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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

999 replies

VetOnCall · 15/03/2018 19:21

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
SilverdaleGlen · 26/03/2018 21:22

X post!! You are waaaaaaay too nice Val.

SilverdaleGlen · 26/03/2018 21:26

So my MrUnavailable can't see me over Easter as our dates don't work then he's in the US with work. So that will be 3 months of talking 1 meet. I need to let this go right?

I have a new iron who wants a date but the days I am where he is, he is in another country with work.

My actual FWB (who may be 28 now!!!) is in Lisbon for 3 weeks.

Is it my job and proclivities that are finding these unavailable men???

pudding21 · 26/03/2018 21:31

Oh silverdale, is he??? Hahahaha. 28 you say ;)

TomHardysBitontheside · 26/03/2018 21:36

silver, kitten and penny thanks so much for talking sense into me. He is an idiot who only ever wanted one thing. It's his loss. I'm consigning him to the anecdote heap and moving on.

TomHardysBitontheside · 26/03/2018 21:37

silver this all sounds like bad luck! Hopefully you will find someone soon who is in the same country and can meet you!

ValMc1 · 26/03/2018 21:42

Silver - I work in education so I like to challenge unacceptable ideas but normally it's with 16-18! year olds - not grown ups! That is my only defence.

ValMc1 · 26/03/2018 21:44

Silver they need to be in the same country - perhaps your own mr very local

SilverdaleGlen · 26/03/2018 22:58

Pudding yes thought he was 37!

Tom/Val they all live here but have jobs with travel, or family overseas. Ah well.

I have an actual date on Saturday from a chat over the last couple of days with someone only half an hour away that seems intelligent, cheeky, honest and he says he is looking for Miss Right but having fun along the way which is perfect for me! I can't get too excited about it. Need to find a babysitter!!

Jaxinthebox · 26/03/2018 23:53

oh well my few weeks of fun have ended. Mr Snog has been sent packing as his on/off again is 'sort of' on. Yes, I had a discussion with him before anything happened with us, yes he lied (by evading the truth) So after tonights shenanigans Im back on the market.

I feel like an utter twat - not because I slept with him, dated him, but for doing that to another woman. That is not my scene at all. Fuck, I knew he was trouble. Hmm

SilverdaleGlen · 27/03/2018 00:10

He wasn't single Jax?? I'm sorry but absolutely not your fault Flowers

Techgirldating2018 · 27/03/2018 00:10

jax I’m feeling like a fool tonight too, and if I’m honest a lot hurt.

Jaxinthebox · 27/03/2018 00:28

oh no tech Im sorry my lovely, sometimes men are total, utter fuckers. Ive not read the last part of this thread, whats happened?

Thing is, Im going to see him out and about. Im just glad I didnt emotionally invest. Yes, I liked him, yes it was fun and the sex was getting really good, but as soon as I knew he was somebody else's guy he was booted out the door! For that I am proud, it would have been easy to keep him and just keep going out with him. I mean we have been OUT together. Jesus!

dodosarecool · 27/03/2018 01:02

Oh what is wrong with men?!! Just had a man ask me where we were going... and tell me off for not contacting him for 10 days. Well... he hadn't contacted me either and nothing had developed after meeting twice but we'd chatted from time to time on the phone though he hadn't asked me out. I thought it was clear from that. Then he informs me he can't wait around... but I hadn't asked him to or expected him to Confused

I'm still heartbroken from my ex (met old) of 6 months ending things and deciding not to have any more contact, he blocked me which I'm not used to happening and feels like I've done something horrible for him to do that Sad

I have one hopeful I'm talking to but he cancelled twice already - first was flu. Inclined to believe as he said he was off work 2 days in a row. Second was his dad getting rushed to hospital . If he has anything come up a third time I think I will be done.

Lovemusic33 · 27/03/2018 07:32

Jax don’t feel bad, he’s the one that decided to date when he’s not single. We assume because people are on a dating site that they haven’t got a partner, sadly quite a few people do and are on their to cheat. I’m sure the last person I was dating was married, he was flaky, took ages to DTD and then he freaked out and vanished (hasn’t been back on POF). I don’t feel bad, I feel sorry for his wife/partner but chances are they know what their man is like Sad.

I was chatting to Mr Tinder last night, I’m getting frustrated with him, we have been chatting forever but have yet to meet, we keep mentioning meeting but then something comes up, we were meant to meet Sunday but my car broke down the day before. I don’t think he’s relationship material but we sext quite a bit, his work hours make it tricky to date.

pudding21 · 27/03/2018 08:34

silver was commenting as you said he was in Lisbon, which is near me ;)

IronNeonClasp · 27/03/2018 08:41

Morning. I have another question. But it's l o n g!
Context: I'm (still) missing ex-b loads, have an on/off FWB. Met someone on OLD a couple of weeks ago. Met twice. All moving very fast. He's overly keen and leaves me WhatsApp messages, tries to call a lot. I am not a phone-chatter...

I have a proper gut feeling not sitting right with me. He was very gentlemanly on our date on Sat and had a snog but I'm just not feeling 'it'...
He works in the 'industry' and is über confident. Coincidentally a work friend told me yesterday she met him in a bar a month ago (small world), he was chatting her mate up, made them swap seats and basically came across as an arrogant arsehole..
I didn't contact him all day yesterday so I'm feeling bad - but I don't know how to say "it's not you it's blah..."Confused

IronNeonClasp · 27/03/2018 08:41

He's just messaged me again asking if he's done anything wrong. Talk about full on Confused

RunsforCake14 · 27/03/2018 08:47

Jax sorry to hear that about Mr Snog. Good for you for staying strong and telling him to get lost as soon as you knew.

Dodo that sounds like he was making excuses for his own poor behaviour. If he wanted another date with you then he should've asked. You're not a mind reader.

I've got a date tonight with someone from Match. We haven't exchanged a lot of messages but he looks nice and the brief chats we've had have been ok
Mr RL is still messaging me which is good. Looking forward to having a proper date with him at the weekend.

Smeaton · 27/03/2018 09:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jaxinthebox · 27/03/2018 09:38

thanks all. Its a lesson learned! Back to the book WMLB although what Ive read so far, lots I do, some I dont... I unhid my profile and have had lots of messages, Im in no hurry.

IronNeonClasp · 27/03/2018 09:50

Smeaton thank you Smile

DaffoDeffo · 27/03/2018 10:20

we're not having much luck at the moment are we all!

following my very short drink with MrG (who I thought would be totally unsuitable but in real life turned out to be lovely) we have been whatsapping every day and he has told me he has been taken by surprise (and actually so have I) by how well we are getting on.

I am trying not to get carried away, we have only seen each other once but we have set a date to see each other next (after Easter) and I must be honest, I am hugely looking forward to it. He has told me enough details about his life that I don't think he is just going to up and disappear but who knows.

Fingers crossed!

Jaxinthebox · 27/03/2018 10:27

yay daffo . that sounds quite positive.

TomHardysBitontheside · 27/03/2018 11:37

daffo that sounds very positive.

I'm back on POF to get over Mr TV. Been contacted by someone 18 years younger than me!! A few conversations going on, which are a pleasant distraction. But seriously, some of these people seem to be on there all day!!

Skyrabbit · 27/03/2018 11:39

Iron agree, polite thanks but no thanks, then block!
daffo that sounds exciting!

I'm feeling quite blue about it all. It's very different to last time I tried OLD, and the only difference that I can tell, is that I've tipped into another age category this time - over 45. I assume a lot of guys cut off at 45. It's a bit depressing!