Break Out The Red Flag Bunting, It's Dating Thread 131

[VetOnCall]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Popcorn good luck to him finding his perfect women. This is the trouble with OLD, people think it’s like shopping on Amazon, that you can find exactly what you are looking for, someone who ticks all your boxes. Because there’s so much choice if someone doesn’t tick our boxes we can just find someone else. The truth is no ones going to tick all our boxes and you could be waiting for ever to find ‘the perfect person’. He sounds like a stuck up twat that’s rubbish in bed (I need someone who makes sure I climax and doesn’t put himself first).
One of my dates the other week (the one I never heard from again) loves climbing, I told him I was scared of heights and after that he just showed no interest in anything else I had to say. I am quite adventurous but there’s some things that I would just find to uncomfortable, like climbing up a cliff on a rope .

Morning all. Sorry to see some of you still meeting losers and silly men who are still looking for they’re ‘tick box’ woman.
We all have a list of qualities that we would appreciate and want in someone but we are all human and individual and have to think outside of the box sometimes... we can surprise ourselves!

Things going well for me still. Almost two months in and very happy with how things are going despite all the niggles at first.
I have to say I am SO insecure! And I can see it is a real issue but I can’t help it. think my ex husbands behaviour and level of betrayal and the idiots I met through OLD have scarred me... to be expected I think.
But something I need to work in before it eats me up... or my new relationship

Jax Mr Snog sounds fantastic

popcorn what a utter twat. There's probably no woman on this planet who will be "right" for him.

I've taken myself off the sites again!
I've no idea where I'm going wrong. My last dates seemed to be nice men but one turned out to be sleeping with someone else despite claiming he couldn't date more than one woman at a time. The other I was warned by a friend to stay away from.
I'm getting lots of views of my profile but zero messages or replies to my messages. I don't know what else to do.

Jax MB = mooseburgers = sex. If you Google it you'll get the explanation!

Runs I don't know what to suggest, it's shit. I get a lot of messages but hardly any from anyone I'm remotely interested in. A lot of the men on POF seriously overreach when messaging. I'm no supermodel but I'm above averagely attractive, intelligent, active etc. and I get countless 'your gorgeous lol fancy a chat' messages from men with dull, badly written profiles and photos that look like Crimewatch mugshots. It's depressing and a bit insulting. I got a match with someone on Bumble the other day but I think I swiped on them a while back and have pretty much given up on it since. Anyway, I subsequently got a message to say 'X has used his one-shot 24 hour extension on you!' so I thought oh maybe this one actually does exist, so I messaged him and true to Bumble form, got no reply. Total waste of time.

Vet and Runs
Don’t give up!
I do think Bumble is hard work but POF is enough to make you slit your wrists sometimes 🙄
The messages I used to get lol .... but then every so often I’d get a nice one and had some good dates....
Vet/Rubs send me your profiles PM. I’ve watched you antics for many months and would love to put a face to a name....
I sent mine to someone on here and it helped to get feeedback

Thanks Lost I've PM'd you with my profile link

I haven't got much time, but too climax focused? what the actual fuck???

mr Italian is still keen. I was talking to a male gay friend of mine last night about tinder and he persuaded me to get the tinder plus for a month. So i paid for a month, downloaded it, left my age criteria open over night to see what was waiting for me in the morning. Literally anything from 18 years to 72 (I kid you not). Its actually scared me: hahahaha! Have since changed my age ranges again. Jesus 18? That is only 8 years older than my son and 72 is older than my dad!

I like the way the word "meh" has been adopted by the board!

Too climax focused? Seriously?

Pudding I've never dated do that on Tinder but does paying for it mean you can see who liked you without you liking them?

I'm trying not to stress about Mr French. He's been messaging just as much since our date on Friday but hasn't asked me out again yet. I was away until last night though and he seems to prefer being spontaneous so I'm going with it and stopping myself from chasing him.

Dared not dated. Autocorrect!

WTF!! Bangs head on table. Just before I hide my profile I got a message from someone who's about 2 hours drive away. Shame because he looks like my type.
But I politely said thanks but no thanks, you're too far away. His reply - you're scared of distance coming between you and the one you love, I understand.
No, I'm not wasting time and petrol money traveling for hours to meet someone. So now he wants to travel to meet me. I've had to block him - too needy.

runs funnily enough I had the same sort of message last night, forwarded our chat to a great friend of mine who has categorically told me NO, dont meet him, too needy and a million other reasons. She knows dating of old so she is my tough chick who sorts me out when I waver.

