A thread to moan on until I’m rid of exP

[UnimaginativeUsername]

(Ex)P and I are separating but we have to live together until we sell this house (due to finances). So I thought I’d start a thread to help me get through the next few months.

Total lack of interest every time he speaks, bird - it's the only way!

bird

He doesn’t have any bagels left. Maybe he’ll buy himself more and I can have them. I don’t much like bagels though - I buy them for the boys (who do like them).

Of course, eating bagels I’m not that keen on just to annoy ex would be delightfully petty.

My ex also told me to 'stop shouting' if I dared to contradict what he was saying, even though I never was shouting. And he would do it in this calculated, slow, very precise voice using my name ("stop....shout...ing....at....me Van"), as if to emphasise my 'shouting' by being quieter.

He was always telling me I was aggressive, miserable, never wanted to do anything.....turns out, I want to do LOTS of things, just not with him :)

The only way to approach it is to ignore him. Or, focus on the question at hand:

are you going to mow the lawn?
if you tell me to, you know you control me
is that yes or no then?

You could always say "I'll ask Fred over the road, his kid might want to do it for a fiver" and head out the door. Rely on him as little as you can manage.

ExDSS ate my Magnum-a-likes from the freezer when I was there and I asked ex where they were and he got all "oh my god, no-one has eaten your food, jesus, all you ever do is complain" [etc etc]

Turned out, DSS had eaten them and he apologised. I didn't really mind, I know it was confusing, I was only asking ex in case they had been put somewhere else and to make sure they didn't eat the next lot I bought.

Anyway, ex got all miffed that I was right so he bought me a 'real' Magnum to make up for it, and made a point by text that he had bought me a 'real' Magnum. But, it was a raspberry one, which are vile, so I told him I didn't want it.

Which made me feel very good!

I'm still getting endless twisted shit he spins everything to make me look worse and has been lying to solicitors re finances. I am trying to remain calm and appear unaffected but I will not allow him to screw me financially. I love it when he's away, the black cloud lifts and I can see what life will be like in the future.

Long time lurker here! I’m just following as I am in AWE of you fabulous women! I am wishing you all the best as I have been there and it’s total crap. The sad little weasels know EXACTLY which buttons to press and then when you get understandably frustrated then YOU are the nutter! Now if I meet anyone who says ‘my ex was crazy’ I’m off. She was ‘crazy’ for a reason, you tit.

@VanGoghsDog he probably got one you didn’t like on purpose.

@Sally2791 the black cloud definitely lifts when ex is away. Hopefully your solicitor will sort out all the crap he’s trying to pull.

@shitwithsugaron have a brilliant time on holiday. Hopefully the weather will hold for you. It’s not ‘just a cheap caravan holiday’; it’s s lovely time away with your DD. . It sounds like you’ll be free by the end of the month. Hooray!

@UnapologeticallyUnhinged glad you’re out the other side. A ‘crazy ex’ is definitely a red flag in any man! My ex had never had a proper, long-term relationship before me. There was a reason for that. Sadly I didn’t see it at the time.

I’m out in the sunshine again today with DS2 on a day trip to sunny Yorkshire. He’s climbing all over brimham rocks and having a great time. Apparently wearing a hat impedes his climbing ability though . DS1 declined to join us when I asked him if he was getting up at 8.00. It’s really quite hot today and I think half of Yorkshire decided climbing rocks was the thing to do this bank holiday Monday.

I’m back home now. We had a lovely time. I think the national trust underestimated how much demand there would be for ice cream/lollies - we were very lucky to get one. DS2 and I had twisters sitting in the sun. I haven’t had a twister for years.

In slightly amusing ex news: his phone rang about 10 seconds after we got home but he silenced it. Then told DS2 that he ‘needs to rest for 20 mins’ before he can play with him. Who wants to get it’s the girlfriend? Who also wants to bet that she isn’t fully aware of exactly what his current living situation is? I’m 99% that it started off as an affair anyway. Let’s hope she sees sense.

He also appears to be growing a beard. It is not good at all: very patchy, blonde with gingery and grey bits. Mostly it just accentuates the moles and lumps on his chin.

Had to laugh at the lumpy, moley beard!

Patchy too. He can’t actually get his sideburns to join up with the tufts on his chin.

DS2 is letting him have 20 mins to ‘rest’ and not a second longer. He’s actually timing it.

So I’ve offered on the house. I haven’t heard back yet. The EA Was struggling to get a hold of the vendor (who was at work) but phoned a couple of times to update me and said he’d emailed her too.

I really want her to sell the house to me. I’m all restless with the waiting.

Ex got all dressed up to go to work today (unusually). DS2 asked him why he was looking smart and did he have a job interview.

DS will be the one to tell the ex what a twat he is. All it’ll take is a withering glance.

I hope your offer is accepted. Have you heard back from divorced man from SE yet?

Not yet. I’m going to check with the EA tomorrow. If worst comes to worst we’ll just accept his shitty lowball offer.

I am totally crap at waiting for news. I was distracted all day at work (which, admittedly, is not unusual).

Bleurgh. The vendor has rejected my offer. I texted my mum to say this and she immediately phoned and said she’d give me £10k so I can buy the house! She’s awesome.

So I’m going to offer a bit more in an hour or so.

Exciting news about the house, fingers crossed your mums extra secures it

Has ExH stolen any more food?! Thought of him this morning when I had a bagel lol

I love your mum! Been following and finally sat down for 20mins and caught up- I so want them to accept

Yes!! Fingers and eyes crossed for you.

I have put in another offer. I can still go a wee bit higher than that if necessary. But hopefully she’ll go for it. She’s made a tonne on the house since she bought it in 2014 regardless!

Ex has not stolen any more food - but the cupboards have been pretty bare. I had an online shop delivered this morning so we’ll see what happens. There are bagels and pain au chocolat now!

Hide them & enjoy them at your leisure!

Good luck with your offer, hope it's accepted. Your mum sounds lovely.

If he bloody eats them I’ll be so angry. So invested in this thread 😂

Haha. I will definitely keep you up dated on the status of my bagels and pain au chocolat!

I’ll probably have to wait til tomorrow to hear back about the offer. The EA said he thought it was about right and that he’d do his best for me. I will be so, so excited if she accepts my new offer.

I’m so rubbish at waiting.

The EA have phoned to let me know that they’re having trouble getting hold of the seller (who is a doctor, so impossible to get when she’s at work). But they definitely think that she should accept my offer. They keep telling me that ‘it’s where we think it should be’ and apparently they’ve postponed/paused some viewings that they had booked for this week to be fair to me. So presumably they fully expect her to accept it (especially as I’m not bringing a huge chain behind me - which at the price point is pretty likely for other potential buyers).

In other news, ex bought some bagels off me this morning so he could have some breakfast.