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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I'm ltb. Help me to follow through. Black eye :(

123 replies

LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 04:02

So. I've posted on here before in a different name. I can't change my user name right now, but here goes.

My H punched me in the face. It started off as EA, now it is physical.

I have a lot of debt. I only work 15 hours pwk, but I love my job. How do I go about this? We rent, but I don't want to move and uproot the dc. How do I do this?

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 04:27

Anyone?

OP posts:
Oopshediditagain · 31/03/2018 04:34

Women's Aid.

I don't have any specific advice. I forgave the man who gave me a black eye and staying in that relationship almost destroyed me. Please get professional advice on how to leave and stay safe. X

user1471468104 · 31/03/2018 04:35

Phone the police and have him removed

Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 04:53

We hosted a family lunch - roast - and we all had been drinking a bit of wine. If I call the police he will use that as his defence for saying vile things to me and then punching me in the face.

OP posts:
Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 04:54

I've packed a bag and I have someone collecting us in morning.

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 04:55

Are you okay?

Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 05:03

I'm okay. Thank you for asking. H is downstairs sleeping.

This is it. I'm leaving him. I really am.

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 05:05

Good on you. You're so brave. Do you think you'll be able to get some sleep before the morning?

Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 05:06

I will try.

OP posts:
NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 · 31/03/2018 05:12

Even just try and get a few hours. You'll need all your strength tomorrow. Will you be safe when he wakes up?

katmarie · 31/03/2018 05:17

For tonight/ this morning just focus on getting yourself out of there and getting safe. Accept help from friends and family. Give yourself time to process. Then once you're in a better frame of mine nd and you've had some sleep you can start to figure out the practicalities. You're doing the right thing x

Quantumblue · 31/03/2018 05:18

Good luck.Having a few drinks is no excuse for physical assault. You are doing the right thing for yourself and your DC.

Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 05:20

Thank you.

OP posts:
mantlepiece · 31/03/2018 05:28

I think you should go to the walk in and get your face checked for damage. This will also register the incident happened.
You should really call the police but I’m guessing you don’t want to do that.
Definitely contact Women’s Aid and you will receive support and also advice to manage the financial situation.

You really need to get professional help when you are being abused because are in a very dangerous situation.
I hope you find the strength to take action.

Original poster
LoveYouSo · 31/03/2018 05:31

Hi Mantle. I have had professional help/support in the past. I intend on contacting them again soon.

OP posts:
GinaLinetti99 · 31/03/2018 05:38

Good luck OP. You can do this. Be strong. You deserve far far better than this.

namechange2222 · 31/03/2018 06:32

Rather than leave your home could you find the strength to call the police? He has committed a crime and it will make not one bit of difference that you were all drinking, he's assaulted you.
I know you said that someone is due to collect you but you then leave your home while he sleeps without any notion that his actions will have consequences to him
As for finances, you'll manage. My DD works similar hours with a child and HB pays a large portion of her rent

Yawningalldaylong · 31/03/2018 06:35

You're doing the right thing. It may seem like you're losing everything but think what you will gain. Did you say you have children? I think you're incredibly brave. Good luck.

OliviaStabler · 31/03/2018 06:42

I agree to end the relationship but don't leave the property. Call the Police and have him arrested for assault.

Good luck Flowers

LittleMyLikesSnuffkin · 31/03/2018 07:03

Definitely contact women’s aid. I left with my children and a few of our things and yes it was hard at times living in refuge I won’t lie- one of the hardest things I’ve ever dealt with- we came through it all of us and we’re happier and things are better now without living with my bastard cuntbag of an ex.

I will say though wherever you end up going when you leave to take all your paperwork with you- passports, birth certificates, benefits, any medication on repeat prescription that you have. Not impossible without it but so much easier.

Good luck OP. Flowers

flumpybear · 31/03/2018 07:04

Personally i wouldn't leave, I'd get the police to remove him - preferably arrest him for assault, and keep your kids as settled as possible at home

trojanpony · 31/03/2018 07:16

you should go to the walk in and get your face checked for damage. This will also register the incident happened.

This is good advice

They honestly won’t give a crap the happened when alcohol and Sunday lunch was involved.
You should also call the police if you want to leave. If you are serious you will call them now and protect yourself and your children. They will follow up, and He will not be allowed to remain in the house if you stay firm on the point he needs to be removed / you aren’t safe and don’t let him/ the kids and guilt away you. (Which you shouldn’t as you are making a good life choice by leaving this arsehole)

eternalopt · 31/03/2018 07:18

When are you being collected? Do you have somewhere to stay?

Wishfulmakeupping · 31/03/2018 07:20

Are you safe atm op

Ickyockycocky · 31/03/2018 07:21

Consuming alcohol will not be seen as a valid reason for and punching you. The police will take your report seriously. Yes get your face checked, definitely. Good luck and stay safe.

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