2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it

[Detanglingmyhead]

Booked a luxury hotel, afternoon tea and spa (all paid for by me as usual). His phone buzzes at 1am last night. Knew it would be his ex. It was. She will not back off at all. They were only together for 7 months in 2014 but she's obsessed. Checked his phone. What would you think if you read these? I'm fuming.

Hope you feel better today. Block both of them one everything - after a two year relationship where you aren't even living together there is no need for any sort of post relationship discussions. It's pointless. It really doesn't matter who/what/why etc what matters is that's it finished.

Good luck for the future

They are both blocked on FB and I've blocked his number. I don't want to hear anything he's got to say. I've let him walk all over me financially and I've got to look at why I allowed that.

However, my sister and I stayed out in the hotel bar until 1am and got talking to a group of older couples. We had so much fun and laughed so much and I realised if I'd have been hear with him we wouldn't have spoken to anyone (he was socially awkward) and we didn't laugh much. My life is already improved without him in 24 hours. There no going back this time.

*here not hear!

That's good to hear you had fun yesterday. It's only been a two year relationship- it always sad when things don't work out but in the grand scheme of things it's just a little blip.... onwards and upwards (and don't beat yourself up if you unexpectantly find yourself a bit bummed out or sad for a while -all very normal).

Well done OP! Enjoy your future!

bloody well done OP! marvellous work!

@Detanglingmyhead Glad you had a lovely time! Onwards and upwards. Well done. X

I'm struggling a bit today. Didn't sleep well. All the anger and adrenaline has worn off and now I just feel a bit bereft.

I am going back to work after a week (had to have 7 days off after scrape) and that's not good for my mood either as I'm leaving next week, due to issues with a member of my team who hates me. She basically said she doesn't like how I've got into team (only been there 6 months) and shouted 'fuck off' at me in the office. Managed to find a job at my old work with my old team so at least I've got a fresh start there but I've just got to deal with this week and next week.

Haven't heard a thing off dickhead (but he is blocked). I checked his FB yesterday from my sisters account and he shared a 'Share this if you are a cunt and you don't care' meme doesn't care. Says it all.

OP, go easy on yourself. Ride out this week and make sure you fit in things that make you feel happy. Make some evening plans to look forward to? I would suggest reminding yourself what shit you've put up with from them but actually they aren't even worth a thought. You are a better person than the two of them put together times a million!

And remember however you are feeling now will not last. Give it a little while and you'll look back on this situation with disbelief.

You're doing a great. Look after YOU.

Bless you love.

Hi Detangling - how are you doing? Hope you are recovering from your surgery and counting down the days to your new/old job.

Your ex (and his ex) sound like psycho nut jobs!!! Am sure you will be much better off (emotionally AND financially) without that parasite leeching off you.

I'm okay. I am keeping busy with work and the DC's but I need to stop checking stalkinghis Facebook from my anonymous. He's still got that he's in a relationship on there and it is irritating me! 3 days with absolutely no contact. I'm focussing on getting to 30 days NC and hoping I feel better. I just feel like at 38 and with 3 DC's I'll probably be single forever now. I'm trying to focus on the good stuff about being single

Thanks @GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

If he cares more about her puddycat that yours, it's time to move on and find a real man :)

Oh Detangling there are SO many good things about being single!!!

No snoring. Farting. Controlling the TV remote... And that's just for starters...

Just focus on being nice to yourself and spending time with your DC at the mo (and maybe catch up with a real-life friend for a glass/bottle of wine and a decompression session! The first few days are rough once the adrenaline wears off...

I've got my leaving meal at work tomorrow night and a friends birthday with the DC's on Friday night. My friend is coming along to that with me and we are having wine after. Sunday I'm at my parents for Easter meal, so got plenty of plans.

It's Saturday night I'm worried about. DC's go to their Dad's at 6 so I'll be stuck in solo and that's when I start to feel rubbish. I'm looking for a good book to lose myself in. Nothing too heavy but not fluff either. Anyone got any recommendations? I'll read through the heartache 😂

In a serious note, I have been thinking about my approach to relationships. I'm a people pleaser and often keep quiet about things but harbour simmering resentment underneath. It leads me to keep one foot firmly out of the relationship. What happened when I was a child means I need to trust someone 100 per cent. I have never found that. I am not sure why?

Fifty Shades of grey trilogy cold help you get over him :)

Just finished 'the note' by Zoe Folbigg, was a great read. Good luck OP, each little step like Saturday night on your own is a little nearer to coping on your own. And you will find love again, I did at 47! Gets you when you're not looking 😊x

Elenor Oliphant is Completely Fine is a total page turner. I couldn't put it down.

Thanks. I will buy both those books.

Just had a bit of a shock. Ex's stepdad had just dropped Easter Eggs and money off for my DC's. I always got on so well with his mum and she has sent them because she is so lovely. He clearly hasn't told them we have split up because his stepdad was explaining that they aren't having their usual gathering on Easter Sunday I just said thanks and accepted them.

Victoria Hislop’s The Island is a fabulous read. Good luck OP

Another vote for Elinor Oliphant. Buy some chocolate, big mugs of tea (or wine) and some quality time for you this weekend.

Thinking of you OP.

I just finished that today. It was lovely. Sad, funny, but not at al mawkish. A survivor on an upward curve.

It reminded me of rachel''s holiday. Such a funny story of an adult unpicking their issues so they can rise up out of the crap