he left her anyway!

What will you get out of telling him?
It can’t change anything for the better, the child is already here.
It may actually make the father who didn’t want to be around but sees his child, actually not be around and it’s the child that loses out.

The only reason I would tell him is if paying the maintenance/ seeing the child is really affecting yours sisters ex’s mental health/financial situation to a point he is facing major hardship as he feels a duty towards this child (not excusing men who choose not to pay/see the child but this is a baby born out of false pretences)

Nothing good can come of it.

What she did was awful but what you are proposing is pure spite. Who would it benefit?

You will lose your sister and a niece. It’s not worth it. He could have used condoms he is responsible for prevention just as much as your sister is

Stay out of it.

Noted!

Why would you even consider telling him?

Why would you fuck up your niece/nephew's relationship with their father, potentially - for what?

You need to have a serious word with yourself.

Your loyalty in this situation should be to your niece / nephew, and what's best for them is certainly not driving a wedge between them and their father. Forget you know this. Drop it and never mention it again.

Concentrate on being a good aunt, not on other people.

He was 100% complicit in impregnating her. You sound like a shit stirrer, leave well alone and stop referring to your niece/nephew as 'it'

Eh? What’s your game ?

Right....

..and besides, you can say whatever you like, she'll just say that you are lying for reasons of your own and nobody will be any better off!

You need to have a look at yourself and try to work out what your motivation to do this would be. I cannot think of one positive reason to do this which would out weigh the consequences for your dsis and niece.

Honestly try to work out why you would even consider doing something like this, do you not like your sister our niece? Is there a jealousy issue? Have you been watching to much daytime JK style telly? Do you want your dsis's ex to see you in a positive light or as an ally, maybe you fancy him? Be truthful with yourself and then try to be a better person.

My my, aren't you a stirrer.

There is always a risk of pregnancy no matter what precautions are taken as can be seen daily on MN. But anyway it's absolutely nothing to do with you whatsoever.

Why do you hate your sister?