New partner going on holiday with ex..

[nightowll]

I’ve been seeing new partner just over 2 months, he’s been single just over 3 months so we started dating not long after him and his ex split. She ended things and he seems absolutely fine about it doesn’t want to get back with her etc.

Today he’s told me him and his ex and their dd are planning on booking a holiday abroad together. I’ve never met his dd and he’s already said it would be a long time before he introduced us both.

Would anyone else feel really uncomfortable about this? I know they haven’t been split long but surely it would be confusing for their child too.

Sorry OP - you're rebound girl. If she's asking about having more children you can bet she'll be giving it a go on holiday. Just to prove to herself that she can have him if she wants to. He's in no fit state to make a commitment on any level to another woman.

Leave now...fast as your feet can take you.

Bear in mind that if you whine and moan about this and demand promises from him, he will probably dump you on the spot (and would be perfectly reasonable to do so). You're low-priority for him and that's fair enough. But if you're not happy with that, just disengage - without tantrums - and move on.

I don't think a 3 year old will miss anything if they don't do things together.

Sorry to say, it sounds like you are a reserve for him. Just don't too deep with him if you decide to carry on.

Move on. You're his rebound. He is still emotionally with his ex and there's every chance they'll get back together.
Even if they don't it's too soon. Speaking from bitter experience.

Even if the mother of his new DC knows about you, within a month (I feel sheakespearian, nay, not even) of leaving a serious relationship that had children he is 'with' you.

That is laughable.

I'd walk away - even without that I don't think I'd expect a relationship that started 4 weeks after a serious relationship ended to work.
If she was in a relationship I doubt they'd be going together, I don't think it sounds like he's very serious about it.
Also if it was a breakup bad enough that there was no chance of them getting back together I doubt they'd be going together so soon, I'd step away and hope they can sort it out for his and his daughters sake to be honest.

The holiday is being planned with a view to them getting back together. Drop him like a hot brick. Run for the hills.

I would feel more uncomfortable about the fact he only split with his ex a month before starting a relationship with you.

Because you've only been together for two months I don't think you're really in a position to object, but that doesn't mean I can't understand why you're unhappy about it. If their relationship was firmly in the past and they were being amicable for the sake of their child I could understand their going on holiday together but not when everything's so fresh. I'd definitely be asking about what the sleeping arrangements are.

Dating/being with someone with young kids and an involved ex is a minefield. There's nothing wrong In itself with what he's doing by going on holiday with his ex and DD but he's not in a position to want to develop a serious relationship with someone else as well. If you only want something casual with him, go for it. If not then walk away now before you get too emotionally invested, I can promise you'll be in for a world of hurt if you don't.

I'd walk away...very quickly.
There's enough men out there for you not to have to deal with this hassle.

Run, run, run!

Both of them are unlikely to be emotionally healed or detached after a few months si he won't be available to you.

He will tell you otherwise but words must line up with actions and they are still in a "relationship".

For your sake, walk away...do you really want to share a boyfriend? Surely there must be other available single men around.

There's nothing wrong with him going on holiday with his ex and child but there's a lot wrong with expecting you to be ok with him doing so if you have agreed to be exclusive. Please don't fall into the mindset that some people on here have is that entering into a relationship with a man with children means that you are not worthy of respect and your feelings don't matter.

I think I am better off staying out of it for now. He comes across that he wants nothing to do with her and only wants contact about dd. Today he’s told me he stopped for a cup of tea dropping dd off and she asks about me if he’s been round to mine etc ( I don’t think she realises how serious we Are) when he says yeah she tells him she hates him and to get out of the house, if she’s not like that she’s telling him about all the men that are after her and asking him for hugs he said he gave her one too. She’s said even though she finished things she feels like he’s left her with the way he’s being an not caring about what she’s up to so I do think he probably doesn’t care about her anymore. I’ll back off just so I don’t get my feelings hurt and see what happens.

It sounds messed up I know he seems a great dad an someone who has all his shit together but maybe it’s not the right time

Yep, you're the rebound.

Leave and look after yourself, don't get involved like this again with a parent so newly out of a relationship

And he's telling you all this in detail?

Good god woman, wake up and smell the coffee. He's a drama llama who is enjoying all of this.

it's a bag of hot stinking shit lady.. get yourself someone who cherishes you

I'm divorced and my exh and I co parent fine, but I would never go on holiday with him. It is possible to show your DC that you can be friends and get along well without going on holidays together. In fact I think it can give children a bit of false hope - they do need to realise that their parents aren't together and have separate lives.

I'd leave this one, it's way too soon for him to be in a new relationship imo.

Of course he cares about her otherwise he wouldn't deem it necessary to give you a blow-by-blow account of all the conversations he has with her when he drops his DD off. You're just his sounding board/shoulder to cry on whilst he works through their separation. You know what they say - the opposite of love isn't hate, but indifference. He's clearly emotionally invested in her.

If he’s going on holiday with his daughter and his ex you should be invited along too. It doesn’t sound like he’s considering you in his plans, just forgetting about you and doing his own thing.

He's using you to wind her up

You are not "serious" at all. Don't let yourself be a pawn in their relationship

You're delusional to think you and he are "serious" after 2 months, with him playing you off against her.

How out with dignity immediately.

I'd be less worried about them co parenting together on holiday and more concerned that they've

1. just spilt up before you got together
2. she clearly has issues that you're together (unless your boyfriend is telling you what he thinks you want to hear rather than the truth

The second point would be my absolute red flag. She may be seething with anger, or he may still be stringing her along too and she's pissed off that he's not back with her. Either way, it's a dodgy one and with a child involved, I'd be bowing out until you can be sure that both parties have moved on and holidays/events are done separately if that's your condition. Personally I'd expect events and holiday seasons to occasionally be co parented particularly in the early stages of separation/young child, but holidays would be another ball game.

Yasmin really?? OP hasn’t even met the daughter yet. They’ve been dating 2 months. Regardless of anything else, he should certainly NOT be planning holidays with his daughter and a woman he’s been dating two months, with the ex there or not.