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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it

148 replies

Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 07:55

Booked a luxury hotel, afternoon tea and spa (all paid for by me as usual). His phone buzzes at 1am last night. Knew it would be his ex. It was. She will not back off at all. They were only together for 7 months in 2014 but she's obsessed. Checked his phone. What would you think if you read these? I'm fuming.

2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it
2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it
2 year anniversary today and I'm going to end it
OP posts:
WarmestRegards · 25/03/2018 08:50

This reply has been deleted

This has been been removed by MNHQ for privacy reasons.

BanyanTree · 25/03/2018 08:51

Nothing wrong with that message. I would have done worse than that TBH.

You don't need an excuse to get rid of him. You have her messages. Tell him you are finishing with him because there are 3 people in this relationship. He is a cheater. You don't need to explain yourself.

Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 08:52

No, she won't reply. She will text him playing the victim. I can guarantee it. She's depressed because her dad didn't speak to her much as a child. So therefore the world is a terrible place.

He told me this about her knowing I'd been raped by a family member when I was 11. He tried to put us in the same category Hmm

OP posts:
PoorYorick · 25/03/2018 08:53

She's 41? I seriously thought she was about 23 and young for her years at that.

frasier · 25/03/2018 08:54

He smokes... so she’s paying him for company in tobacco?

Inertia · 25/03/2018 08:55

What does he do for you apart from accepting your money?

Sounds like you're only in the picture to pay his outgoings. Clearly, she comes first in his life - he even values her cat more highly than you. I'm sorry - you deserve better.

lardass88 · 25/03/2018 08:55

Seriously? This is too much of a head Fuck. Dump him. It's not worth the hassle. He's sounds like a knob.
Have you paid for everything? If you can't cancel and get a refund take a friend instead.

Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 08:56

Inertia - thanks. That sums it up in one sentence. Makes me feel shit. But it's true Sad

OP posts:
Masterofkarateandfriendship · 25/03/2018 08:58

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this uncaring, unsupportive, selfish arsehole and his need for attention.

Get rid now and don't waste any more of your time or hard earned money on this dicksplash. And block his number/unfriend him on FB - anything you can to avoid being contacted; your dumping him will no doubt annoy him and then he'll be chasing you too. It's really fucking difficult when you're hurt and vulnerable, but you'll be stronger at the other side. Respect yourself - none of this is your fault.

I've been through this before with an narcissistic ex who just couldn't help himself - constantly texting and flirting with several exes/'friends' but wasn't clever enough to cover his tracks. I put up with it for 3 years, by which point I had no self confidence, but my friends and family helped me move on and now I'm in a much better position. Funnily enough, the last one he was involved with was also a staunch feminist (who knew about me)So much for the sisterhood, eh!

Good luck - your life will be much better without this emotional drain.

Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 08:58

frasier no he gets her tabacco by the look of it (and weed probably). She doesn't even smoke I reckon. It's just an excuse to get him round there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 09:00

master thanks. Yeah, I'm totally drained. I'm on my period and it's massively heavy and after the scrape etc I just can't deal with it all as I've got loads of procedures coming up with the endo. Thank you for being kind everyone.

OP posts:
Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 09:10

I'm trying to sort the words in my head. So I'm going to say to him

'Some people do feel lonely in relationships. Especially when they prioritise their ex's cat over their partners health. So just leave and never speak to me again. (You piece of shit)'

Does that sound okay?

OP posts:
ButtMuncher · 25/03/2018 09:12

Sounds perfect to me. I'd also say you've seen the messages and he way she harasses him and you don't want that drama in your life so they're welcome to each other Grin

Speedy recovery OP - you're amazing Thanks

OldHag1 · 25/03/2018 09:13

I agree with lardass and PP... I also wouldn’t be bothered trying to teach him a lesson can you imagine in a week/month or whatever bumping into them together and all the agro?

Dump him - as PP said make up a reason as horrible as you like

Tinkerbec · 25/03/2018 09:15

Is he with you now?

Pack his bags first. So you don’t have to see him again.

MiniTheMinx · 25/03/2018 09:16

Is there any chance she's not really an ex? And that he's just using both of you?

No point being angry with her. She seems lonely, desperate and a bit obsessed. Don't be like her! Just walk away, you can do better.

MiniTheMinx · 25/03/2018 09:19

And certainly don't say to him about feeling lonely. He will lap it up, 2 women desperate and lonely. Nope. Just tell him you are bored with this and want to meet someone more loyal who can get it up. Smile

Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 09:19

I won't be like her! I'm not like her and he hates it.

OP posts:
Original poster
Detanglingmyhead · 25/03/2018 09:21

No the lonely thing was a reference to him saying some people in relationships are lonely. I'm not lonely at all! I've got 3 DC's Grin and loads of friends. He has two.

OP posts:
LellyMcKelly · 25/03/2018 09:22

Oh god, you don’t need an excuse. Get your revenge by just ditching him and moving on. Life is way too short to put up with that shit.

MarthasGinYard · 25/03/2018 09:22

They both sound thick as mince

Pair of twunts

Take a mate on the hotel trip and bloody enjoy it

MarthasGinYard · 25/03/2018 09:24

Leave them to their 'baccy'

Grim

lardass88 · 25/03/2018 09:24

I'd keep your dignity and just tell him you know what he's doing and it's unacceptable and end it. Pack anything of his at yours, and tell him it's over. Leave it outside so you don't have to see him again. I'd not listen to any of his bollocks and block and delete. She sounds like a desperate weirdo so good luck to them both! It will hurt but give it a few months and you'll realise you've had a lucky escape. Life's too short to be with people who make you feel this bad! X

SparklyMagpie · 25/03/2018 09:26

Ewww this is so weird !

You'll do the best thing you could ever do by dumping this prat!

Is he still at yours? He wouldn't be in bed if he was at my house.

Hope you enjoy your spa day, you definitely need it and use it to cleanse all that shit away

Also sorry to hear you've been having a shit time with endo, I also have endometriosis an after numerous operations etc,I know how exhausting and utterly shit it can be to have to deal with it x

BlondeB83 · 25/03/2018 09:38

Definitely leave this cocklodger! He’s emotionally with her FFS!