New partner going on holiday with ex..

[nightowll]

I’ve been seeing new partner just over 2 months, he’s been single just over 3 months so we started dating not long after him and his ex split. She ended things and he seems absolutely fine about it doesn’t want to get back with her etc.

Today he’s told me him and his ex and their dd are planning on booking a holiday abroad together. I’ve never met his dd and he’s already said it would be a long time before he introduced us both.

Would anyone else feel really uncomfortable about this? I know they haven’t been split long but surely it would be confusing for their child too.

What @MissMary0fSweden said

Walk away and don't look back

I did say to him about if he thinks they’d be falling out or arguing while away, he said he has no issues with her or anything she’s up to, and it’s just her that gives him grief about whatever he’s up to, she hasn’t moved on I don’t think, always trying to make him jealous.

I get it would be nice for their dd who is only 3 but I can’t help feeling they’d be coming back and have sorted things about between them both and I’ll be feeling like an idiot!

This isn't going to end well but you know this already. Hate to say it but you sound like the rebound girl.

Personally I wouldn’t waste any time of this relationship.

They'll probably come back with DD's sibling-to-be on the way.

It's up to you really,pursue this,and always be second guessing,decide to trust him,go with that or move on.

She dumped him so doesn't get to moan he's moved on quickly - in her opinion.

Yes, this is a very obvious rebound relationship and I hate to say it but I'm getting inklings that he might be deliberately using you to make her jealous - which seems to be working from what he's then saying.

I'd exit with dignity if I were you.

There is nothing wrong with the way he and his co-parent are behaving.

However, it sounds like he is not a good prospect as a long-term, serious partner for you. He's got other priorities, and you are basically some woman he's just started dating and not that important to him. This is not wrong on his part. TBH he shouldn't be any more to you than some bloke you have just started dating. if you are very keen to find your longterm, committed partner, look elsewhere. If you are actually happy enough to see this man on a casual basis (which doesn't sound like you are) then hang in there, but make sure you have a full life which is about more than waiting for him to call.

She's 3? There is going to be a lot of "having her Mum and Dad there together" in the future then. Cut your losses.

You are a couple of months into a relationship. It should be fun.
Instead, you are here, agonising over his ex, his holiday with his ex, and even when he sees you, he moans about what happened when last he saw his ex.
Don't waste your breath, you can do a lot better than this.

he is not emotionally available to you

I’m not sure why anybody would even think it odd not being involved with someone’s child after only 2 months, or why they would think someone only 4 weeks out of a family type situation was in any way shape or form even close to being ready to jump into anything serious nor why they thought they had any say at all in any arrangements that person makes with the mother of their child.

I know a few ex couples who continue to holiday together for the sake of kids but I wouldn’t like to get involved with a man who still did this, however normal it might be.

If theyd booked the holiday before they split, Id say 1- they were happy enough to see a future in their relationship not that long ago, and 2- Are they paying for an extra bedroom because they would have booked a double room for both of them. Its quite expensive to change a booking and book extra single rooms at short notice. Whats he going to do? Sleep on the floor or push the beds apart? I'd be concerned about that, especially if you think shes trying to break you up. A few Sangrias could do that quite easily.

There is absolutely no way they won't be sleeping together.

No Chance.... I'd end this relationship .. he's committed to his Ex and Child and that's great.. but that doesn't leave any real room for you lovely

As pp said, you're a bit player in their story.

You started going out with him 4 weeks after the mother of his child left him? He wont have just stopped loving her so I would cut my losses and move on, they might get back together.

No way would I be OK with this.

End it. Block. Move On.

Every situation is different so no-one can tell you if this is OK or not. Personally I think it's OK but I'm speaking from my own experience of knowing how my ex and I are together (boundaried and disinterested in each other but do things together - xmas etc - for the children).

This is perhaps suck it and see time. Keep talking to your OH about how you feel and listen to what he's saying and trust him. If he comes back and all is fine, then great, no change. If he comes back and they're back together, you know you were the generous spirited, warm hearted, emotionally secure one who gave it a go. And wish them all the best in building their family life up again while you skip off happy knowing you're free to meet someone emotionally available.

From what you've reported him saying, it sounds as though he is genuinely not interested in his ex and just doing it for the sake of the family, which sounds bloody lovely and shows he's a good 'un.

I will say I have been on many holidays with my ex and our kids as we are good friends so it is possible it’s not anything more than a holiday with their child. They are still going to be adjusting to the new set up and neither of them having their child 100% of the time- it’s a tough transition and you worry you will miss something. I’d say it’s quite irresponsible to jump into a new relationship so quickly the focoua should be on the new set up and helping the child adjust.
You sound a tad put out that you won’t meet their child for a long time yet but that’s actually a good thing for their child she is the most important one as she will suffer if things go wrong. Rushing any introductions would be purely selfishness on the adults part.

I think considering your only two months in your just dating and he isn’t your partner. I would be thinking now if your not happy then walk away and be happy there’s no harm in recognising that this set up is not for you.

I don't think I would want a relationship with someone who was only just out of a long term relationship and has a small child, in any circumstances. Both of these things would put me right off.

And he sounds like he hasn't moved on.

He’s not really available.

Doesn’t matter who left who, cos they are still a ‘couple’.

Honestly, move on. Find someone for you.

Absolutely no fucking way would I be in a relationship with this man.