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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

998 replies

Ifonlyhewould · 09/05/2007 12:32

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

OP posts:
mylittlestar · 18/05/2007 10:48

anyone around who can get onto our MSN for me??

can't get on from work, and am booking holiday dates at the moment...

just wondering if anyone can have a quick look on the list of dates (the one pc set up on the left hand side) and tell me which date seems to be looking most likely for the first meet up...

from memory, last time i looked, it seemed that the majority were favouring London on 11th August. Is that still the case?
(I want to book the Friday off if it's London you see, so I can travel down in my own time and see my friend the night before.)

Thank you!!

ohsmellyjelly · 18/05/2007 13:19

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 18/05/2007 13:38

ah right

I couldn't have been more wrong could I?!

What about if we all look into sharing lifts and driving there. I'd happily drive from the North and get anyone up here...

lovemybed · 18/05/2007 16:49

im in edinburgh, is anyone as far up as me??? i dont mind doing any driving.

p.s has anyone heard anything from ernest in the last few days???

mylittlestar · 19/05/2007 15:36

Still absolutely nothing from ernest?????????

I really hope she's ok. Have e-mailed so will let you know if I hear

LilyLoo · 19/05/2007 16:04

Is it 28th In Bham or Fri night in London ?
This is confusing
Maybe Ernest just spending some time with dh ? I not sure whther having picture is good idea or not. Although at least will stop you second guessing every woman you meet i guess , hope everything ok.

Paddlechick666 · 22/05/2007 12:35

just to confuse matters more, i'm suggesting Friday 27th July in London and people can crash at my place.

check the MSN group for more information.

I can put up at least 3 people in beds. 4 if 2 want to share the sofa bed! Plus floor space for a couple more if they can bring single blow-up mattresses.

it would have to be a Friday for childcare reasons for me.

Would cut costs dramatically in terms of accomodation.....

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 08:40

Not managed to get onto MSN so let me know if any updates on when/where we're meeting.
I'm really looking forward to it already!

Hope everyone is doing a bit better today?

I feel a LOT more positive. Talking to someone who knows every detail has helped so much. To be honest, saying everything he's done out loud has made me start to realise that perhaps there are some things that can never be forgiven. Learning to live with them is probably the key. But whether or not I would actually want him back anymore is difficult to answer given what he's done. And and I'm not sure I do

On a positive note though. Whatever MIL said after I'd left obviously had some impact. We'd agreed yesterday that he'd pack his stuff and leave, go back to his parents, and for now our only contact would be about ds. He played in the garden with ds while I chatted to MIL. Then I packed up the car, got ds to kiss him goodbye etc, and he was still completely 'blank', just said he's sorry, nothing more

Anyway, this won't mean much to most people. But in the last 6 months he hasn't really made any big gestures without being prompted. Has always asked me what he should do and waited for guidance. He'd been talking to his mum all evening and I had a few texts off her checking I was ok and letting me know they were still talking etc.
Then, at 10 o clock last night, he turned up at home.
I was already asleep and he literally just checked me and ds were ok, gave us a kiss, asked me if I needed anything, and then went to bed himself.
That was a massive thing for him to do. At any other time in the last 6 months he'd have hidden out at his parents and waited for me to come running. He would have never taken the initiative to 'do the right thing'. Never. You'll all think I'm mad. But it meant a lot to me.

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 08:42

Fubsy are you ok?

Ernest, mel, pc let me know how things are too xx

LilyLoo · 23/05/2007 08:47

Fab news MLS maybe his mum has made him see what he needs to do to make things right, whether she has directed him ir not at least you know the actions are from him.

Fri night no go for me i can't get to London before dp comes home from work so will have to give that one a miss, but keep me in mind for anything closer North. You will all have to mnet me when you get to pc's at least i can feel part of it then

Hope everyone else ok today. IOHW , CNC where are you to give everyone a much needed laugh.

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 09:14

CNC is on her secondment isn't she so can't get on in the day at the moment

Not sure where IOHW is though... she's been very quiet... it still baffles me that people have a real life!

I don't think his mum prompted him to come round last night as her suggestion to both of us was absolutely zero contact for 2 weeks to see how we both feel (and we would organise looking after ds via the grandparents!)
I swiftly put a stop to that idea though!
If we can't even communicate for the sake of our little boy then something is seriously wrong! And if he needs 2 more weeks to decide if he wants me or not he can sod off!!

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 09:16

lilyloo meant to say, if you can't do the Friday then maybe we should go for the Saturday 28th as planned...??

