2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it

[Detanglingmyhead]

Booked a luxury hotel, afternoon tea and spa (all paid for by me as usual). His phone buzzes at 1am last night. Knew it would be his ex. It was. She will not back off at all. They were only together for 7 months in 2014 but she's obsessed. Checked his phone. What would you think if you read these? I'm fuming.

Hundreds of missed calls from her last weekend when we weren't together.

If he's not willing to block her then he enjoys the attention at the very least.

Time to leave. Good luck.

And she's paid off his overdraft!!

He's basically calmly been prostituting himself I reckon. Not sure physically but definitely emotionally.

This woman said I have a personality disorder, Stockholm syndrome and was basically calmly awful about me 3 months in.

What a pair of cunts.

I couldn't sleep next to him last night because I'm so disgusted so I've slept in my DD's bed. I have no idea what to say to him. Thanks for the anniversary present you arsehole? He constantly dismissed me as being paranoid, they are just friends etc.

He's a disrespectful arse. Chuck him and go to the spa yourself if you can get childcare.

Am I being unreasonable to not be okay with these texts? Am so overreacting? Sorry. My head is fucked.

The DC's are at their Dad's pigeon

Going alone will just make me feel like shit. Maybe I can ask my sister to come with me.

YANBU. He's clearly still in a relationship with his ex, emotionally at least.

He's a waste of space. And why are you the only one paying for the celebration of your anniversary anyway - two years in and you're having to do that says a lot.

Get rid of him. He'll probably go and be with her, but I really doubt it will last.

She's paid off his overdraft and you paid for everything at the hotel 'as usual'. He's a freeloader / cocklodger and you should dump him for that alone.

What on earth?

Have I got this right?

He goes round his exes? Does jobs for her?

She can’t give up smoking, so he has to go round and get it?

Reads like two people in a relationship.
Sweetie, bras, etc

How did you manage to get his phone? All I can say is hugs and I am glad you had the opportunity to see it.

He's a loser.

She sounds really full on. He just seems to be going along with it but he could claim they are just friends. He should tell her to back off now he’s with you. Weird.

No, I would be furious. My DH has a very weird relationship with his ex when we got together. I do believe they weren't sleeping together, but they spoke all the time, sent goodnight messages to each other. I had an ultimatum and he chose me and showed me the message exchanges he sent her saying he couldn't be in touch with her or see her anymore. He was then a changed man, before then I think I was only getting part of him, but once he was fully committed to me I could feel the difference. Both physically and emotionally.

Oh and he tidied her kitchen?

That would be it for me. Does he tidy your kitchen?

That's exactly what he says 'we are just friends' but do you know what I'm not happy with that level of friends. I heard is phone buzz and knew it would be her so I waited for him to fall asleep and took photos on my phone.

I have pretty much paid for everything for months because he has been doing his house up. This is how he repays me.

How long ago and why did they split up? Whose decision was it? (Am intrigued).

And she makes this massive deal on Facebook how she's the ultimate feminist and all for the sisterhood hahahahaha. Yeah right.

She's never going to let him go OP and he seems happy to be at her beck and call. You need to get out. He's horrible.

The reason why your head is fucked is because you are in a relationship triangle with people who gaslight and disrespect you. Not only him, but THEY, are messing with your head big time. He has 2 women fussing over him, paying off his debts, stroking his ego and paying for spa trips away.

I think you need to take some time to yourself and work on your own self esteem and self respect. People only treat you like this if you let them. I don't mean to be hard on you and sorry if I am making you feel bad. You need to find the strength to tell him to go f*ck himself and tell her she is welcome to him. He must think he is some kind of god's gift to women. Funny thing is these men are almost always more Jack Duckworth than David Bandy.

They split up early 2015. His decision because he didn't love her he said. Who knows what bullshit he has been feeding me? I went through messages matching stuff up. I had a womb scrape on Weds for endometriosis and drove myself there and back. He helped her take her cat to the fucking vet on Wednesday!!!! I'm outraged about that mostly.

Painful as it ok is you need to split up and he can go back to her..except he is prob forgetting why they split in the first place.

The fact that she hasn't moved on properly after 4 years says it all. Even without what he has just done who would want to put up with a nut job like that hanging around

Leave, there's no way I would put up with that. She sounds awful and he's just as bad. Please try get to the spa if you can, you deserve the break.

I'd kick him out and never look back. Good luck op x

Wow.

Are you married to this man?

I would get rid. You know yourself by now, you will never be happy being the second (or third - how's his DM?!) woman in his life.

Next time don't settle.