My sister got pregnant on purpose

[alexandermark]

My sister got pregnant on purpose, she said she was on the pill when she wasn't and now has a beautiful baby but the dad doesn't know it wasn't an accident. They aren't together because he didn't want her to keep it but it's amicable. Should she/I tell him what really happened or is it not worth the heartache when they have a gorgeous baby now (even though he doesn't visit them much). She said she doesn't feel guilty because she loves her child so much but I feel a bit uncomfortable keeping it from him. I see her point about not telling him though, as it wouldn't change anything and make an amicable relationship potentially really volatile which would be worse for their child

You're a shit stirrer. What's up with you, do you want the man or something? I hope if you do present yourself to him all mealy mouthed and likely thinking you'll appear to him as the better prospect, bearing news that is zero to do with you, and that he tells you to piss off.

& since when is a baby "it?"

It's unfortunate your sister doesn't know she needs to keep you miles away from her and baby, you're consumed with jealousy and silly enough to land here thinking your faux concern nonsense isn't blatant.

On the issue of trusting men, how about all those who say they want children then eventually just fuck off and women are lucky if they accept every other weekend and minimum maintenance?

I'm surprised any woman wants to have children.
We shouldn't trust men to stick around.
(We really shouldn't)

Put your wooden spoon away and show some loyalty to your sister. If the man in question was adamant he didn't want children then he should have used a condom instead of relying on someone else to deal with contraception.

What your sister did was disgusting but it's her lie and she will have to live with what she's done. Feel sorry for the child born through deceit and I'm sure there will be repercussions further down the line.

Let her get on with it.

Honestly I feel really sorry for this child. You won't even say whether you have a nephew or a niece, charming. The poor child has a devious mother, a father who wanted him to be aborted and a very vindictive aunt who wants to use him/her as a weapon against the mother. None of you come out of this well tbh.

You sound as jealous as anything, do you want the baby's father for yourself by any chance?

How do you feel Op when reading these responses?

men need to not trust a woman if they really don't want a child

No, men need to take responsibility for their own reproduction if they really don't want a child.

This is not on the woman. If a MAN does not want a child, the MAN needs to use contraception.

This is not on the woman. If a MAN does not want a child, the MAN needs to use contraception.

Except he was LIED to. He was with a partner who told him that she was on the pill. He was purposely deceived in this instance.

Spot on cherry

@GySgtHartman as mentioned many times in this thread alone the pill is not 100% so if the man is certain he doesnt want a child he needs to take an extra precaution or abstain.

He was with a partner who told him that she was on the pill.

So?

Doesn't change the fact that if a man doesn't want children, he has to take responsibility HIMSELF instead of shoving it off on someone else.

Idontdowindows

How do you feel about men secretly removing condoms during intercourse?

How do you feel about men secretly removing condoms during intercourse?

What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?

I think you know exactly what I mean but..

Would you say 'well, it's her fault. If she wanted to protect herself from pregnancy/STDs she should have been on the pill/worn a female condom instead of palming the responsibility off on to someone else?'

I think I've been quite clear that each individual should be taking responsibility for their own reproductive health and that they should not palm that responsibility off to someone else.

A man who removes a condom mid-coitus when coitus was started on the provision that a condom was being used is a rapist, btw.

A man who removes a condom mid-coitus when coitus was started on the provision that a condom was being used is a rapist, btw.

I'm aware, which is why I used that example. Do you not see any similarities between a woman who consents to sex on the condition that a condom is used and a man who consents to sex while under the impression that the contraceptive pill is being used?

No, because you are conflating two issues.

If the man is convinced the woman is taking the pill, then it does not absolve him from being responsible for his own reproductive health.

Just as a woman should never rely on just a condom and she should be responsible for HER reproductive health.

Men are not absolved of their responsibility because they believe something.

Trying to compare this to a situation that is akin to rape is ... well. Facetious to say the least.

So if a woman consents to sex under certain conditions that a man does not stick to then it's rape.

Meanwhile if a man consents to sex and a woman changes the conditions then the man should have taken responsibility.

Seems fair 🤔

It is fair in the sense that men can't get pregnant. And women don't stick body parts in men.

Being fair doesn't mean being equal.

Having said that, a woman who really doesn't want to get pregnant should always double protect. Even condoms can fail.

But that isn't the point here. The OP's sister knowingly deceived a man so that she could have a baby. She used him as a sperm donor. What she did was wrong, that's not in question.

But the OP shouldn't make things worse by shit stirring.

Where is the OP, though? She seems to have left the thread, not surprisingly.

Basically everyone was either wrong or stupid in this scenario, and the OP shouldn't stir, because it's not the baby's fault.

Your sister won't be the first and certainly not the last to pull this kind of stunt. However this is the fathers consequence of not protecting his own fertility.

I have drummed into my son that the only way to choose when to be a parent is either to take responsibility for contraception himself or not have sex.

The percentage chance of a contraceptive failure are very very small (and all seem to be registered MN users 😏) but 'don't worry I'm on the pill' is the oldest line in the book and naive men need to get a grip and take some ownership whilst they have a choice because once the baby is conceived it is no ones choice but the mothers as to wether to continue with a pregnancy.

What she did was terrible. But you will just cause unnecessary shit.

I had this same scenario with someone I knew. I just find the whole thing really creepy.

But yes, to him wearing a condom, although, STIs aside, he would have thought he didn't need to, as she was 'on the pill'.

I think it's an awful thing to do, it takes away someone's choice. And, yeah, I'll mention, again, the creepiness of it..