Does my baby daddy want me back?

[lucyxo]

Hi all,

I split up with my ex when i was 27 weeks pregnant and have been single for around 7 months now, my baby is now 10 weeks, he sees his son twice a week but everytime he picks him up I feel like he tries to flirt with me, always gives me naughty looks, always laughing with eachother getting on well, he said he still finds me attractive and that I'm good looking.. all while he has a new gf as well, we went to doctors for our sons appointment today and he wanted to spend the rest of the day with me and his son at my house so I let him, just seems to me that he still has underlying feelings for me maybe or of he still wants to secretly get back with me? Or is he just been overly nice to just get access to his son? Hmm what you guys think? need advice!

Cake and eat it springs to mind

But is he paying his child’s maintenance money? Is that set up as a proper monthly automatic debit?

Yeah he gives me £200 a month for him and also hes on the tenancy agreement so he's still paying rent money to me until September

he told me he's happy with his new gf but if your really that happy then why would you be flirting with Me? Think he's just keeping me sweet to line me up if he broke up with her but foolish move as I wouldn't get back with him.

OMG, please stop even thinking about his relationship.

Him and his girlfriend and how happy they are and why on earth he would flirt with you and whether they are going to split up is a matter of COMPLETE INDIFFERENCE to you. Right?

I get it, OP - he hurt you by dumping you, hurt you further by getting together with someone else and now it's soothing and pleasant to have him paying court and giving flirty looks and making you feel attractive and wanted. Clearly his new girlfriend isn't all that and maybe he regrets how he treated you, yadda yadda.

I'm glad to hear that you are totally resolved never to get back with him. And I'm not blaming you for enjoying the ego boost his attention gives you. But be very careful - it's a slippery slope and it sounds like he knows just how to get under you defences.

If you really don't want to end up in a "Oops, we seem to end up having sex whenever he comes over to see his son" situation then stop hanging out with him. his time seeing his child is just that - not lovely flirty family time for the three of you.

Leave him with everything he needs to look after your DC and then GO OUT.

Until September? That seems like a long time - could you get something a bit more stable sorted out? I'm concerned this may leave you up shit creek if for whatever reason he stops paying, e.g. new girlfriend starts to get huffy about it. (This happened to me with my ex.) Also if you are in receipt of any benefits, particularly housing benefit, you might get into hot water WRT him being on the tenancy and paying but not actually living there. Single person's council tax reduction etc as well.

You might need to get some boundaries in place and stop thinking of him as a friend because it's all fine and nice when he thinks he's playing you and keeping you sweet but if things suddenly turn around and he realises you're not interested or it just doesn't suit him any more you might end up with bigger issues than if things had been clear from the start.

he knows you are vulnerable, he is trying his luck. don't even go there, there is trouble there.

he told me he's happy with his new gf but if your really that happy then why would you be flirting with Me?

Yes, of course he's happy.

It just so happens that he's a cheaty little shit too, you see. So yes he's happy with new gf (and if he wasn't he'd just dump her and find another one anyway, so that bit doesn't really matter anyway).

However, because you are still around and in his life because of your son (so he has an excuse to be at your house) and because you're presumably receptive to his testing the waters (so smiling and engaging with the flirty shit instead of shutting him down and making it clear you're only interested in discussing your son) , he's trying it on as it looks as if he might get to shag you on the side, which would be fun.

No more no less. Just the kind to keep an eye out for a chance shag if one might look like it's on a plate he happens to be near to.

Don't be used.

He's got you right where it suits him , at his beck and call and unable to move on. He'll just use you if you give him any opportunity.

Why did you break up with him op?

Baby daddy.

Are you one of the Kardashians?

OP I'd be more thinking how you'll manage when he stops paying his part of the rent come September. Would you be able to manage? £200 pcm doesn't sound much even with the rent.

From his point of view, he's paying some of the rent and 200pcm ?voluntarily? but now his job is taking him away so he can only see him once a week and he seems genuinely to be missing his son. He gets on with you and undoubtedly still finds you attractive. HOWEVER you say won't have him back and clearly he's semi-cheating on his gf by spending time with you and flirting. So I'd get your financial stuff worked out in your mind and possibly go to CAB for advice. And when you know what your rights are, I suggest you talk to him about it.

@crosstalk OP posted about the rent and girlfriend March last year - this is an old thread of hers that she's posted on.

But there have been numerous threads since. All with the same advice - move on. He's not properly interested, he's literally said as much over the last year.

You're young, OP. Don't waste a second longer on this guy or give him anymore headspace. He's clearly bad for your emotional well being.