Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

that's so rude ha!

Although now MrLondon is renamed MrVWE.

Actually scratch that, isn't using that a bit mean to the men on this thread? It really doesn't matter!

I've just been blocked by someone on POF. We had a exchanged a few messages until I pointed out that punctuation is useful. His profile said he "liked walking cooking dogs". I was aiming for a bit of humour but I guess he didn't get it. Next!!

Smeaton it'll be an excuse. "too nice" will be her go-to reason when she wants to lets someone down gently. Better than ghosting I suppose.

sometimes i’m put off by men that are “too nice” because it seems they are eager to please not me specifically, but any female.

so it can seem a bit like they just want any woman to fill that space, so they’re super nice and submissive. whereas some other men could take or leave most women, but choose YOU specifically.

smeaton i wouldnt want someone who is unpleasant to other people. they can still be pleasant, but i want to feel like in a room full of women he’d choose me, and wouldnt be bothered about the rest. some men who are just “too nice” would have any woman in the room, just because he wants a girlfriend and anyone will do.

not saying you are at all like those men, and there is nothing wrong with being nice. just my two cents, maybe she just likes d*heads! its her loss anyway

Im up visiting my family about 3 hours away from where I live, just had a look on pof and there is 3 messages from local guys in this area. 1 is HOT! Typical.

jax can't you arrange a quick coffee?

I thought TW was for tight wanker.

Updates:

Mr25: might come tomorrow night to visit, but he is thinking about the cost (he is a student after all!). All in all its about 30 euros in tolls and petrol.

Mr Also 25: asking loads of questions, very respectful. Oh and I found out he used to represent Portugal in the 100m and 200 m sprint in athletics. I guess he has very strong thighs.

Mr Italian: still messaging but not that much, I will still meet him again in 2 weeks.

Mr Actor: very very witty. And more my age ;)

Mr French has popped up again. i could go to the big city this weekend and meet a few. But I feel like I shouldn't be the one making the effort to travel.

Mr Mysterious: the one who didn't behave too well as we had a meeting arranged and he chickened out has been back in touch apologising and saying how bad he feels. he is a real sweetie, I feel for him. I was very nice about it all, not sure I would make arrangements to meet him again, but I like chatting to him. He is very shy and sensitive I feel (genuinely).

No kids now until Monday. I might just sleep.

Well, I've been feeling a bit crap this week. Going thro the menopause and my emotions are all over the place. Not sexy, hey!
Anyway, MrWow or (VWE) has been really cheering me up with his sweet, funny and naughty messages. Shit, am going to fall for him! No other irons, not even looking, so I'm on dangerous ground.
The weird things is, judging by his picture and his age, there is no way I would have contacted him. He hit on the fact we worked together 30 yrs ago although I didn't remember him and that's the only reason I replied. He really looked better IRL and we easily slipped into something special. Oh shit. Kill me now!

Third it might work out well!

Third that sounds quite exciting actually - why don't you see where it takes you?

Pudding- you are doing amazing! I don't know where you find the time.

I dont know what to do about getting back on OLD.... After this week I deactivated my Match account and vowed I would never go back on. Now 2 days in and I already want to go back on.... it's worse than a crack addiction.

🙈

it is like an addiction..
I’ve got a couple of new potential irons which probably won’t go anywhere but for now let’s call them MrGun and MrRadio.
And and ignoring that’s kind of how I feel about other iron MrCat 😕

tech I am the same, I try leave it for a couple of days. I am taking it as a project to learn what I really want in the future but taking each day as it comes. i was in one relationship since the age of 17 to 39. I never just had fun seeing people or even that many male friends once I got into a relationship as he was always a bit jealous of other guys. Not in a totally overpowering way but it was easier for me just not to.

I like guys, I get on with men well, I have two boys, so in the end I am thinking that its a process in getting to know myself better, I figure it can only make me a more rounded person. I have two rules, be honest if asked directly about how I feel and act with as much integrity as I would expect.

Each interaction, you learn something new.

I frequently get frustrated with OLD, delete my profiles and vow never to do it again. But I always do.
I like meeting new people and each date or rejection has helped me learn more about myself and be confident in myself.
This evening I was about to pack it all in again when out of nowhere I got messages from two men that are my age and my type. So far so good with the messaging.

pudding me too last relationship 24 years, we pretty much did everything together not healthy looking back. He was quite controlling. I’m determined to see this daring game as fun ( it isn’t a lot of the time) and learning about myself. We are the prizes

I got a message on POF earlier saying that he thinks we're 'kindred spirits'. I liked his profile so I replied and we've been messaging back and forth but in about 8 messages now he hasn't asked me one single question. I'm asking questions to keep the conversation going but it's more like a one-sided interrogation and a bit too much like hard work tbh. He keeps replying really quickly but I'm not going to ask any more questions this time and see what he does - nothing is my guess. So lazy and unimaginative, ugh.

Some might think this is twee, but I quite liked it :)

ignoring that is very true and a reminder to people like myself who try and please everyone that you can't.

Vet I always give up on ones like that. Big generalisation but I have found a lot of men struggle to ask questions when texting but are better when you chat in RL.

A lot of women too. Maybe it's a text thing, maybe they're self absorbed.

I'm chatting to one woman at the moment, the conversation is easy, chatty, conversational. No awkward wondering about whether she got my humour, no having to explain that no I'm not married and looking for a bit on the side. No cringey moments when I realise she's used the word 'lol' more than any other word so far.

One in ten conversations, maybe, is like this. But then she'll stop responding or I will, and they're soon forgotten. I may ask her for a drink if she says something to make me laugh - I've had enough dull dates where I wish to god I'd never asked them.

Ignoring sadly I don’t appear to be the cup of tea to men who I think would be my cup of tea and they’re pretty few and far between anyhow.
I’ve decided to go to a gig a month if I can: I always walk in and go “aha! I am amongst my people” as I survey the sea of salt and pepper creative types with designer specs and interesting facial hair arrangements.

In fact I’m going to Meltdown in June and have decided to enter a bigamous marriage with Robert Smith. He’s ten years older than me (so why do “58” year olds on POF look 70? 🙄) thus perfect age gap.

Vet I hear you. Flogged a dead conversational horse into a date with Mr Moves; kinda wish I hadn’t bothered.

You sound a tad underwhelmed there, Bant

It feels like I'm panning the riverbed of shit creek, hoping for a nugget of gold but just finding sweetcorn, cover

I had a message today from a man with bigger tits than mine. He was holding a fish.

I feel your pain.

ARGHHH thought I'd try Match but don't really get it, it thought I was in London?? Thought I'd sign up for a months trial to try and switch the location and learn how to use it and got a message saying thanks for the 6nmonths and taking £150ish!!!

Wtf?