think I may have been right

[isheisnthe]

DP has been very cool with me for about a month after a disaterious weekend away with the family, where he was very nasty and selfish. When we came home he moved in to the spare room and has been there since on and off.

Last week he announced that he wanted to split up - I was shocked. Our relationship (like most peoples) goes in peaks and troughs and I wasn't expecting it. I have begged and pleaded to make this work, esp for the sake of our sons and the fact the majority of the time we do rub along together but he is not interested. I am so shocked, as we are his "second" family after he was left by his first wife and children and he made it clear he had been gutted not living with his children (he still sees them all the time).

now, I know Ishouldn't have but I checked his phone, I found an entry undera mans name (I have NEVER heard him mention this person) hidden in his archive file in the phone. Then I checked his messae counter and it appears he and this"trevor" have been texting each other V regularly, esp late at night. Being as he is constantly walking round with his mobile attached to him I think I may already know the answer o the question I guess I am asking.

I have written the number down - do I ring it? how do Ifind out this persons name (if a woman answers?!)

Sorry if you got this far

yea I do have some RL support, but I can not beleive this. He has lost his mind, but for god sake!

cheek of OW - what a bitch!

The police will probably work out that it is a malicious report - he is a twunt, have you been looking at houses yet, any interest in yours?

they already have, but the situation has gone silly, cos I had to counter his allegations and ultimatly HE may get charged. For gods sake, thats the last thing I want

twunt, twunt, twunt, twunt

seriously though he is doing it to make himself look/feel better/excuse his behaviour (ie if she behaves like that then no wonder I cheated ....conveniently ignoring the fact you never behaved anything like that before)...
I remember particularly nasty scene with DH with me screaming at him in street that he had OW shacked in his room above pub (after coming to see me and DD professing love convincing me to go out with him to SAME pub on his birthday few days later) - he proceeded to tell me I was mad (like my mad mother she is and he knows a fear of mine)that I was paranoid and ruining it and he didn't have to put up with my behaviour - turns out later I was right and she was hid behind curtain listening grrrrrrr sorry for hijack just can't believe how cheating men behave in such similar ways (do you think there is a website cheatingdads.com ?? )....

exactly - me and DH had to take my letter to our solicitor which then involved counter letter to her (as solicitor said was only way to protect myself) bloody ridiculous as I was trying to get away from tupid school yard games - if he gets charged then only his stupid fault!!

I know macy, he is just tryin to make himself look a victim to his friends and family. Fact is, there was a tussle between us a few weeks ago, but it was ME that had to go to hospital the next day to have part of my faced glued and find out that I had a broken toe, and still I didnt go to the police as I do not want to go down that road - I have reached acceptance, its done, we are finished, and I am glad. Looking forward to a place I know will make me a happeier person.

Your right, there must be a handbook out there some where that these nobs read

oh hon trust me many a tussle here too I think in anger and hurt lots of behaviour that would never normally happen - you are doing the right thig trying to move on and be above it .....

have been following your thread but got lost in the middle...anyhow,glad things are moving along with the housing.what a wanker for going to the police

i remember my xp,after breaking my nose,blacking my eye and strangling me,tried to claim to the police that i had started it by assaulting him first(i had bitten him on the shoulder to try and get him off me at one point during the attack).he was even going to have me charged,but they told him to STFU.

i also think you are inspirational...if i were in your situation i would have done a 'tracy barlow' long before now!

thanks - i am going to bed, still no word from the police so I will have that hanging over my head.............

Hey ishe, how are you doing hon? Been thinking about you and your boys hoping everything's ok.

posted a long reply and then lost it - bugger

I am fine, he saw my solicitors letter advising his that I am applying to the courts for aditional equity, what with that and the fact of the announcement this morning about increasing the rights of cohabbiting couples I am hoping we will come to a sensible arrangment.

Had a niceweekend, went to a friends and then to dinner with the boys and my family on sunday, they behaved like angels so it was a plus

I am now being more realisitc about where we may hae to live, and have seen a few cheaper houses. Longterm alto I do not want to live in these areas as long as I can afford a nice lifestyle (bein able to buy the occasional treat for the boys - and myself!) and to be able to decorate and furnish the house how I like it doesnt matter. Its not forever after all!

Thank you for asking after me BB, that was kind. Altho I still love him desperatly theres nothing I can dto change the situation so I just have to get on with it as best as I can and make sure I get what I need for me and the boys - regardless of how much it upsets EP!

Good luck with sorting out the equity. And remember, if it helps, that the person you desperately love isn't there anymore. For whatever reason he has changed.

oh - and I saw a message on his mobile from trev asking him not to text her again as she has "stuff" going on too - maybe she should hae thought of that before

so now hes lost it all, me, the boys, the house, his money, my family and trev - couldnt have happened to a nicer person!

Oh dear - just make sure he doesn't use this as an excuse to keep you around until the grass looks greener again...

Hi
have been sort of watching the thread and you sound so possitive again now - well done. I just hate those games though - do you think she just kept him away from you becasue she could and now she knows you dont want him it is not a prize worth having? I bet he will be begging you soon to come back. That is when you will need all your strength.
Good luck

LOL, omg after all that Trevor isn't interested! Well, he really has pissed on his chips now hasn't he? Maybe I sound spiteful but I'm really pleased because now he'll see what it's like to fight this battle without a warm bed to go to afterwards, like you've had to.

Funnily enough I swear I said earlier in the thread that she would start to think he was more trouble than he was worth!

You'll have to stay strong now, especially if you sense he's trying to get you into bed for whatever reason. This will be VERY hard as for some fucked up reason sex is always more exciting with the man you shouldn't be doing it with.

I'm so glad to see that you're ok though and keeping your chin up. You still not tempted to take that estate agent up on his offer of a drink? That would really be the final blow to your ep.

no - I will go out for the drink when this house is sold and I have my nice new one, and he is having the boys for his night that way, I can have a hangover and a lie in - something that seems to have been missing since DS1's arrival 4 years ago. not having to get up every morni will be a novel experience ha ha

I have been away for a week but it is good to come back and see you still hanging in there!
Good luck, glad to see you had a nice weekend. Life is not all shit you know!

Been following this and think you have changed into such a stronger person and I really hope everything works out for you and that you get the happy lifestyle that YOU deserve and HE does not. He appears to be losing it all already!
I bet once you get your new life and he sees how happy you are he will want to start crawling his way back in! Make sure everytime he visits children you make an effort and look super glam just to make him realise what he has lost!! And show him that you have moved on and can do soooo much better than him!!!

Good luck you deserve lots from now on

thanks jenwa - I am going on hols next week with the boys (thanks for paying for that EP! obviously before we split!) to a cottage on a cliff over looking the cornish coast. My brother is coming as well so really looking forward to that, the boys will love it, lots of time to go crabbing etc and no stress! Then me and bro can relax in the evening with a bottle of wine and some good books - sounds like heaven!

well, he is going away too (on his own ) all inclusive 5 star somewhere hot

He will be bored on nis own while you will be with the ones that you love, I know where I'd rather be! Have a lovely break, it will be a good time for you to recharge your batteries.

but I dont think he is going on his own