Ive hid my profile for now. Just going to see what happens. Im away later this week and cant be doing with the continual pinging of stupid messages.

Todays little gem was - do you want to meet today so you can slap my face?

Really??

Morning all. I set myself a challenge to look at 200 Meet Me photos on POF. I swiped right once. These are not good odds.

And one of the disappearees has reappeared but yanno, I truly cannot be arsed.

It’s bitter out today, almost as bitter as me

Oh and if anyone wants to critique my profile be my guest.

I could do with some POF advice. Am pretty new to online dating. Is it normal for someone to message you, exchange a LOT of messages for a day or two (getting to know basic stuff about each other and lots of flirting), and then just kind of go quiet and disappear for two days around the time the conversation would usually turn to arranging a date?

Typing it out, it seems obvious that people are going to say he's not interested, but he really seemed very interested 2 days ago!! Moreso than the short exchanges with various other people that lead to nothing very quickly, that's for sure. His profile said he loves cooking and he joked about cooking me something nice one day,

Last message was from me on Saturday and he never replied. Should I bother sending one saying "I guess you lost interest?", or just move on?

But something I need to work in before it eats me up... or my new relationship

Identifying that is a great first step! It's really something you need to continually work on and keep in check. My ex when I was younger cheated on me and I ended up so insecure and jealous that I pretty much ruined the following two relationships I got into.

Just move on pane but keep it open if you do want to meet. He may be talking to someone else or just away. If you've not met then just keep the chat casual and try not to worry about the time between messages.

alison yes it see who you has already swiped on you, plus you can boost your profile every day or something and you get 5 super likes (i never even use my one, not once, seems a bit needy!).

It was 32 euros. I will cancel it next month, think you can get it cheaper if you sign up for longer.

Panetonne firstly what an EXCELLENT user name

And no, I really wouldn’t message. It’s very common, if not “normal” per se; people blow hot and cold and are messaging multiple irons and have some kind of mental hierarchy of interest. I don’t think he’s not interested, just that he’s interested in someone else more. Which from your perspective amounts to the same thing.

It’s a bugger as this has happened to me with the very few guys I’ve actually fancied from their photos. But I just think if I’m not worth pursuing then they’re not right for me so NEXT!
I’ve found if someone is going to go quiet for a while and they’re keen they’ll generally let me know.

He might pop up again in a while (you’ve moved up the heirarchy, lucky you!) and then it’s up to you if you engage.

pan I would just leave it see if he gets back in touch, or if you want just drop a hello message. I had a message this morning from a guy who hasn't been in touch for 3 weeks. But then I haven't been in touch with him either, I guess we have both been busy.

Don't stress. What will be, will be.

Can't believe the too climax focussed comment - well shot** !!
Runs - I had a stand up row with someone from Texas - he said he would relocate for the love of his life to be honest I was bored, and kept chatting, even though I didn't believe a word of it. He told I was narrow minded because I wouldn't entertain the thought of LTR to Texas
Panetonne I think , sadly, that's really common. It's very annoying, sometimes you think that this one might, just might, turn out to be a little bit normal, and POOF off they disappear. I think it's like Pokemon - Gotta Catch Em All. They just like to get women hooked, and agree to a possible date. They've caught you, so off they go on their merry little twisted way.

I'm not sure I've got any irons at the minute. The offensive tester is still apologising , and I'm chatting to a guy who works for Greenpeace, and is perfect on paper. BUT he's currently working away, and lives a 2 hour drive from me. My gut says it's pointless to keep chatting, but he's so nice I've stopped talking to another iron, purely because he's putting kisses on texts, and calling his kids 'bubs' I'm so shallow ...

Bold fail

Thanks everyone. I guess I knew that would be the answer, I just didn't want it to be true! Waah

What would have been the correct approach here? Clearly my sarcasm wasn't a winning one 😂

You're well shot sky. I couldn't engage with anyone who said 'how's you'. I like good grammar! Great sarcasm by the way .

Dear me it was 'how's u'. Even worse!