think I may have been right

[isheisnthe]

DP has been very cool with me for about a month after a disaterious weekend away with the family, where he was very nasty and selfish. When we came home he moved in to the spare room and has been there since on and off.

Last week he announced that he wanted to split up - I was shocked. Our relationship (like most peoples) goes in peaks and troughs and I wasn't expecting it. I have begged and pleaded to make this work, esp for the sake of our sons and the fact the majority of the time we do rub along together but he is not interested. I am so shocked, as we are his "second" family after he was left by his first wife and children and he made it clear he had been gutted not living with his children (he still sees them all the time).

now, I know Ishouldn't have but I checked his phone, I found an entry undera mans name (I have NEVER heard him mention this person) hidden in his archive file in the phone. Then I checked his messae counter and it appears he and this"trevor" have been texting each other V regularly, esp late at night. Being as he is constantly walking round with his mobile attached to him I think I may already know the answer o the question I guess I am asking.

I have written the number down - do I ring it? how do Ifind out this persons name (if a woman answers?!)

Sorry if you got this far

thanks all, I am really really really well, and very happy!

And I'm not allowing any game playing - I went and bought my own laptop yesterday which has well and truely put his nose out of joint! I wasnt doing anything wrong - but what right did he have to try and invade my privacy - bloody cheek!

Good for you!! What did he say about it?

Have you decided to stay put for now then? How's the house viewings going?

so glad you are feeling so positive! I keep an eye on your thread. He really is such a twunt (to say the least!)

have been asked by the homebuy people to go and look at a really nice new build tomorrow - things are looking up - would love to get it, but have to sell this one first!

He wasnt too impressed about the lap top - unlucky!

Its very wierd how quickly I have just snapped in to me mode - I dont think its just a phase, I generally feel like lifes good - and will be better as soon as he is out of my hair

Great to hear you sounding so well and happy, I wonder how long it will take him to try and come crawling back

I only read to the middle of your messages but ... I would just stop behaving the way you described as needy and desparate and be strong and flippant (OK, I know, you may not feel like acting). This will really throw him completely and may either make him think twice or at least make him a bit more reasonable. You really need to come out of this with your self esteem as intact as it can be, and I think this will help.

Be this fun person he 'requires' and then when the comes running, tell him to bu**er off.

Crayon - she is sooooo far removed from needy now!! She has stuck two fingers up at him good and proper!!

Mumto3girls - good for her

Yes I think everyone on this thread is both amazed and in awe of how ishe has changed her attitude and life around. Most people would break under this sort of pressure but she and her boys are only going to get a bigger, better life!! Well done ishe!

thanks ladies - things are going well, just a question of waiting for the house to be sold - gone out for a few more drinks with the man I mentioned the other day - he is younger than me (ha ha - makes a change than 10 years older!) by 5 years, is extremly kind and considerate - not a shagger in the least. Came in the other night to find EP waiting in the dark at the kitchen table - he asked me if I was seeing anyone and I replied honestly - a - its nothing to do with you, but b, I am not sneaking around or doing ANYTHING wrong and yes I am seeing someone.

He looked a little pissed off and asked if I had slept with new man (to be known as NM from here on) and I told him that was personal and I wasnt prepared to discuss it. He then sought reassurance that our sex life had been good - what a nob. so ladies what do reackon to that

He is sooooooo looking for reassurance. I bet he's finally seeing what he's thrown away. Just stay strong and do NOT let him fool you into sleeping with him ( it will only be to cure his ego problems).

well as I keep saying, he is a TWUNT!

I reckon he's been ditched and wants you back!

well - he can want away - this ship has sailed - tough shit if he has realised what he has lost. Went for a smear and a sexual health check up as well just to make sure the dirty bugger hasnt given me anything.

I actually feel sorry for him, how very sad it all is - but he gave me a get out I didnt even realise I wanted.

Perhaps you could tell him that exact line ishe..just o make him finally realise what a mistake he has made.

ha ha ha - maybe I will!

how great do you feel right now?!

well, actually I have a cold - so have felt better physically - but mentally - can not say how far I have come - point anyone to this thread who maybe having a hsite time - I honestly thought I would die from the pain, but I really wanted to save my family, at any cost.

Understanding that you cant affect someone elses decision and accepting it sets you free!

Sounds like he expected you to pine after him and wither away while pleading him to take you back.
The best way to get a bloke back is reverse psychology. Shame for him that you've realised you don't want him back isn't it(all said in tones dripping in sarcasm and evil delight)

What a prat. Stay strong ishe, I can't say how pleased I am that you feel so good and I hope your NM treats you like your ex should have done.

thanks - had a really bad night as I think I have sinusitus - in agony - nm appears at the door with some sudafed at 3 o'clock in the morning! now thats how it feels to be looked after - after so long of being with someone who wouldnt notice if I lost my arm and would still expect his dinner cooked it feels great to be cared for.

Supposed to be out tonight at a work function with him, but I feel crap - but I am going to dose my self up with all the drugs he provided and force myself out.

Thanks for all the encouragement ladies (and gents) its made a real difference to me and as I said - theres only one grown up smiling in this house right now - and thats me!

Your NM sounds great, but you are the real success story here!! YOu have had so much interst in you since breaking up with EXP you must give off great vibes!! EXP must really hate seeing you so positive.

Any idea about his life outside the home these days? Is he still seeing holiday trollop?

to repeat Yaaay! Good for u, so thrilled. NM sounds Mr Darcyish and yummy, how glad are you bloated XP is out in the cold! Fuckwit!

still going great with NM - and EXP is getting pissed off with having lost the control! Am so happy right now - just STILL waiting for this house to sell - and can not wait for it to happen. Not too sure that EXP even wants it to sell as he is not making an effort at all with it.

\he has tried it on a few times recently - I just looked at him as if he was crazy, and explained in very simple language that I was not interested, and that he knew I was seeing someone else, and - I - unlike him, like to be faithful - which went down well.

Anyway - onwards and upwards.