smeaton you are exactly right, totally right. But if I can give you a tiny bit of insight into it as after my divorce, I went to counselling as I wanted to understand what I had done wrong (or to slightly rephrase that, how i could do things differently). My exh was a perfectly decent man but we had got into a terrible rut and after him, I had fallen for a series of complete arseholes.
So basically, the falling for the drama is exactly right BUT men who bring that drama into your life also tend to be the ones that charm the pants off you. Both unsuitable boyf I had after exh came across initially as totally charming and wonderful except there were always red flags. However, what happens is that the charm is so fabulous that it blinds you to the red flags. I occasionally keep a diary and if I read it back, the red flags are there, but I was just blinded by the charm. Once I understood that I saw the red flags but ignored them, I've been a lot wiser. It is hard though, I think harder than you initially realise as people are drawn to the excitement of these charming, slightly dramatic men. And it's a danger point but at least one I recognise now!
then there's the category of the almost too nice men who are almost bowing down to you but it's clear their eye is on something else (the sort of cocklodger type bloke) who is actually a nice person on presentation but is being nice in the hope of getting themselves into a comfortable situation for them. They are easier to spot but no less charming that the ones above.
It must be frustrating for perfectly 'normal' men to sit back and see this happen especially as you are more adept at spotting these types than we are.