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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

GLAM & FAB TOUR - MEMBERS MEETING POINT!!!

998 replies

Ifonlyhewould · 09/05/2007 12:32

Hi Ladies

Hope you don't mind, ive started this thread to save hijacking the thread of others.

I thought we could use it to attract attention of the other members if needed or whatever

OP posts:

ohsmellyjelly · 02/07/2007 20:32

Hi all

Glad to hear you're enjoying yourself MLS . It's a good distraction from things. Hope you and ds are ok. What's happening atm?

Dior, good to chat today, probably won't be on much more this eve but hope to catch up tomorrow.

PC, you ok?

Haven't checked G&F site for ages, is the tour still on??

Fubsy · 02/07/2007 21:29

Hi all, have reason to believe P is looking at these threads, so will be disappearing for a bit while I think up a new name.

love to you all

Dior · 02/07/2007 21:35

Message withdrawn

ohsmellyjelly · 03/07/2007 14:24

Fubsy, sorry about that. Hope you're ok and come back soon xx

macdoodle · 03/07/2007 18:41

Glimmer of old (D)H today the one I loved and married - left me a CD wrapped up and note to listen to specific track (remembered I had said I liked song on radio and said was right for us) Manic Streets Autumn Day (words "the best is yet to come").....sent me text saying "still love you"....feel heartbroken (preg hormones not helping) - this is the man I remember the man I married - but not the man who lied to me betrayed me threatened me - don't think I can fix it ...
I think he is terrified OW baby due this week and once it is born I think that will be final straw for me I know in heart I won't be able to deal with it or him having relationship with them in whatever way ...think he knows this and terrified that he will finally lose his family

Dior · 03/07/2007 18:56

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 04/07/2007 12:22

hi macd, thought I'd come back over here

think you're right in trying to distance yourself from him, financially, but can totally see how much time and money you have invested in the business. and you want it to work so much

are you in the business as a 'partnership'? could that be a way to go? perhaps get it legal, agree split of profits? any way you could sort things out so that any money you invest in the business would be perhaps in the form of a loan, repayable to you??

don't know. just trying to think of ideas to help. (I'm a chartered accountant so if you want to talk about this more or want me to look into anything for you then feel free to e-mail me.)

your head must be in a complete mess when you see glimpses of the man you married. the man you love.
I really think you two could get through this if you are able to slowly come to terms with the ow and the baby? do you think you could?
do you want to get through this and come out the other side as a couple anymore?

macdoodle · 04/07/2007 14:32

Thanks MLS things really hard at moment cos we are getting on ..but have moments of remembering what he did or said and just
Don't think I am able to forgive him and don't think he is able to change ...don't want to go back to how we were before the affair .... can't see way forward can't see way back just
Am really worring about OW baby and money and what happens when it is born ....and of course preg hormones not helping at all...
Just fed up really
Thanks for support

mylittlestar · 04/07/2007 15:51

{{{{{{macdoodle}}}}}}}

Wish I could give you a real life hug. Sounds like you really need it right now.

You've had more than your fair share of the bad times. There's got to be happier times just around the corner.

macdoodle · 04/07/2007 15:58

There must be just must be otheriwse life just sucks
Trying to look on new baby as new start for me and DD but just so that baby won't have its dad around like DD did and feel like that is down to me

ginnedupmummy · 04/07/2007 16:02

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 04/07/2007 16:06

macd it's absolutely not down to you at all. always remember that. he made his decisions and he has forced you into an impossible situation. it's absolutely not your fault in any way.

ginnedup excellent news on the no smoking. and great to hear someone sounding so positive. really pleased to hear that you're doing well. I'll have to get on MSN to look at the photos

gotta rush off and get ds now. macd I hope you're ok xx

Paddlechick666 · 04/07/2007 16:31

hi all, sorry haven't been on much but it's manic here and we're leaving early tomorrow morning.

has anyone heard from Sugar? I offered to keep her company for her ds's op next week and she said yes but hasn't been in touch since. I need details so I can organise the time off as am due back into work that day.

If anyone has her mobile number and mine please could they contact her and pass mine on so we can get in touch.

thanks, hope things get better for everyone one way or another.

mac, you're doing it tough at the mo. don't beat yourself up about anything at the mo. just focus on getting thru the next couple of weeks for now.

dior, i think it's a disgrace that Relate have dicked you around like that. can you demand to see the counsellor you've already got a relationship with? please don't not go, i understand the temptation to jack it in but either way i think it'll be good for you.

