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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

think I may have been right

957 replies

isheisnthe · 10/05/2007 06:59

DP has been very cool with me for about a month after a disaterious weekend away with the family, where he was very nasty and selfish. When we came home he moved in to the spare room and has been there since on and off.

Last week he announced that he wanted to split up - I was shocked. Our relationship (like most peoples) goes in peaks and troughs and I wasn't expecting it. I have begged and pleaded to make this work, esp for the sake of our sons and the fact the majority of the time we do rub along together but he is not interested. I am so shocked, as we are his "second" family after he was left by his first wife and children and he made it clear he had been gutted not living with his children (he still sees them all the time).

now, I know Ishouldn't have but I checked his phone, I found an entry undera mans name (I have NEVER heard him mention this person) hidden in his archive file in the phone. Then I checked his messae counter and it appears he and this"trevor" have been texting each other V regularly, esp late at night. Being as he is constantly walking round with his mobile attached to him I think I may already know the answer o the question I guess I am asking.

I have written the number down - do I ring it? how do Ifind out this persons name (if a woman answers?!)

Sorry if you got this far

OP posts:
Meglet · 20/08/2007 14:36

so glad everything is miles better for you now!

Mommalove · 20/08/2007 16:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

isheisnthe · 20/08/2007 16:49

no problem! My dad has a new name for him "the man who had and lost it all" - quite a mouthful but very apt! what a prat!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 20/08/2007 16:55

great name!! so pleased to hear that you are doing well...is your exp not with anyone now then?

hows the new relationship going?

isheisnthe · 20/08/2007 17:18

he is having an msn/text relationship with his hliday romannce (very sad)!

My NM and me are really enjoying each others company - he is a genuine person and totally nice and kind to me - which is what I really needed. He knows the whole situation, and it doesnt seem to phase him but its early days I guess.

Main thing is I am happ - which seems total madness as I have just read this thread ack for the first time - scary how low exp made me feel - not any more tho!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 20/08/2007 18:52

Thats so good to hear. What on earth did exp come out with in attempt to get back in your pants?
Didn't you remind him that he has 'no feelings' for you? He's such a sad twat! I'm sooo pleased for you.

isheisnthe · 20/08/2007 19:00

he said we had always had good sex - I said he may have but I didnt (not being nasty - true!)

OP posts:
helenelisabeth · 20/08/2007 19:05

Isheisnthe, I have read this thread from the beginning and I have to say congratulations to you for coming out of this with your head held high. I love the fact that EP seems to be realising just what he has lost. Serves him right. Good luck to you and your NM, I hope you are very happy.

Dropdeadfred · 20/08/2007 19:05

LOL LOL LOL You go girl...!!

I bet that wiped the smile off his face..if he mentions good sex again tell him you're already getting some and it's a shame for him he's reduced to DIY with his long distance relationship!!

isheisnthe · 20/08/2007 19:19

i already did - also said that if its been good the last few times it was cos I was putting the performance of my life on and not a true reflection!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 20/08/2007 19:21

wow..I'd have paid to be a fly in the wall when you told him that!!
Hope he was suitably in awe of your spark!

isheisnthe · 20/08/2007 19:24

think he is suitably pissed off with it! Like my dad (again) said - the one that wanted " a life" doesnt seem to have one - and I do - that includes everything = and the boys are No1 still - best of both worlds

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 20/08/2007 19:43

yay!! does he still spend time with the boys?

isheisnthe · 21/08/2007 09:07

yea - but only cos I make him pick "his" night at the weekend that he is going to have them - ie friday or saturday!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 21/08/2007 09:34

excellent , it gets better and better

isheisnthe · 21/08/2007 09:45

that way I can go out as if I would should he have them at the weekend overnight when we eventually do sell the house and he is in his own place.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 21/08/2007 12:10

have you had any interest? try ringing the estate agents and asking if they have any tips?

isheisnthe · 21/08/2007 18:42

all they say is drop the price (that they gave in the first place!) which we have 3k so far!

OP posts:
isheisnthe · 21/08/2007 18:42

30k!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 21/08/2007 19:50

30k!! Bloody hell...thats terrible, unless of course they gave you a grossly overestimated price in the first place...?

Have you got it on any websites , perhaps we could give you pointers?..[hmm)

BandofMothers · 22/08/2007 08:50

So glad you have got your life back and he is sad git

What goes around comes around.[evil cackle]

Hope your house sells soon and that NM continues to treat you like a princess.

isheisnthe · 22/08/2007 08:54

thanks BOM - fingers crossed it will sell soon..... then I really can start living how I want to!

OP posts:
fawkeoff · 22/08/2007 09:06

hi....i read ur thread from the beginning yesterday, and i just wanted to say well done.You really seem to have come a long way in such a short time, and bollox to him, its fab that ur actually getting on with your life and he is just stuck on a roundabout..........karma is a bitch and its well and truly bit him on the arse x x x

BandofMothers · 22/08/2007 09:07

I was loling when I read how sad he is being and how strong and happy you are

Dropdeadfred · 22/08/2007 09:10

and wouldn't he be even more pissed off je knew how many of us are rooting for you and thinking what a tosser he is!

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