2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it

[Detanglingmyhead]

Booked a luxury hotel, afternoon tea and spa (all paid for by me as usual). His phone buzzes at 1am last night. Knew it would be his ex. It was. She will not back off at all. They were only together for 7 months in 2014 but she's obsessed. Checked his phone. What would you think if you read these? I'm fuming.

LTB

And who is Tom? Does he know about this?

I was in a physically and sexually abusive marriage before. I have been gaslighted and I was vulnerable to it. I have had a rough couple of years and my judgement had been off. It's right on now.

She just sounds embarrassing. 'Don't make me come over there' 'I'll put a bra on' is like 15 year old flirting.

Just read your update about Wednesday. I feel sick for you. What an utter pair of bastards.

Tom is her lodger!!

No we are not married. Don't even live together because he's got his own house.

She’s needy isn’t she. I’m surprised he listens to the whining.

Send him this thread.

Last night we got into an argument about her as I said she's out of order texting at 1am and he was shouting that they've got it right, being friends and that I can't stay friends with exes because I haven't got boundaries?

I don't stay friends with my exes because I have enough friends. I don't need to keep people I've had sex with danglingon a string because that's...sociopathic!

I had a womb scrape on Weds for endometriosis and drove myself there and back. He helped her take her cat to the fucking vet on Wednesday!!!! I'm outraged about that mostly.

Oh. My. God. He should have been there for YOU. You deserve so much more than this.

You must be exhausted by the whole thing. If you stand up for yourself and go through with the dumping he could realise what a knob he's been, having his cake and all that. Or you will get over him (as there's so much negative stuff to focus on!) and being on your own will be less lonely and stressful and will open you up to finding someone who puts you first.

Good luck. X

Actually, send her this thread. He’s her little lap dog so she’ll tell him what he allowed to do about it.

You sound like you’ve got this.

She's so needy. He's her longest relationship. 7 months. And she's 41. She truly is a very odd person. Diagnosing me with a personality disorder. We have never met face to face ever!

She sounds like a bit of a user (list of jobs wtf?) On the other hand he’s getting his overdraft paid off so there’s something in it for both of them.

To let you drive yourself to the hospital for a procedure but chose to take her cat to the vets? He's still in love with her. End it for your own sanity, he's not worth your tears .

Actually, out if both of them, he's the bigger user. She's paid him for the job AND paid off the overdraft. Now I'm calming down I actually feel sorry for her. She's obviously desperate and obsessed with him. She's got to pay him for company ffs. She's just pathetic tbh. He's the twat.

This is so familiar to me. Not an ex but when I found texts to his work colleague, my stbxh claimed they were just friends. You're going to have to be really strong. Prepare to feel like you're being totally unreasonable. You are not! Better to be single than with someone who acts like this. Good luck 🌹

He isn't in love with her. He's a taker. He's using her for money and she's letting him under the guise of 'that's what friends are for' she even put that after transferring him 300 quid. He's used us both.

Neither of them are showering themselves in glory and you can definitely do better than him!

Go for a girlie day / afternoon tea with your sister or a friend and toast new beginnings :)

She paid him? I assumed he was doing her favours. Yes that is sad.

I agree, He is a user, he knows she adores him and he is prostituting him attention in exchange for her money. I wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't given him other money along the way.

Get rid, he is using you both. And you deserve so much better.

Oh and then I'd point out other he is using her for money too, just in case she hasn't twigged.

She sounds desperate and needy. Even if they do get together it'll never last.
He's sounds unsupportive and inconsiderate, especially as you've had a operation recently he should have been there in your time of need. Get rid.

If anything, I'd say she has the personality disorder. It's weird how they were together for 7 months in 2015 and she still invites this. And your DP is facilitating all of it.

Bin off lovely. He's a cocklodger and she's a fantasist. You've not got a personality disorder, you just want boundaries - boundaries she doesn't have.

Just a thought but rather than tell him the real reason you are finishing with him (and him talk bollocks about your lack of boundaries) you could choose a different (more evil) reason.

“You are a great bloke with a lovely personality but I just don’t find you physically attractive.”
“I know it is not your fault but I just can’t deal with your bad breath / body odour any more.”
“We’ve had a lovely time but sex is so important to me and I need a man who really can make it work for me.”

I'm kicking myself because before I read the messages but knew it was her I sent her this:

Please don't text my boyfriend at 1am on a Saturday night. Understand boundaries, get a bit of self respect and back the fuck off okay?

I'd just had it. But I didn't know how far they'd been going. Really wish I hadn't sent it now.

I would have sent the same thing. Did she reply??

I really like the idea of telling him he's rubbish in bed but I don't want him to think this behaviour is okay. He will just do it to the next poor sod who comes along and I want to teach him that he can't treat people like this.

She's welcome to him. He's a 42 year old loser who scraped 2 GCSEs, smokes, is shite with money and has ED. The scales have truly fallen but I want him to learn a lesson.