I am onit, hear me ROAR (occasionally)

[onitlikeacarbonnet]

Thread no.5

Hope you all find me or I’ll just be talking to myself.

YOU ARE NOT A SHIT MUM

You're a great mum. They are loved, they are respected. You are clearly their safe haven.

You're going through a shit time, that doesn't make you a shit mum.

Keep on keeping on, hopefully Monday will bring some resolution. X

Oh Onit, don't ever think you are a shit Mum.
Your whole battle has been for the DC. You are a model of reasonableness, you have fought & fought to keep them happy & homed & oblivious of LCB's total vileness.
Re bullying, LCB should be able to finally make a difference here, isn't he on the governors board or something ? Maybe lawyer could mention tomorrow that he hasn't even used his privileged inside role to address this bullying issue of his own child !
This shows it is all about just about prestige & image ? Cock

Me too, will be with you tomorrow.......everything crossed

oh no Onit, I am sorry you feel like that and I'm sure it's not true. There's nothing wrong with having some downtime on their screens and eating something on toast for tea ffor a while (my kids often ask for a "chilling day" sometimes! If they're fed and watered they're good, you know at some point you'll be back on track... it's totally normal to be like this going through this process - it takes such a toll, no one here is going to judge you. I am so sorry about the bullying.. that sounds so hard - you were there for him, and you are showing him it's ok to be sensitive and it's ok to cry.

All the best for tomorrow.

Another well-wisher who has been behind you from the beginning. Hang in there Onit. Rooting for you with every ounce of good fortune I have

Just popping in to say NO Onit. You are a clearly a devoted and caring mum, and your kids are very very lucky to have you. Wishing you luck tomorrow, and sending you strength and good wishes. 

Will be thinking about you tomorrow onit. You kids truly love you.
We are only human and have off days.
When I’m stressed my son sometimes feels the brunt of it. I apologise and we are good again.
You take care and be kind to yourself.

Just about to head to bed. Not sure I’ll sleep but I need to try.
Thanks for the pep talks and handholding. I need both at the moment.

Morning onit, I hope you managed to get a few hours sleep at least.

Fingers crossed for you today and thoughts with you x

Good luck today I have got everything crossed for you! I am sure you will get the outcome you deserve

Good luck.

Good luck today onit.

Just got to court and first here.
Not feeling great. Dodgy tummy. Shakes and my back is so sore.
Just want it done.

I hope your ordeal is over soon.

its the nerves Onit.... BREATHE
fingers crossed

Fx for you onit.

Thinking of you.

He’s been granted Sunday nights on his weekend (3 month trial), 4.30pm pick up on Fridays (sheriff said his nursery pickup was a reasonable reason) instead of 5pm so play dates will be shorter, I have been given Christmas day (this year) until 10am Boxing Day when he will pick them up for a week till jan 2nd (this means he’ll have them every weekend of the Xmas break. Christmas Eve and Day will be the only days of that week I will see them .
And it’s not done. Back in January.
I’m actually devastated.
I don’t know what happened.
I feel like I’ve been battered,

I just don’t know what to say Onit.

I'm sorry that sounds hard Onit. What about all the mid week toing & froing?
He will have to deal with their play dates, you are both parents, the play dates aren't your sole responsibility. If he constantly refuses them they will eventually refuse to go.
Are you working over that Xmas/New Year period Onit ?

. Well the Sunday nights are a trial, so you will see how it goes. The early pick up too. As DC get older/ have plans with pals this will be problematic. And Sundays being revisited soon.

Re Xmas. Is it on the basis of a year around? It does seem a very long time, is he comparing it to when you had them last time?

You must be feeling overwhelmed, but try to stay in control. In reality it is one extra night every other weekend. To be revisited soon. The Christmas is hellish, and I struggle to see how it will benefit the DC tbh.

I received a copy of the report with its recommendations at around 10am. Which is the time I was cited for.
I had 5 minutes to look at it with my solicitor before he went into another hearing.
I argued a few of the points but feel now I was railroaded into ageeeing with the recommendations because the sheriff would basically go with them.
I can hope that the Sunday nights don’t work but that means me hoping that my dc struggle and have difficulties either getting up or in the car or when they get to school.
And I can hope that the earlier pick up on the Friday means my dc being dragged from having fun with their friends. I will need to remember to pack schoolbags and uniforms and whatever stuff they need for Mondays. This will also eat into their time with their friends. Or I take them to play dates in their uniforms.
He asked if I would feed them on a Thursday when he drops them home at 6 (this was before the a actual hearing) and after suggesting he drop them at teatime (5.30) instead, my lawyer said it’s not an unreasonable request and I should consider it a compromise which is better for the dc to eat a meal at home later than ideal, than them eating a sandwich in a swimming pool reception.
But I’m sitting here now having lost our Sunday night. And gained a Monday after school. But also the expense of providing 2 more meals per week, though I avoid a bowl of cereal once a fortnight.
He gains quality time on his Sunday night and I lose.
I feel railroaded.

I suspect the next thing will be him suggesting a cut in maintenance due to the extra night/s.

Onit, can you send them in their school uniforms on the Friday so LCB can launder them for Monday.

I know I have gone on and on. And I know you wanted to wait till this was settled but please do consider FP. It will, in my opinion help you deal with this problem, not add to it. Honestly. Your head will be freer in my experience.

If CB is as experienced, and practiced manipulator as it appears he will be manipulating this process to some degree. It is what they do.

What are you back for in January. Just to review?