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Relationships

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Original poster

My sister got pregnant on purpose

123 replies

alexandermark · 15/04/2018 22:50

My sister got pregnant on purpose, she said she was on the pill when she wasn't and now has a beautiful baby but the dad doesn't know it wasn't an accident. They aren't together because he didn't want her to keep it but it's amicable. Should she/I tell him what really happened or is it not worth the heartache when they have a gorgeous baby now (even though he doesn't visit them much). She said she doesn't feel guilty because she loves her child so much but I feel a bit uncomfortable keeping it from him. I see her point about not telling him though, as it wouldn't change anything and make an amicable relationship potentially really volatile which would be worse for their child

OP posts:

Littlebitty · 16/04/2018 00:46

You sound like a mean and manipulative shit stirrer OP, and the worse kind as in doing it under the guise of caring...

Weezol · 16/04/2018 00:46

Not your lie, not your life.

Dimael · 16/04/2018 00:48

I’m sure my sister in law did. As have many other women. Doesn’t change anything though- baby is here now let’s keep the peace!

Vexatious · 16/04/2018 00:50

He had equal responsibility, in what sounds like a casual relationship to put on a condom. He didn’t. They had a baby. Story done. Her recklessness is only 50% responsible

Yup

AndTheBandPlayedOn · 16/04/2018 00:55

Are you jealous?
Is this sibling rivalry -to get one up on your sister?
Stay out of it- Nunya Bizness

Angelf1sh · 16/04/2018 04:21

You must be fun at parties op.

Coyoacan · 16/04/2018 04:44

Could you live with a lie like that?! I could and do. My nephew doesn't know he has an older brother. It's a lie I totally disagree with, but it's not my lie or my story to tell.

Lmj25 · 16/04/2018 04:58

Wow

AlmostAJillSandwich · 16/04/2018 04:58

I absolutely think he should know.
He was deliberately lied to, he didn't WANT a child, she must have known that, she DID want one, decided she wanted him to be the father, so she told him she was on the pill and was protected from pregnancy, meaning he thought there wasn't a need for condoms, so didn't use one.
Sh got pregnant just like she wanted, he told her he did not want to keep the child, but she chose to keep the baby, forcing him into parenthood. It's absolutely disgusting, shes lied and manipulated him, and has now landed him with a financial and moral responsibility for at least 18 years to a child he never wanted.

Nobody should be forced into being a parent who doesn't want to be, if a man doesn't want a child and is very clear about that to the woman within the time frame for an elective abortion, the woman knowing that refuses an abortion, then quite honestly she should forfit her right to expect money from him.

SoapOnARoap · 16/04/2018 06:51

What see did is actually quite shit but, no good will come of him knowing.

GunnyHighway · 16/04/2018 07:23

While I agree that no good would come from saying anything as it's mainly the child that will suffer. I am surprised buy those saying that the father is 50% responsible. They were in a relationship and she lied to him. I highly doubt people would be so supportive if he'd lied about contraception.

Lweji · 16/04/2018 07:33

No point in telling him. They've already separated because she had the baby against his will.
He either knows or is a bastard for not wanting to accept the consequences of an accident and not taking enough precautions to avoid it.

And yes, if he was so adamant that he didn't want a baby, he should have doubled up contraception. But it tends to fall on women. Pill and abortions.

Adayindisney67 · 16/04/2018 08:15

He could have worn a condom. Takes two! Stop shit stirring!

Idontdowindows · 16/04/2018 09:10

she should forfit her right to expect money from him

And the child? Fuck the child eh, should have chosen a better mother?

Or maybe the child should have chosen a father who can use adequate protection if he doesn't want children?

Maybe the child shouldn't have been stupid enough to be born to parents who are BOTH irresponsible as fuck?

coffeeX10 · 16/04/2018 11:03

@almostajillsandwich but what good would come of him knowing?! Nothing can be changed now so why tell him?! No contraception is 100% reliable so if he was adament he did not want a child (whether or not the mopther did aside) then he shouldnt be having sex or at least wearing a condom to double his chances of keeping a pregnancy at bay.

Its not like hes being forced into a relationship either as the OP says he doesnt see them very much so literally what good could come out of saying "oh by the way, she got pregnant on purpose"

BlancheM · 16/04/2018 13:34

👎

AngelsSins · 16/04/2018 17:56

He chose not to wear a condom despite not wanting a child. She chose not to use the pill and wanted a child. It's up to him to protect himself if he doesn't want a child, especially in what sounds like a pretty casual relationship. The pill does fail after all, so it was his job to be careful.

SandyY2K · 16/04/2018 18:18

And this is why men say women can't be trusted.

A colleague of mine told me a similar story about her cousin... except she doesnt want him in her or the baby's life. He was used as a sperm donor.

Having a baby is always in a woman's control...men need to not trust a woman if they really don't want a child. Sad, but true.

Your sister is happy to live this lie...so leave her to it.

Lweji · 16/04/2018 18:22

And this is why men say women can't be trusted.

And yet are happy to leave responsibility for contraception to women.

Vexatious · 16/04/2018 18:23

And this is why men say women can't be trusted.

Don't worry your head too much, it doesn't sound as though the father in this scenario intends for the baby to impinge on his life too much.

Vexatious · 16/04/2018 18:26

Poor men, worrying they're being hoodwinked by all these strumpets. If only there was such a thing as a condom...

rocketgirl22 · 16/04/2018 18:29

I am surprised you would ever consider doing this to your own sister.

She will find out and never forgive you and will hate you, he is hardly going to care either way if he rarely sees the baby anyway.

Have a sit down, a glass of wine and reflect on why you dislike her enough to even think of doing this.

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 16/04/2018 18:31

why would you even be thinking of doing that?
What kind of a sister are you?

FourFriedChickensDryWhiteToast · 16/04/2018 18:32

'and this is why men say..' blah blah

well they dont have to worry about it do they, they can just absolve themselves of responsibility with no problem.

SandyY2K · 16/04/2018 18:37

And yet are happy to leave responsibility for contraception to women

Unless you're like a male friend of mine who always uses condoms and takes them out to the bin on the back garden... because it's not unheard of for the sperm in the condom to be used in this way too.

Men need to wisen up to this. Or get smarter about the type of women who would pull this kind of stunt.

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