Not managed to get onto MSN so let me know if any updates on when/where we're meeting.
I'm really looking forward to it already!
Hope everyone is doing a bit better today?
I feel a LOT more positive. Talking to someone who knows every detail has helped so much. To be honest, saying everything he's done out loud has made me start to realise that perhaps there are some things that can never be forgiven. Learning to live with them is probably the key. But whether or not I would actually want him back anymore is difficult to answer given what he's done. And and I'm not sure I do
On a positive note though. Whatever MIL said after I'd left obviously had some impact. We'd agreed yesterday that he'd pack his stuff and leave, go back to his parents, and for now our only contact would be about ds. He played in the garden with ds while I chatted to MIL. Then I packed up the car, got ds to kiss him goodbye etc, and he was still completely 'blank', just said he's sorry, nothing more
Anyway, this won't mean much to most people. But in the last 6 months he hasn't really made any big gestures without being prompted. Has always asked me what he should do and waited for guidance. He'd been talking to his mum all evening and I had a few texts off her checking I was ok and letting me know they were still talking etc.
Then, at 10 o clock last night, he turned up at home.
I was already asleep and he literally just checked me and ds were ok, gave us a kiss, asked me if I needed anything, and then went to bed himself.
That was a massive thing for him to do. At any other time in the last 6 months he'd have hidden out at his parents and waited for me to come running. He would have never taken the initiative to 'do the right thing'. Never. You'll all think I'm mad. But it meant a lot to me.