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Original poster

Does my baby daddy want me back?

38 replies

lucyxo · 28/03/2018 00:08

Hi all,

I split up with my ex when i was 27 weeks pregnant and have been single for around 7 months now, my baby is now 10 weeks, he sees his son twice a week but everytime he picks him up I feel like he tries to flirt with me, always gives me naughty looks, always laughing with eachother getting on well, he said he still finds me attractive and that I'm good looking.. all while he has a new gf as well, we went to doctors for our sons appointment today and he wanted to spend the rest of the day with me and his son at my house so I let him, just seems to me that he still has underlying feelings for me maybe or of he still wants to secretly get back with me? Or is he just been overly nice to just get access to his son? Hmm what you guys think? need advice!

OP posts:
NotTheFordType · 28/03/2018 00:13

He's hoping to get a booty call every time he sees his son.

FYI, prepare for a raft of pearl clutchers being obtuse about the term "baby daddy".

Greymisty · 28/03/2018 00:21

It is sounding more booty call then anything else. I don't quite get what it is about booty callers but they come across so cheeky and charming and tempting...But then you realise it's all a game and it's mask and he is just a silly lil man.

Bitter and cynical me? No never Grin

GrockleBocs · 28/03/2018 00:21

Yes he thinks you'll have sex with him. What a charmer...

blaaake · 28/03/2018 00:22

He wants a shag.

BertieBotts · 28/03/2018 00:22

Oh god yes it's a booty call. He's keeping you as a back up option. Either he wants you AND the new gf or he thinks she's about to dump him so he's lining you back up again.

Why did you split up? If you feel like sharing?

Personally, I would put clear boundaries and not be spending time with him with DS - his contact time is for him to see DS, not you. If he's interested in a relationship with you, and you are as well, and he's single, then you can conduct your relationship separate from his contact times - otherwise it just gets too messy and there's a temptation to "play happy families", which never ends up well. If you do want to get back together and he's not an arse (which I'm a bit sceptical about already!) then it's worth doing properly, which basically means approaching this as though it's a new relationship, rather than skipping straight ahead to Mummy, Daddy, Baby - because this will muddy the waters and prevent you from seeing what's really going on with the relationship. Your son is having contact with him anyway so it's not as though he'd be missing out on anything.

SoleBizzz · 28/03/2018 00:27

Do not shag him of you value your self worth. He is a losing,using and cheating prick!

BertieBotts · 28/03/2018 00:30

Read about Mr. Unavailable and the Fallback girl (the blog posts are excellent and listed by topic)

www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/

It's completely classic. Obviously as you have a child together, you can't go no contact like Natalie always suggests but what you CAN do is keep your relationship civil and businesslike and relating to what your child needs, rather than what your ex wants.

Angelf1sh · 28/03/2018 06:20

Don’t do it. You’ll hate yourself. He doesn’t love you or else he wouldn’t have left you for someone else whilst you were pregnant. It’s still all very raw and emotional right now but if you keep him at arms length for long enough, you’ll get over him and you’ll be much happier. I’d also refer you back to the advice you got on your last thread.

Good luck.

coconuttella · 28/03/2018 06:54

He left you whilst you were pregnant. Now he’s flirting with you whilst he has a gf.

Getting back with this loser would be a massive mistake. You would never, ever be able to trust him.

ChickenMom · 28/03/2018 07:14

Why are you putting up with this? Who cares if he wants you back. You should have more self esteem and not want him back!! He left when you were pregnant. You went through all the hard work of giving birth and sleepless nights of a newborn on your own. Now all the messy stuff is done, he wants back in? No thanks. He checked out when the going got tough. Toughen up your spine. How could you even trust him? Do you really want this type of loser back in your life? Concentrate on finding your self worth and love yourself a bit more than giving yourself back to this slime ball

TheNaze73 · 28/03/2018 07:43

I think he has no respect for you. Don’t get lured in, there’s nothing more than sex in it, for him

PeacefulBlessing · 28/03/2018 08:03

Wow, he sounds like a real.catch!

You're flattered because a man who dumped you when you were pregnant os now giving you "naughty looks" whilst he has a girlfriend?

Seriously, you should be offended and fuming not wondering if he wants you back! Who cares what he wants - he has no repsect for you.

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 28/03/2018 08:10

Sleazy man. Urgh. He wants extras on the side from you. I'm surprised you don't feel like punching him when he gives you a smile.

RawhideRingpiece · 28/03/2018 08:15

He wants a shag.

Chienrouge · 28/03/2018 08:15

Regardless of whether he wants you back, or if he just wants a convenient shag, why would you want to get back with him? He left you when you were pregnant and is now flirting behind his current gf’s back. Hardly a catch.

LIZS · 28/03/2018 08:18

He wants to keep you as his bit on the side, hanging on for his next visit as and when it suits him. Was he previously controlling towards you , are you otherwise vulnerable? Ask your hv for support in raising your self esteem and confidence, perhaps through local groups and courses. You need to demonstrate that you don't need him other than to support his baby.

Sparkletastic · 28/03/2018 08:21

No.
He wouldn't have another girlfriend if he did.

Original poster
lucyxo · 28/03/2018 09:28

Thanks for your advice, dont worry I will never get back with him as I can never trust him again, he told me he's happy with his new gf but if your really that happy then why would you be flirting with Me? Think he's just keeping me sweet to line me up if he broke up with her but foolish move as I wouldn't get back with him. Always giving me compliments as well when he sees me e.g he likes my nails or he likes what I'm wearing, just don't know why he's bothering as me and him together again is a big No! he wasn't controlling when we were together only quite jealous if a guy even looked at me though, I am vulnerable but I know i am strong and will get through this

OP posts:
FML2017 · 28/03/2018 09:30

Baby daddy? Really?

Babyblues052 · 28/03/2018 09:33

He doesn't need to be overly nice to get access to his son. He's entitled to access either way. He's being overly nice so he can get his end away. Sounds like a scum bag to me

Makingworkwork · 28/03/2018 09:36

He is behaving this way because he has little respect for women and he only cares about what he can get.

Zaphodsotherhead · 28/03/2018 09:54

he wasn't controlling when we were together only quite jealous if a guy even looked at me though,

You know this is controlling behaviour, right?

Next time he compliments your hair or your nails or your clothes, just raise an eyebrow and give him The Look, as though you feel sorry for him. And I hope he's paying for that child..

PrettyLittIeThing · 28/03/2018 09:55

Yep wants sex. And this is a reason why women don't like their partners spending time with their child AND the mother, why can't he see the kid on his own I think you two need to set some boundaries.

PrettyLittIeThing · 28/03/2018 09:57

Oh an what baby blues said. He's not being nice to see his son, he wants to get a leg over.

differentnameforthis · 28/03/2018 11:13

He has a girlfriends and he is flirting with you.

Why would you even want him back?

And he's your ex, not your 'baby daddy'

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