H is clearly not going to go to any kind of counselling or put any sort of concerted effort into sorting us out but i am still going to to go. am going to track down a solicitor when i get back too.

new house, new life i say!

or maybe i just won't come back - see how he likes it if I go awol!

Paddlechick666 · 04/07/2007 22:05

sugar, haven't heard from you. have warned my boss not to expect me next thursday but have also told him i might be in!

am off till weds evening now, email me if you can, otherwise will check in when i get back.

hope all's well.

hope everyone else has a good week and i'll catch ya all when i get back.

mylittlestar · 05/07/2007 10:30

Big argument with H last night...

He thinks after 14 years, the affair, him messing me round for months, then me believing he'd come home for good and we were working it out, him changing his mind again... that we have nothing to talk about!

In his head he's blocked out what he's done to me and is moving forward with his life and I'm expected to do the same! He gets all stressed out and won't talk about it. I really think he can't bear to hear the effect his actions have had on me and just how much I've been through. He has no idea.
But I need some answers! I'm devastated beyond belief, unable to come to terms with what he did to me and the awful things he did when having the affair, plus dealing with my marriage being over which is the one thing in the world I never wanted...

Hope my counselling appointment comes through sooner rather than later!!

Nothing anyone can say I know. Just needed to rant!

macdoodle · 05/07/2007 10:53

Men seem to be like that mine won't talk at all either - its like they can block it out and move on - still waiting for RELATE my guess he will come once and never again - like you I think I need the counselling for my own peace of mind - I know how you feel MLS "tortured" comes to mind

ginnedupmummy · 05/07/2007 12:48

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Dior · 05/07/2007 19:01

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 06/07/2007 12:13

Thanks Dior. You're spot on about the guilt. That's exactly right.

Macd - tortured - so true

Ginnedup thanks. MIL has been supportive, and she's tried everything, absolutely everything, to help us, to help him see sense, to support us and look after ds so we can have time alone to talk... even she can't get through to him!
His best mate even e-mailed me! To say he's disgusted at the way he's treated me, that he cannot condone any of it. He said he would never try to help H justify his actions and he's made it quite clear what he thinks (which has upset H no end!). He said he just wanted me to know that there are some good blokes out there and I will find one who deserves me. But obviously as his best mate he has to try and support H. And then sent his love to me and ds...

So I really don't think there's a person in the world who can see this from H's point of view. I know he deserves it. But for him and the person he has become.

ginnedupmummy · 06/07/2007 14:46

Message withdrawn

ginnedupmummy · 06/07/2007 14:48

Message withdrawn

mylittlestar · 06/07/2007 14:50

Thanks ginnedup

5 days and not tempted - that's brilliant!
I need some of your willpower!!

sallysparrow · 06/07/2007 17:21

Well done with the not smoking, ginnedup!

MLS - so sad that even his own mother and best friend cant make him see sense! Nice that they are on your side.

mylittlestar · 06/07/2007 19:53

Thanks sally

sugar34plum · 06/07/2007 20:54

Hi all sorry been trying to get my head round my life.

Pc have emailed you and if you can make it his op is on thursday and we will be on

mountain ward level 5 evelina childrens hospital. Would be great to meet you and for the support i really appreciate it.

Mac d i really feel for you few weeks ago would of said cant imagine how your feeling but having found out one of h's clients is pregnant and could be h's or her own dh! I do know how you feel and its sickening. Which is why i have come to the decision to officially end my marriage. Once ds is over his op and is a ok i will be off to the solicitors for a divorce. I am sad this is happening but strangely i feel complete relief! Im scared of what the future holds like where me and dc will end up living. But the key word is we will be living. Felt for so long i was just existing.

mls im so sorry h is being such a shite bag. I know how much you still love him and i wish icould wave a magic wand and make him realise what a twat his being!

Pc if i see you thursday we can talk about your dh as much as you like and if mine turns up at hospital you can have first shot if you like! But i doubt he will as still no word from him at all!

Lily glad all ok with baby we will have to do a baby name list start a thread and we can all have our suggestions

I hope everyone else is doing ok?

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