LilyLoo · 23/05/2007 09:22

Exactly MLS he either wants it to work or not, he's had bloody long enough to think about it.
Forgot about cnc.
IOHW has not been around all week i don't think hope everything ok ! It would only be fair if she said she was getting a life before she left
Am a bit unsure about that weekend anyway tbh MLS as i am on a hen do to Amsterdam the weekend before and don't get back until Tue so i think i may be on mummy duties that w/end. So don't change it for me but thanks for the thought x

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 10:27

No problem. We'll just go with the majority then and whoever can make it will be there! And if a few people don't make it it's a good excuse for another one!!

ginnedupmummy · 23/05/2007 11:05

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 11:17

ginnedup glad to hear things are good with dp - always good to hear something positive

going to leave the relationship counselling for now. no point in doing it if dh isn't in the right frame of mind to get anything from it, iyswim. last time we went for months, i really thought we were getting somewhere, and he was having an affair in the background!! Not paying out £50 a session for him to talk b*llocks again! If his heart is not in it, there's no point!

I think the individual counselling will do for now. To help him deal with what he's done and help me come to terms with it all. Then if there is a relationship to save we can have the joint counselling then!!

Just going to do exactly what you said and take a step back and see if he pulls out all the stops to save the relationship. If he doesn't then I already have my decision.

ginnedupmummy · 23/05/2007 11:19

Message withdrawn

ernest · 23/05/2007 11:31

hi everyone. mls, glad you're sounding positive. attagirl.

re me meet up Londond much better. still not worked out what's happening. maybe try to do tonight. but I guess just go ahead and arrange and I'll try my very best. 18th August really bad tho, as school starts again on 20th - ds2's first day, so I can't really go out on lash sat. night, drag kids homme with hangover on sunday pm, arrive back dead late sunday night and sling him out the door monday morning.

can't believe he's starting school!!!

melminx · 23/05/2007 11:43

mls totally understand that doing something off his own back meant a lot to you. Feel like i am the one doing allthe giving lately and dh just been taking! I am as hell at the moment as he isnt even talking to me have texted and he wont reply phone and he doesnt answer. His acting like a bloody child and im fuming! He hasnt even asked to see kids so that kind of tells me he wants to come back thats why he not making arrangements iyswim.

So im trying my best to leave him be and not contact because i really hate to be ignored hate bad manners full stop!

But as hard as it is what will be will be and as much as it hurts life doesnt stop and who knows what the future holds. Hoping it holds me and dh together but just have to wait and see now.

Mls i hope your dh pulls himself together

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 11:48

mel I feel exactly the same as you. Fingers crossed hey. Whatever the outcome we'll be fine I'm sure of it

ernest can't even think about ds starting school! I know he'll be tiny. I won't let him go! They can't make me!

seems like we should definitely just go with the majority for deciding on the date for the night out then, and hopefully as many people can make it as possible!

ernest · 23/05/2007 12:57

aww. They start early there don't they? 4 or 5? ds2 is a geat hulking 6.5 years old, so doesn't look too tiny, and is more than ready. But I think he should at least have a quiet weekend and an early night before he goes.

still smarting over dancing bloody tina. grrrrr.

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 13:09

I know what you mean about dancing bloody tina. As I read through the thread I was chuckling away at the lovely ideas for surprising people's hubands... then when the penny dropped I felt myself physically shaking! I was absolutely furious!

To do it is one thing. To come on here and openly tell everyone is beyond belief

Back to nice things.... ds will start school age 4, and also being an August baby he will be the youngest in the class. And is also tiny for his age - still fits in 12month clothes at 21 months old!!
My baby! Don't want him to grow up!

ernest · 23/05/2007 13:30

my ds3 is tiny too. at the pool yesterday he was playing with a little girl same size as him, but 1 year younger! He's got a gob on him though. I think if we were in UK he'd be starting this September. Just cannot imagine sending him off. Can't get my head round suck little kids going to school. As it is he's got 3 years before he starts.

Which kinda makes working rather difficult.

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 13:31

ernest are you there?

dancing tina's thread is kicking off! as expected!

I'm afraid I do agree that the personal attacks are quite nasty, but I think posting comments like we did, just showing our outrage and walking away, are pretty justified! Anyone who comes on here for more than a couple of days surely couldn't fail to notice the amount of women living through hell because of affairs

Not going to comment any further though!

mylittlestar · 23/05/2007 13:32

oops yes you are there!

notice me 'hiding' behind this thread because we're soooo invisible here aren't we!!!